more importantly…what the fastest pick-up line?
(i’m sure there is a hilarious reddit thread out there answering this question.)
1 Like
There was one across the street from work that closed 2 months ago. It was never a quick errand, even for 1 or 2 things, because they never opened enough registers. And look where it got 'em (I know, I know, the whole company has bigger issues). Still, it was nice to be able to walk across the street instead of hopping in the car.
EDIT to add:
1 Like
Did anyone else find this post exception shallow? It did not answer the question, did not reveal anything exceptional or surprising, except maybe that the study of queuing has a name. No studies, attribution … nothing. This feels like a missed oportunity.
I am not even convinced that the serpentine line is the quickest, although maybe the fairest.
6 Likes
There is some very robust and longstanding Murphology on this topic.
Etorre’s Observation (from Murphy’s Law): The other line moves faster.
O’Brien’s Variation on Etorre’s Observation: If you change lines, the one you just left will start to move faster than the one you are now in.
Kenton’s Corollary: Switching back screws up both lines and makes everybody angry.
The Queue Principle: the longer you wait in line, the greater the likelihood that you are standing in the wrong line.
Flugg’s Rule: The slowest checker is always at the quick-check-out lane.
from Murphy’s Law, Book Two pp. 20-21
2 Likes
I have found that the best way of dealing with multiple lines is to check for the line with the best-looking people on it, or the best-looking cashier. I then ogle that person while running erotic fantasies through my mind. The longer the line takes, the better; but time flies when you’re having fun.
If you’re seriously concerned with the time spent in the supermarket, however, take note of at which time of day the store tends to have the best customer-to-cashier ratio. Most stores have a distinct pattern, but differ from one another depending on the class, ethnicity, culture, and other demographics of the neighborhood. Once you have it figured out you can waltz in and out in a few minutes. You’re going to miss all those babes or hunks you used to ogle, though.
4 Likes
The serpentine line is definitely the quickest in the most important of applications: porta-johns. At road races, where there’s many hundreds to many thousands of people who are slightly over-hydrated and nervous poopers, the queues can be ridiculous. But if there’s enough porta potties, the serpentine line will never be static. When executed properly, it’s a glory to behold.
2 Likes
Came here to post this, a true Life Hack.
Much better than “This may be an old wives’ tale, but if you’re at a theme park with long lines, heading left is worth a try.” Certainly a step down from typical BoingBoing posts (and apparently a book I’ll be avoiding).
1 Like
How about
“Baby, I don’t care how many things you’ve got in your cart. I could check you out all day long.”
6 Likes
I applied queue theory to printers, once. It’s another obvious application and the results are interesting.
Unfortunately manufacturers and agents want to get people to sign up for contracts for huge high speed multifunction machines, while my model suggested that, taking wages into account, sticking a small laser printer and a scanner on everybody’s desk was more cost effective.
Usually in large companies, Facilities are only measured on how low they can go on cost for a given service, not how efficiently it is delivered.
At this point, I decided that management science is, actually, science; it’s just that most real world managements ignore it.
3 Likes
I use nfc. It annoys me watching people stick their nfc-equipped cards in the machine and typing out PINs because they are too *ing ignorant to learn a piece of simple technology.
The cashiers like it when people use nfc - one less little job for them to do.
2 Likes
Those lines in my experience may be fast, but the whole process of checking out using one is slowest - because I try and fail to use the things, then have to queue up at one of the regular checkouts to actually get my groceries bought.
Seriously, if I do anything the robot isn’t expecting - put a thing directly in my backpack rather than onto the loading scale, scan a thing it’s missing the barcode for, type in a barcode because it won’t read properly, put a backpack or a cloth shopping bag down on the scale before starting to scan things, try to scan a coupon the store itself issued - the machine immediately freaks out, flashes the “there is a thief in our midst” light, and instructs me in a condescendingly accusatory tone to wait by the flashing light for assistance.
1 Like
It boggles my mind that most grocery stores can’t figure out what banks have realized forever - the fastest and fairest system is to have a single queue served by multiple cashiers.
6 Likes
Thanks for not really sharing what the fastest line is (serpentine, which for the most part, is the ONLY line when it exists and rarely exists anyway).
The fastest line:
- has the least amount of people
- with the least amount of stuff per person
- the least amount of old people (who take forever)
- the least amount of poor people (might fumble with coupon problems for a 10x wait)
- the most experienced looking cashier (neither too old nor too young, processes people quickly)
The most important factor IMO is an experienced cashier. You can be in a line twice as long and still get through faster. Largest variable is time proccessed per customer of a register. Hope this helps.
Also never use self checkout! It takes 5 times as long to scan your stuff (people who do it for a living are pros compared to you) and any person in line in front of you will take 5 times as long as they run into various errors. So 5x the wait time/person if you’re considering it as an option.
Source: I always get the fastest line. every time
I’m certain they have the advantage of (for example) having the PLU codes committed to memory, but they also have the advantage of not having to go through this:
“Please scan your next item.”
BEEP
“Please wait for assistance.”
2 Likes
Impossible. Although I agree and employ these tactics, one will still regularly get stuck in a slow line. Such is the unpredictability of mankind!
Also, you should avoid young customers, ~16 and under; they are just as bad as old people.
@starrygordon - I agree that picking a line with an attractive clerk/customer is another good strategy to just enjoy the ride. Remember though, peek, don’t ogle!
hehe. I think your are describing the perception of quickness. Of course in the case of port-johns, being in the line that happens to be stalled (!) can have dire consequences.
So, no answer given really.
My 2c: One of the things I liked most about Canada was the frequency of serpentine lines compared to my home country. So much less frustrating!
There´s one supermarket where I live that pays their cashiers premiums for reaching certain quotas of customers served. I love shopping there. The cashiers are lightning quick and always appreciative of my own efforts to speed up the process. They also don´t use barcodes for some things but rather punch product category numbers into the register which often is much faster than fiddling with a package to get the code to read correctly.
It´s not an exploitative model for the cashiers either. A friend of mine worked there through college and made significantly more money than a cashier at a regular supermarket does.
3 Likes
Office Space traffic jam scene
2 Likes
Little’s Law
3 Likes
