Woman arrested for selling fake doctor's notes to students playing hooky

Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2019/11/01/woman-arrested-for-selling-fak.html


Signed “Epstein’s Mother”


This is both brilliant and stoopid.


She was arrested in Vernon parish, not Vermillion (~100 miles in between).

This is in a town (Evans, LA) without much more than 14 students total, how did she sell notes to 14 kids?
Its a $200 scam with 100% chance of getting caught. Why?

edit: Vermillion mention was deleted from story


laws can be so weird. she didn’t file or maintain any public records. she forged a doctor’s signature, which might be able to be tried under some sort of identity theft laws? sounds like legal grasping for something that doesn’t fall under anything specific. Maybe she can get excused for medical reasons, she must have a note around here somewhere…


whenever I hear a story like this I like to do the math:
$20 x 14 = 280 / 5 years = $56 per year in prison.

as opposed to Bernie Madoff:

Prosecutors estimated the fraud to be worth $64.8 billion based on the amounts in the accounts of Madoff’s 4,800 clients

maximum sentence of 150 years in federal prison

$64.8 billion / 150 years = $432,000,000 per year, if you don’t account for the fact that he will be dead before his sentence is up.

So, she would have had to sell 21,600,000 fake Dr notes to have the same risk/reward as Bernie M.

That’s a lot of “sick” kids.


LOL! Seeing that pic reminds me of watching that show as a kid and listening to my older sister constantly talk about how dreamy Juan Epstein was.


This seems more like a 16 year old’s grift, not someone approaching retirement!


It’s surprising that the students would waste money on something they could easily make themselves given the endless free templates available online!

kids these days probably understand the benefits of outsourcing your risk


Her court-appointed attorney will argue that the thought of pocketing $280 sizzled her brain.


This may truly qualify:


Hey guys, she’s 52, which means she’s not “approaching retirement” any faster than the average speed. But it does also mean that she’s approaching that magical time of life when a woman’s body changes (yet again) in ways that can have appreciable cognitive impact. And I sure hope her court-appointed attorney takes that line.


This post fills me with the nostalgia feels.

ETA: Sitcoms really took a hit in dramatic quality when the location moved from New York to California.


This is what you get when you don’t teach kids cursive.


Prison?! It’s a big enough waste of resources arresting the dumbass.


community service would be more appropriate, maybe one day for every day of school missed?

that is if that is all there is to this story. i’d be checking with the local, and community adjacent pharmacies for bogus scripts as well as inquiring a bit deeper her connection to this kids and how this started and they found out about it, etc. just in case. my scooby senses tell me there might be more to the story.


Also, I’m guessing that the kids who are playing hooky may not be the school’s best and brightest…

52 is that sweet spot where you’re more than ten years out from being an over-40 diversity hire, but you’re also more than ten years from retirement. Assuming you plan on retiring at 65, instead of working until you’re dead (yay late stage capitalism!) So, she’s probably been in the workforce 35 years or so, with 20 or so more to go.

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Already wearing Orange without formal conviction seems heavy handed considering the degree of the charge. Promise to appear and released would seem appropriate.

It’s that Hapsburg jaw again. There was a post on another thread that mentioned Charles II of Spain, so I googled (small ‘g’ for the verb, right?) and blow me if them Hapsburgers didn’t all have chins like Mark Zuckerberg. And here’s another one.

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