Great article. It nailed one of the key weird things about cancer. You don’t get closure. Ever. It’s been 40 years since mine, and sure, it’s “gone”. It’ll never be GONE without the quote marks. There is a doubt that creeps in, over and above the natural baseline doubt about the permanency of life. That uncertainty hits you square in the face every day, a direct result of the way cancer plays out, even cancer in the distant past. The effect is there is a different kind of stress on cancer people. We just react to the way things go in life differently than most people who go about their day. Some of us deal with it gracefully, some don’t deal, some deal ok, but ALL of us have it. I’ll just leave it here and not go too far off the deep end about this other than to say it’s real and the article resonated with me because of it.
That bit about the ocean is a stunner.
We love you, Xeni!
Hear, hear! It’s a great article, and your openness and willingness to talk about difficult topics have impressed me no end.
I just want to add my voice to those many thanking you for your continuing display of class and courage. I hope you know how much comfort they bring to others on the same journey. Good luck to you, Xeni!
For my mom and mother-in-law the cancer they have is no longer a death sentence, although to them it seemed like it, because for most of their lives it was. My mothers’ cancers were nowhere near as invasive as yours, but it was still scary for them. It used to be something that was difficult to talk about, but your willingness to have a very public discussion helps your readers to be prepared to give their support and love to those who need it. So when my Mom was diagnosed a month ago, I was prepared to help her. Next week she undergoes radiation treatment, and the week after that my family will be home with her. Your story will be one of many about survival and strength that will help her. May your health continue to improve, your reporting be as important as ever, and thanks.
This is the first time i had herd that she had recovered, while i know that cancer is not a binary state, i am glad she isnt so worried about her immediate future as she was.
long may she continue to boing.
I’ve always been a big fan of Xeni across lots of social media, and have followed this cancer journey from the very first tweet. During that time, my mom was diagnosed with cancer (in January 2013) and has since been deemed “cancer free” after surgery and chemotherapy. Needless to say, it was a long journey of uncertainty for my family - like being in uncharted waters. But I was already armed with tons of knowledge because Xeni had been so forthright about her experience that it provided me with a map of the territory. Xeni, if you’re reading this, I want you to know how specifically you helped me and to thank you very very much for sharing so much of what you could have kept private. You’re a remarkable person.
It is so true that it doesn’t end. As I and some of my friends tell each other, “I’ll know breast cancer won’t kill me on the day I get hit by a bus instead.”
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