Workers bring the snark on bad stock photos of their jobs

Relevant to my work i looked up Contract Stock Photos and found this:

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Wow contracting is way more intense than I imagined

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You wouldn’t believe the number of people i’ve had to decapitate or disembowel. Need a new sword, there’s a reason i’m flying to Japan this Friday*

*I am actually am tho lol. Just not for a sword.

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I’m sure that’ll make your customs declarations much less interesting on the way back. Just don’t take the complimentary apples.

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I had this happen, sort of, when i visited Sweden. On my way back i was offered bottled water on the plane. When going through customs i was reprimanded for having water in my luggage… that the airline gave me. Thankfully i wasn’t given too much grief over it but i recall finding the situation really stupid.

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You’re lucky, never forget it could’ve been a $500 reprimand

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Apparently there aren’t a lot of poorly contrived biologist stock photos. This was the best/worst I could find.

image

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Yeh i recall that bit of news, i imagine the customs worker must’ve been having a bad day and maybe the lady gave them attitude? Sometimes shit like this happens to certain people for a reason, the guy that chided me wasn’t much of a dick about me having the water and i have totally forgotten i even had it.

Also going through security later i also forgot i had the card game “Exploding Kittens” in my luggage, which was also found by a TSA screener and i profusely apologized for it. I think the main reason she didn’t make an issue out of it was because i had some other odd stuff in my luggage like toilet candy (seriously)

After the initial confusion with the cards she seemed more amused than anything.

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My monitor is bitblting cloud all over the place!

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You have weird luggage.

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I am torn…

This one is awful, because I have never coded while sitting on the side of an abandoned highway. Not very ergonomic.

on the other hand while I bad image in many ways…this is exactly how I have often felt!!!

images

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Just you wait when i get back from Japan this time around

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“Ok, ok, clause 13.3 can stay as it is! Hereinbefore is really so much clearer than earlier.”

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This one is also weird

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I saw one I felt that way about. The trend almost needs an offshoot of “stock photos that actually represent how I feel about my job.”

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What’s this stuff prominently displayed on my desk, you ask?

Well, you see I put your file on one side of the scales and you keep piling $100 bills on the other until it balances.

The giant gavel? Well, let’s just say that as long as you keep piling on those bills fast enough, you don’t need to worry about it.

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Went to site, got automatic redirect to spam site. Goddamnit.

I will agree that a thumbs up after a pelvic exam is in the creapy category, but at least it’s not an ‘OK’ sign?

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