What a load of…
What a load of…
Get over oneself, and act like a professional?
I appreciate your concrete suggestion. To clarify, this has only ever been an internal psychological problem, and the therapy has from the outset focused on this being my problem. The fact that ongoing intensive therapy has not lessened the psychological and neurological phenomenon, and the fact that my anecdote is viewed as trolling, or in some way inauthentic, by the forum, suggests to me that my subjective experience is highly uncommon and not relevant to this debate. It may be an example of a psychological disorder that we do not know yet how to properly treat.
Hi, I apologize. My anecdote was personal and is completely accurate. However based on the responses, it seems like my experience is very uncommon, and may actually be a neurological disorder (perhaps on the spectrum of other disorders where people are unable to control their sexuality). Therefore, it is not appropriate or relevant to this discussion. I sincerely apologize for causing a distraction. Best.
Hi, I made a mistake in posting. I think the neuro-psychological effects I am describing here may actually qualitatively different form normal attraction, perhaps related to or on the spectrum of disorders of sexuality that we do not understand nor know how to treat. That’s ok though. I’m sorry for derailing this discussion.
I apologise in turn. I skimmed your post and reacted immoderately.
For this particular guy in the OP, I think it unlikely that he was suffering from an unmanageable psychological reaction, in the first place. And in the second, regardless, he should find a better way of handling it than blaming the woman he’s got this
unhealthy fixation temporary hard-on for.
The fact that you’re self-aware enough to realize you have a problem and have taken actual steps to try and work on that problem, and also that you’re even willing to realize that you may be the one that has to leave whatever situation you’re in that is triggering your illness (rather than punishing another person for something that is not at all their fault) is really fucking great, and really fucking rare. So, thank you.
Separate desire with reality, mostly works for me.
perhaps the solution would be that if you have other options, not have business meetings in settings that could be inappropriate, regardless of your sexual orientation or the gender of the person you are meeting.
Well, and @0xFF86A4 may actually not be able to do that, but they make it clear, particularly in later comments clarifying, that they can’t separate their desire from reality, and they seem to be aware that this means there is a problem that may need to be professionally treated.
Honestly, I wonder if it couldn’t be OCD? OCD isn’t what the movies tend to make you believe. Since the OP has gone to therapy already, I imagine this has been part of their discussion. But, considering the particular American culture of both being obsessed by sexuality while also being simultaneously sexually repressed… well, this is where sexism hurts men, too, really. (I am assuming the OP is a man but I could be wrong, please correct me if I am). Our unhealthy relationship with sex in this country and elsewhere does not just harm women.
I believe what marilove was trying to convey was the idea that, in the case of a man worrying about being “caught” spending time with an attractive woman, what is that woman supposed to do to “alleviate such possible fears” in said worried man. Is she supposed to have a male escort with her so that they are not alone or something? This was marilove’s question to you, I believe.
And my point is that it’s the speaker’s problem, not the director’s. The same would be true regardless of the genders of either party - FF / FM / MF / MM. The problem is with the speaker.
If both parties were male and the gay/bi speaker had said he wished he hadn’t been in a bar with such an attractive man in case his colleagues/SO thought he was having an affair, you wouldn’t be asking how many other people the director should have brought with him. But it would still be the speaker’s problem.
Like when speaking to the agent of the woman in question, both of whom I assume from context were not well known to the speaker.
It’s because they keep hanging out with all the black non-directors.
If, but they never are, they’re always males.
You’re right, its the speaker’s problem, but then why do they have to complain that the other person is atractive to anybody? Should just tell their SO’s to stop being so insecure.
Telling your SO to “stop being so insecure” isn’t a technique well known for its success rate…
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