Unfortunately for me, I remember the whole thing. Except Colin’s dick. I mean, I remember it happened but—
1 Like
Well there was press/preview screening of The Specialist where I wanted someone to come pay me for having sat through that. I mean if early 20somehing me out loud comments “Okay we saw Sharon Stone’s ass can we get on with the movie” it has problems. My comment did amuse all the older people from whatever retirement community got passes sitting behind me though.
I sat through all of Rat Pfink a Boo Boo. There are some truly bad bad but at least passably fun bits and it doesn’t drag on except the ending chase scene. Probably a lot more fun to watch with friends and some libations.
The most painful film for me so far was Invasion Of The Star Creatures with more and worse corridor running and general pacing than a 1980s era Doctor Who episode.
1 Like
I seem to have an aversion for many Tim Burton films as well as mentioned here: The Huntsman: Winter’s War is a terrible movie, say critics.
Something about the aesthetic and forced levels of “look at me I’m so weird and clever” that has never resonated with me. With that said, Alice in Wonderland was perhaps the worst of all of his films that I’ve seen. It was a joyless turd that was torture to sit through.
I’m really not looking forward to seeing his treatment of Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children. The book was great, and I’m worried the film will become his typical over-the-top self-congratulatory bullshit.
5 Likes
I have to go with Star Trek Into Darkness.
It’s a Star Trek movie, made by a guy who didn’t like Star Trek, that threw away everything that made Star Trek the cultural phenomenon that it has been for decades.
It threw away contemplation of the political environment of today. It threw away reflection on what it means to be human. It threw away any optimism that, in a few centuries, humanity might become something better than what we are today.
What did we get instead? A generic action movie plot, a villain recycled from a much better movie, and plot holes big enough to fit a J.J. Abrams lens flare through.
8 Likes
I stumbled on that at the library awhile ago and rewatched it as well as the extras. Part of what made it fail was they had absolutely no clue on how to end the movie even after shooting had started and the whole is this a kids movie or a horror movie thing as well.
I am sorry I made one of my parents sit through that in the theater now.
2 Likes
That would have been my choice, a really appalling waste of talent. The only reason I didn’t walk out was that it was my nephew’s birthday treat.
6 Likes
Gods. I saw Clifford that way when I was a youngin. I don’t know if it was terrible but it was painful.
Oh, I am so with you there. Star Trek has been in my life for as long as I can remember. It’s a major part of my life now. And that movie is just an insult to everything I hold dear.
6 Likes
That is one of the rare films that I was angry at. Should have walked out, but I stay for the length of any Greco-Roman film since the post-viewing pedantry is part of the point for me. They put a fricking Japanese Buddha in Ptolemy’s palace at the end, so there was that.
6 Likes
The elderly western miner/cowboy accented robot made be cringe. The ship design - all glass walls and ceiling like a big greenhouse - made me cringe. A meteor a hundred feet across crashes through the length of the ship, and there’s no decompression. etc.
It was an awful mess long before the awful ending.
3 Likes
When this thread started I was thinking “I guess there haven’t been that many movies I hated” but reading this is just bringing up all kinds of bad movies I’ve seen like a bunch of repressed memories.
Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow. My god was that a shit sandwich. I can’t believe it was reviewed as highly as it was. League of Extraordinary Gentlemen violated several orders of the Geneva Convention with its many layers of terribleness. Oh, and speaking of Tim Burton films, Dark Shadows. 'nuff said there.
I feel like I need a drink now.
5 Likes
There you go. I absolutely loved The Man Who Wasn’t There until Billy Bob crashed the car when Scarlett went down on him, and after that I thought it went completely off the rails.
Hear, hear. Yeah, that really was the maddest I ever got at a movie that should have been ever so much better. Just the worst violence ever done to the spirit of Lewis Carroll.
2 Likes
Oh see that isn’t a movie to watch for story or plot or acting or anything like that. That is a movie about sets (well CGI sets in that case) and costumes like Barbarella.
2 Likes
The first time I saw Lost in Translation I didn’t particularly care for it. The second time I enjoyed it immensely. It strikes me as one of those films that you need to be in a particular frame of mind to enjoy otherwise it’s just a 2 hour slog where nothing really happens and nobody really develops as a character.
5 Likes
FTFY
3 Likes
i came to that movie as a fan of j.g. ballard’s fiction and so i thought it was a fairly apt translation of the story to the screen.
Black Swan springs immediately to mind. I just thought it was utterly stupid. Or the hateful The Skin I Live In.
1 Like
I wasn’t aware of any prior connections. I came into it like, “I like Cronenberg’s other films so maybe I’ll like this one.”
I was very wrong.
He strip-mined the franchise.
Even in science fiction fantasy, you give the technology limitations. Many of the best stories are based around encountering those limits. In Star Trek the transporters can only beam you to the planet from orbit for example. The ship still needs to get you to the planet.
In Star Trek 2009 Abrams had transporters that could beam you onto a ship hours away at warp speeds, moving at warp speed.
In Star Trek Into Darkness he had briefcase-sized transporters that could beam you from Earth to the Klingon homeworld. Plus a cures-all super-serum that could bring people (and tribbles) back from the dead.
Which means that later Star Trek movies wouldn’t even need ships. And you have a handy miracle cure on hand. It was like a visit from a drift-net factory fishing fleet, leaving nothing behind for future generations.
BTW, notice how AFTER the villain beamed himself from a shuttle, on earth, in combat, across the galaxy to the Klingon homeworld, the Enterprise couldn’t even beam him up from the surface to the cloud-tops. Because interference.
10 Likes
As soon as I saw the Enterprise being built on the ground, on the actual surface of the Earth, in like a cornfield in Iowa, I knew the wrong guy was in charge.
15 Likes
my vote is for “natural born killers” which i thought was probably the worst seriously made movie this side of “plan 9 from outer space” which at least was bad enough to be somewhat entertaining.
2 Likes
