After passenger told U.S. Customs agent that her suitcase once held a smashed banana, she was detained and added to a watch list

Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2020/02/25/after-passenger-told-u-s-cus.html

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But just look at it!

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Yeah, that story is bullshit.

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Here on BB, killing a banana is a serious offense.

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The clear lesson here is: lie to bureaucrats, tell them what they want to hear. If caught, claim ignorance (‘is that what you meant? I didn’t understand’) or forgetfulness (‘oh, I forgot that was there’).

…because that’s what we want to teach people, right?

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The lesson is: Never volunteer information to the authorities. Answer a direct question if you must. Then stop talking.

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If only the smell was that of banapple gas, the CPB agent would have behaved much more amiably!

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Given the extreme dangers of the Fusarium fungus to banana plantations, and the danger of it spreading to the Americas, the story is absolutely believable.

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“smashed banana” is code in Murica for [whatever they are afraid of].

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Readers Digest?

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What about it? If Limbaugh or Hannity reads something verbatim from the front page of the New York Times, that doesn’t automatically make it wrong.

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I had a run in at SeaTac with one of those fuckers. It was just days after the African bombings that brought Al Queda into the forefront so Security was heightened understandably. We were returning from Heathrow and while waiting for customs et al a Aggie dog and its handler came sniffing by our bags as they do. We had our 4 Y/o daughter with us after like a 9 hour flight and we said something to the effect to let the doggie sniff our bags and the bitch handler said something to the effect that “That is what guilty people say” We showed her our crackers and she went about her business but that encounter stuck with me. There is absolutely no reason to be an asshole like that.

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I have no problem with them being aggressive about hunting fruit. This appears to be totally retaliatory, though.

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Who knew they could read?

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I agree that the watch list may have been overboard, but her statement about having removed a banana from her suitcase (but not when) and making excuses for a banana smell, does necessitate an inspection, and those typically just aren’t done on the spot.

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Sure believable for a number of reasons, but declining to state what was going on as opposed to the customs agent telling her Fusarium fungus is a major problem and they needed to check the luggage didn’t help US Customs do their job in any way, and has now hurt it because anyone who reads this article is more likely to not mention any fruit their luggage has come into contact with, but strictly limit responses to no if no fruit is in it currently.

Adding them to the watch list likewise wasn’t likely to help anything. She isn’t in a line of work that makes smashed bananas any more likely in her luggage then in anyone else’s. Again it adds more reasons for anyone who reads this article to interpret any customs questions more narrowly which makes the job harder for all customs agents.

It is still believable because many people don’t prioritize long term goals. Short term it might have been fun to worry someone. Especially if they have been at all annoying. Or remind the agent of an ex-girlfriend or something. Short term adding names to the “suspected of bad behavior, search!” list may make them eligible for a bonus. Or it could be more vindictive behavior either in retaliation to a minor or even imagined slight.

I’ve treated other people badly because I have a headache. So totally believable. Fortunately I don’t have a job position where that really does much (plus I recognize it as bad behavior, and now that I have recognized it attempt to abstain from it)

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Everything…they’re afraid of everything; except the stuff they should be afraid of because they haven’t thought of it yet. Hence why nobody’s shoes were being checked by TSA until a failed attempt at a shoe bomb.

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I did something similar when stopped in US customs by the beagle brigade, told the officer I had brought fruit that I ate on the airplane so the dog was right in pointing me out. We exchanged a few words, I don’t remember if he even opened my backpack, and then it was over. We only read about those who have bad experiences, not those for whom telling the truth works out fine and make it simpler for everyone.

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Proving the system works and creates jobs.