What's it like to eat the daily rations of a Dungeons & Dragons adventurer?

Originally published at: What's it like to eat the daily rations of a Dungeons & Dragons adventurer? | Boing Boing

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I wonder what his roommates thought.

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I was assuming this was about the monsters surviving on their diet of adventurers.

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I was hoping that he had the recipe for lembas bread.

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Cheetos, pizza and Pepsi?

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When I follow the recipe for focaccia, I end up making lembas instead.

Sesame Street Idk GIF

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No lembas, only cram.

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This was cool. Seems like a very early-post ice age diet for travelers.
I thought the sodium would be way higher, but actually came in relatively healthy, compared to a lot of modern USAian diets.
Only thing I’d do differently if I were partaking in the same experiment is make some of the jerky and hard tack into a kind of stew, I think.
I’ve still got all mine, but this diet would be difficult for someone with missing or damaged teeth.

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Perils of the Pitiless Citadel (NSFW)

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Way too many carbs!

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Oh boy. You are right though - when I am snacking I am basically a gelatinous cube

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Growing up, my Mom would make something similar to this using boxed Danish Dessert, but I always spelled it “cram” in my head. The Hobbit threw me off, because cram was supposed to be sweet/tart and delicious.

Probably still correct in this case!

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In the “wild” where there are good sources of water, that would be the best way to do it. I wonder about the availability of fresh water in dungeons, though. It might be prohibitively scarce to make stews. Then again, purifying questionable water by boiling it then making a stew with it might make terrible-tasting water palatable.

Season 5 Reaction GIF by Outlander

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Always bring a cleric.
https://www.dndbeyond.com/spells/create-or-destroy-water

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It seems a reasonable, basic adventurer’s diet but after a week of that I predict they’ll poop like an absolute hero.

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I always worry about depending on the cleric in case of the Saving Private Ryan scenario, where the cleric in the squad is the first one to get gakked.

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A lot of people (and monsters) forget that they are actually open containers of water

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image

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Well, liquids, anyways. Need an alchemist to really strain the bits out.

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That reminds me. I need to give one of my emergency meal “breakfast skillet” a taste test. Better to know what I’m in for if I need it.

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