When the oil runs out, what do we do with all the tankers?

boing
21

They likely have enough space in their existing sea-water ballast tanks to do just that as is.

22

Anyone who thinks ships are “immortal” has never worked on a ship. Don’t worry about what to do with them, they’ll go away.

1 Like
23

After not too long either.

the_most_famous_ship_in_the_desert.jpg700×525 203 KB

This one made land in 1909 at the Skeleton Coast in Namibia.

1 Like
24

Is that book any good?

25

Load them up with all the world’s climate change deniers (two by two because I’m a fan of delicious irony) and scuttle them over the Mariana Trench.

4 Likes
26

I’d use them to hijack ballistic missile submarines. And then I’d cleanse the surface world.

10-the-spy-who-loved-me-submarines.jpeg1023×513 230 KB

6 Likes
27

If you’re going the super-villain route, I know where you can get a boatload of scorpions and spiders.

5 Likes
28

Also, you need one of these for the command-center:

plus, it massages!1098×1193 170 KB

Plus, any self-respecting super-villain needs a laser.

3 Likes
29

1 Like
30

I am reminded of a passage from Bruce Sterling’s short story We See Things Differently:

He dictated in a low, staccato voice, not losing his place in our conversation, simply loosing a burst of thought. “'Let us be frank. Before I showed an interest you were ready to sell the ship for scrap iron. This is not an era for supertankers. They are dead tech, smokestack-era garbage. Reconsider my offer.”’ The secretary pounded keys. Boston looked at me again, returning the searchlight of his attention.

“You plan to buy a supertanker?” I said.

“I wanted an aircraft carrier,” he said, smiling. “They’re all in mothballs, but the Feds frown on selling nuke power plants to private citizens.”

“We will make the tanker into a floating stadium,” Plisetskaya put in. She sat slumped in a padded chair, wearing satin lounge pajamas. A half-filled ashtray on the chair’s arm reeked of strong tobacco.

“Ever been inside a tanker?” Boston said. “Huge. Great acoustics.”

We See Things Differently is an extraordinary work – Sterling at the top of his game, and one of my all-time favorite stories.

Update: changed link to point at page one of the story, rather than page six (where the quote appears).

3 Likes
31

You do whatever’s best for the business, obviously. Sink them, leave them to wash up on beaches, sell them to the government for use as FEMA shelters… Whatever makes the most $$ for the industry is what should be done–unless you believe in job-killing over-regulation and hate America.

32

Do you expect me to to talk?

No, Mr Bond, I expect you to conform to externally constructed gender norms!

5 Likes
33

Um… about that future tense…

1 Like
34

NB: WSTD is available online.

1 Like
35

I’ll be making mine into some kind of caged soccer match.

1 Like
36

Floating skate parks, obviously.

2 Likes
37

Thank you for that.

38

This topic was automatically closed after 5 days. New replies are no longer allowed.