In the true end times, if there is coffee available, chew and swallow the beans. We will all be verrrrrry hungry.
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Are we making end times coffee?
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It only tastes burnt if you do it wrong ;-). There are 2 ways to make it taste burnt:
- Put it on a too high fire. If the flames leak around the pot, it’s too high. The top part of the pot will get too hot. Burning your gasket and burning your coffee grounds, both leading to a burnt taste.
- Leave it on the fire after it’s done. There should remain some water in the bottom part to prevent the top getting hotter than 100 degrees celcius. This will also burn your gasket, but it will also lead to any coffee residue in the bottom part getting burnt really bad. This will give all the coffee you make after this one a nasty burnt taste.
This of course inevitably happens from time to time. If it happens you need to scrub out the bottom part very thoroughly with a metal sponge (or something equivalent) and replace the gasket.
After scrubbing I always put in just clean water and let it boil through once, to take away the scrubbing residues.
Still your first few rounds will taste slightly burnt, even after scrubbing, but that will subside and your pot will be good until the next time you forget to take it off the stove 
As for bitter that depend, in my experience, mainly on what type of beans you use. Dark roasts are not nice in a moka pot imho, but some people really like them so…
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This is the truth. ↑ Avoid letting it overheat or leaving it simmering and coffee should be yum.
I’d add to use the freshest, most pungent, finely ground coffee possible.
I’m in love with my old mocha-pot. It’s one of two bulky mainstay items I insist on having at hand even when living out of a backpack.
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I read somewhere that during WW2 the British Navy used to make a coffee substitute with burnt toast crumbs.
And my Dad (who was a child in Ireland during WW2) acquired a taste for chicory coffee, which I’ve just rediscovered via a Polish friend.
I gather it doesn’t have any caffeine, but it tastes pretty good (to me) being slightly sweeter than coffee.
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Also, for austere environments I’m a proponent of cowboy coffee.
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What’s the best end times coffee maker?
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Ixnay on the “end times coffee”! Let’s not start people panic buying coffee, please.
I’d rather not be in the breakfast aisle, clubbing people with my metal French Press for the last can or bag.
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I rotate through a few different types of coffee making methods depending on my mood, but my tastes have settled on a quasi-americano as my perfect cup of coffee (minus actually making real espresso)-- what I love about my little 6 oz moka pot is it makes a strong, hot single serving of coffee that I usually top off with a little more hot water. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve definitely started considering temperature a vital element of what makes coffee enjoyable, and as long as you kind of keep an ear out to pull the moka pot off the stove as soon as it starts hissing it ends up perfectly hot, but not burnt.
I’ve owned a few different sizes/models of bialetti pots over the years, but to be honest, my tried and true favorite pot is a no-name brand one that I pulled out of my building’s recycling bin 10 years ago-- at least in NYC you can buy the same or similar for under $10 at any bodega.
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My OTHER end times coffee strategy is cold brew/hot water. I bought the OXO compact cold brew system over the summer after a lifetime of winging it and I gotta say it’s made the process a lot quicker/easier/more consistent. Mostly I just want hot coffee in my hand as soon as I wake up and since I live alone I like anything that’s good/fast.
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Started drinking coffee from a moka pot in Germany.
Coming back home my dad gave me the stainless steel moka pot he got from my aunt that she brought back with her from Italy.
Couldn’t recommend stainless steel over aluminum enough… doesn’t aluminum break down from the acidity?
Boiling water in a stove top kettle at high heat, pouring it into the chamber just below the *release valve (I cover it because I’m a threat to myself and my family) . Using fine ground coffee beans infill the filter up just below the rim and drop the filter into the base. The water will already start to soak into the bean powder. Use the tea towel to tighten the base to the top, but don’t let any ground coffee into the thread or you’ll lose that pressure and the coffee will burn on the element… and that will ruin a Monday.
Turning the stove element all the way to just below 1, the little fire power left in the element pushes the brew just slowly enough for a nice rich coffee. If the coffee is too strong just put some of your left over boiled water into the cup to warm the milk.
Truuuust me. If you like rituals, it’s worth it.
Just don’t risk covering the *release valve. These bastards can explode.
Turning to the lowest heat, you don’t risk melting the plastic handle off if you somehow forget you’re making coffee… so I hear.
Probably why my partner prefers the French press.
*edited because I was calling the release valve a gasket
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My first question as well. If things started to collapse, the stuff with complex supply chains that can’t be made locally would go first, and well, coffee is high on that list. Also say goodbye to bananas, chocolate, latex, and most produce in winter.
Instead of indulging dark fantasies about it all, how about we work to prevent a collapse? Personally I’m very fond of coffee, bananas, chocolate, blueberries in December and, uh… latex.
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I don’t know what kind of French presses people are using, but I’ve had several (it’s my preferred method), and I’ve never broken one while cleaning it. I’ll probably try a Moka pot at some point, but I don’t need a burner for my French press, just the same electric kettle I use for tea.
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When I was young, dumb, and knew nothing of safe food handling, we made a big pot of teriyaki chicken every weekend. The running joke was that on Monday you’d be offered a plate of chicken, but by Thursday you could have a glass of chicken.
By hoarding ammo?
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Hmm, that might make good trading material for people with coffee stores. But eventually, how are we getting that coffee from the “hills of Columbia”?
But now that you mention it, it sounds like an interesting story idea. “Coffee Pirates”. In a post apocalyptic world, a convoy of ships trying to race down from Florida to Columbia to pick up the black market coffee to ship back. They trade in small arms and Twinkies for the brown nectar. Ironically, the captain only drinks Mt Dew, he doesn’t touch the stuff he deals in.
Or maybe they are driving through central and South America to deliver the coffee. Mad Max: Folgers’ Road.
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I was taking the darkly cynical route: suggesting that if your neighbors hoard adequate supplies, all you need to hoard is ammo.
<voice=“Indy”>
It had to be Folger’s, didn’t it.
<voice>
Is it really not possible to grow coffee elsewhere, though? Greenhouse, hydro, sex magick?
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You cannot get any more basic or durable than this little cutey. Takes a little practice, but you can make seriously strong coffee with minimal beans and a heat source.
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Coffee can be grown in the US, not efficiently but it’s in the realm of “technically possible”. After all there are grow your own coffee kits that have been available for some time. What region you’re in will matter and growing in makeshift greenhouses or doing container gardening so you can bring the plants indoors to keep them from being exposed to the cold is doable. Would be a pain in the ass to do at a meaningful scale with container gardening so i’d look at varieties more tolerant to the cold or having a greenhouse of sorts.
I would actually consider growing my own coffee beans should i ever get my own property within the next few years, but i also have fantasies about growing all kinds of food stuffs.
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combined with one of these: campstove
Will give the best backpacking coffee possible. The slight woodsmoke taste in the coffee heightens the camping spirit ;-).
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