Counterpoint: Consensually touching an Australian was one of the nicest times I’ve had on the planet. The only toxicity encountered was the one evening we went to the neighborhood bar and had a “few”. but that was self-inflicted. She was quite amused by how few beers it took to disable me.
Tara, if you’re reading this, I’m single.
Lonely Planet guides are great and all; but before a trip to Australia, maybe read this one?
Poisonous animals usually advertise themselves by having bringht colours (think wasps, for example), especially in the sea. Edible animals who cannot defend hide.
If you see an animal with bright colours in the sea, do NOT touch it.
It’s a fairly short book.
The text just reads- “All of them. Except for some of the sheep, and even then, be cautious.”
A friend of mine has a video of then poking a textile cone (https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Conus_textile). Also not a good idea.
People made fun of me when i touched the jello-like Blobby. But now we are best friends. He’s slowly growing and maybe some day I can send part of him to friends to share.
What about the drop bears?
Thanks for the correction. Somewhere along the way I picked up the
impression that this was one of the “horrible agony” types. Maybe I was
conflating it with those lovely Irukandji jellies. Old brain does things
like that – too much input and insufficient processing power.
I don’t know, the bar I used to work at in manhattan attracted a lot of models for some reason. No idea why as it was south of Delancey. Anyway, one day there was a group of Australian models in for lunch. They were loud, obnoxious and one even licked my arm while I was taking her order. So far there have been no ill effects.
I am an apex predator and I will treat everything like my pet because Earth is my garden of eden!
/s (but only just. Sadly.)
Remember people, Grizzly Man did not have a happy ending. Respect and fear nature. It really does want you dead.
Brought to my mind this film:
(but it’s a New Zealand film…)
But now she has declared you her property with a scent mark.
A friend of mine brought me back an exotic pet from his expedition out there.
Its adorable and so frisky. It constantly wants to kiss me
One of my favorite audiobooks:
[Australia] has more things that will kill you than anywhere else. Of the world’s ten most poisonous snakes, all are Australian. Five of its creatures- the funnel web spider, box jellyfish, blue ringed octopus, paralysis tick, and stonefish- are the most lethal of their type in the world. This is a country where even the fluffiest caterpillar can lay you out with a toxic nip, where seashells will not just sting you but sometimes go for you. Pick up an innocuous cone shell from a Queensland beach, as innocent tourists are all too wont to do, and you will discover that the little fellow inside is not just astoundingly swift and testy but exceedingly venomous. If you are not stung or pronged to death in some unexpected manner, you may be fatally chomped by sharks or crocodiles, or carried helplessly out to sea by irresistible currents, or left to stagger to an unhappy death in the baking putback. It’s a tough place.
I hear they help with snoring.
releases a neurotoxin from its glands that causes paralysis, causing its prey to stop breathing and die “within an hour”.
I knew somebody like that, it was a long time ago, and we were young.
