The only one in the article I disagreed with was the view of Grant. From what I had read Grant was not a horrible drunk but rather a man who could not handle his alcohol. It was also stated that he had a real aversion to seeing blood, and was deeply moved by the gruesome results of battles. Overall, I feel he was a very sensitive man.
He still would have survived long because when things got tough he would have just called on Sherman, and Sherman would have his back!
One could argue that your losers list fits well for any other aspect of their presidencies, too.
I believe that if struck down, he would only arise more powerful than before.
Movie knife fight: Probably Barack. Coolest president weāve ever had and definitely looked the best on camera/portraits.
In a real knife fight, well, not even the most ārealisticā action films Iāve seen have ever depicted how a real knife fight goes down. Iāve thankfully never been in the position to learn firsthand but Iāve taken no-nonsense self defenses classes before and have spoken with knife attack survivors.
Itās absolutely nothing like you see on screen. Iām not just talking about like West Side Story knife fights or elaborate kung fu movies, but even the sort of thing youād see Jason Bourne doing is total bullshit.
A real knife attack looks like this. And this. Height doesnāt matter. Strength doesnāt matter. Size doesnāt matter. There are no fancy techniques to learn or guaranteed methods of defense. Chances are, if an experienced killer wants to take you out with a knife, thatās exactly what will happen. You most likely wonāt see it coming, and even if you do, your body will probably be panicking and freezing up from the sheer rage and aggression coming from your attacker. Anyone who tells you that you can āblockā a knife attack is bullshitting you.
The guy who wins a knife fight will be:
So with all that in mind, thereās only two possible candidates that could win a presidential knife fight: Theodore Roosevelt and Andrew Jackson. Hardened military men who saw extensive combat, and on top of that, the most craziest, angriest presidents weāve ever had. Even with all the other presidents holding knives, I think theyād ultimately shit their pants because theyād have no idea how to deal with the stress of a dedicated, ruthless attacker, especially ones with training and years of actual battle experience.
Wait right there. Everybody knows itās HRC.
Teddy Roosevelt. No question. Iām not sure the man would even break a sweat.
That takes a little time, if he is smarter and faster than you then yeah, he is going to win, same as any close in fight. You could say the same thing about blocking punches. In neither case are you supposed to stand there holding his wrist like a dumbass. Sure, the first rule of a knife fight is āyou will get cutā but it is a long way from that to saying that strength and size donāt matter and that there are no useful techniques to learn.
Knife fight? Isnāt that what guns are for?
Liked purely for the phrase āginormous dickheadāā¦!
for anyone who wonders why Abe Lincoln might winā¦You clearly havenāt seen this autobiographical filmā¦
But his gun would only be a single shot. Revolvers really only became reasonably common after his death. But he sure does stand a good chance just because of his sheer murderousness, which is going to matter a lotā¦
I agree with your conclusion, but feel the need to point out that there are other ways to survive knife attacks. The ability to outrun your opponent, and/or put something big and non-cuttable (like a door) between you, are both known solutions.
Although as you say, if someone is actually trained to be a killer-with-a-blade, youāre SOL at that point.
He probably wouldnāt even bother with the knife. Heād just grab Martin Van Buren by the sideburns and swing him around as a bludgeoning device.
Actually, I take that back. He wouldnāt bother with the knife in combat but afterward heād use it to personally skin his opponents in preparation for donating their stuffed and mounted remains to the Smithsonian.
Microbrain? Leave Worf out of this.
Autobiographical?
Now Iām wondering which of Seth Grahame-Smith, Simon Kinberg, Tim Burton, Timur Bekmambetov, and Benjamin Walker is an alias for Abraham Lincoln.
Unlessā¦ Could they all really be aliases for Abraham Lincoln?
Please let it be against Dan Quayle. Please let it be against Dan Quayle. Please let it be against Daā¦
What if it were a potatoe fight?
Iām going with Polk, and having killed all other presidents, he would have no need for a second term.
