Winner of our 2015 Treasure Island Music Festival haiku contest!

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Would that be “churches”?

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Oh, heck, I’ve even seen them in concert!

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What? My aunt just called about this…WHAT?!? I WON!!! OMG OMG
OMG OMG OMG OMG THIS IS SO CRAZY RIGHT NOW I JUST DON’T EVEN

No, thanks, really, thanks a bunch. That really means a lot. Guys, Tiger Blood and E, and especially you, Natasha. Really. I couldn’t have done it without your helping me along the way. The fighting, the drugs, that submarine near Uluwatu…

I think the haiku really came together after I prayed on it with FatherGod Popalicious–the meter of the thing was all his, really–and I’ve been reading a great deal of Sanskrit and Penthouse Letters which were obviously a huge influence in the piece. Originally, it began something like “And the moon hung heavy in the friscalating dusklight…” but lawyers got involved and that was that.

Ultimately, I’d like to thank the Sex Pistols and those candy Dunkin Stix for teaching me all there is to know about love, and please hold all questions until the scotch has been poured. Thanks. No, thank you. No, really. It’s been great.

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