♪ Oh what circus ♫
I’ll just see myself out now…
…but before I do, speaking of awesome films everyone hates…
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Man oh man. I guess it’s a small mercy that it was E.T. you saw that day, rather than Close Encounters.
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I know! I have that on my wish list, I really need to buy it some day.
Have yet to see close encounters.
It’s funny, as a kid, I was very exophobic after seeing ET. I couldn’t watch anything with aliens at all. Exept Star Wars. I was okay with that. Even the Bith in the Cantina didn’t bother me.
I think it might’ve been because the aliens in Star Wars were other instead of superior. They were just other animals like us. Instead of these supernatural beings who could treat you the way you treat a bug. They didn’t make you dance like a puppet. They didn’t kidnap you and take you away. They were just these guys who sometimes are around and some of them are cool and some are lame, and others are good guys and a few are bad guys.
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You’ll want to skip this then…
You won’t regret it; it’s a hoot. I love that whole genre of Hollywood takedowns. My first was Final Cut: Dreams and Disaster in the Making of Heaven’s Gate, and I similarly dug The Devil’s Candy (about the making of Bonfire of the Vanities) and Monster: Living Off The Big Screen which is about the long, slow, torturous path of development of Up Close and Personal.
But man, Guber and Peters… what a pair.
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For “So Bad It’s Good,” I have to say Underworld.
It’s vampires! And werewolves! And they’re at war! And there’s a chosen one! Who becomes a werewolf! And falls in love with a vampire!
Honestly though, there is so much ham (especially Bill Nighy), and it has Kate Beckinsale in skintight leather
I know, objectively, that it’s a bad movie, but I do enjoy watching it.
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But also Wesley Sni… I mean Michael Sheen!
Man, that movie pissed me off. Werewolves at war with vampires, yeah, should be great fun. Except they fight with guns. That shoot bullets full of liquid sunlight.
And then the dipshit who thinks this horsepucky up even got to marry Kate Beckinsale!!
Gahh…
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These days I’m better. I had a lot of counseling as a teen that helped a lot.
We (the parents and I) decided counseling was necessary when I had a full blown panic attack in the theater watching Signs.
Oh, there’s another fucking horrible movie.
Signs.
I’ve actually seen it recently. Lame twist. Repetitive music with like 2 leitmotifs. Not a lot of plot. Slow. Contrived metaphor for regaining faith.
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Uh… maybe skip CE3K. Although the aliens themselves in the movie, once you finally get to see them, are as physically nonthreatening as can be, they’re at least as powerfully overevolved as E.T. and his brethren, and unlike E.T., they definitely kidnap you and take you away.
But… they do, at least, bring you back. Not apparently any the worse for wear.
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That is a perfectly valid reason to like a movie.
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The number 666 means bad things in movies, random Arabic characters can as well. With the universal access signs for “no” and “danger,” that’s extra spooky. They forgot 
and 
though. Whoever they are, they clearly are an organized group of very bright individuals. There’s no way @falcor can even delete them.
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I have mixed feelings about Hardcore Henry.
Production-wise: Stunning. Could have only been made in Russia. US insurance would have never allowed it. They didn’t need any VFX because the stunts and explosions and guns and shit are all real.
On the other hand, the writing is… a bit cliched. The villain is totally cartoon-level.
But! That’s on purpose! He’s acting the whole time. He planned his lines as the villain. So… You can’t really fault him for saying shit like:
“Aww, what a sweet moment. If I brewed a cup of tea, it wouldn’t need any sugar.”
Overall, I love Hardcore Henry. But it’s probably a bad movie…
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I’ve heard it’s surprisingly good. Am I misinformed? Would I be wasting a matinee ticket price?
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Cause I honestly didn’t remember much other than I had seen it. Visually it was pretty cool if dated effects wise. But oh the plot is a big giant trainwreck to nowhere and like I said before I have seen worse.
It’s probably the most violent movie I’ve ever seen in the cinema.
It’s very well-executed, doesn’t use much technobabble for bubblegum sci-fi, and is relentlessly fast-paced. At 90 minutes long, it feels almost like a half hour TV show.
It’s got drugs, sex and rock’n’roll and indeed Henry is Hardcore.
They call it a First Person Shooter movie, and they’re not wrong. It feels a lot like watching FPS gameplay on Twitch.tv
So, if you’re into high bodycounts, creative kills, real (fucking dangerous) stunts, a movie villain who doesn’t even try being plausible, and cyborgs. Then, you weren’t misled at all. It’s definitely worth seeing in the theater. And it has some great humor in it too.
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Okay… so I know what too expect now. I guess the real question is if it’s better than this surprisingly bizarre shitshow (complete with random lactation fetish):
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At one point in Hardcore Henry, they’re under attack in a brothel, and Henry just bursts into a private room. There’s a guy in his underpants, lying on his back waggling his hands and feet in the air going “Vrooom”. Looks Henry in the eye and just says “I’m a FUCKING CAR baby.”
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But the extras? At that point you know what you just experienced. Old-timey western accented robots. “I’ve seen worse” wouldn’t be enough for me to jump into more.
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