Your allergies are bad because of tree sexism

Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2020/07/09/your-allergies-are-bad-because.html

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I recently did some landscaping (because home for three months and looking at the yard 24/7 things had to change) and added some ornamental grasses. Seemed like a good idea, a fresh look, grows well in clay soil we have here…

…then came the sneezing, the wheezing, the itchy eyes. Grass has to go now.

Thinking that trees will be going in now and will be paying attention to their sex.

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“…as every day I woke up with a scratchy throat or runny nose I immediately assumed the worst.”

Oh, yes, that super fun game “Pollen or Plague?”.

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TIL that trees have sexes. I thought they all produced pollen and all produced seeds.

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I thought it was “Allergy or Apocalypse” but it’s probably a regional mod.

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Clover is good if you don’t want a huge water bill and something that’s soft to walk on barefoot.

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it sure is a mess to get off your car if you have to park under an active tree.

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Tree__timber__pollen

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Don’t know if it’s the same here in Blighty but my burning/sneezing/wheezing/“sprayed with mace” fun kicks off in early March & goes on to October. The Girl Genius has it year round. Flora & fungi are at it more than we are.

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Do we not have rules about posting that sort of blatant sexual content on the BBS? :thinking:

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I identify as a female ginkgo. Gwyneth Paltrow is going to bottle my fragrance.

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Jade bottles or GTFO.

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For example, when a lady gingko tree is in heat,

It’s stuff like this that makes me realize I never really learned about the “birds and the bees”

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Or, in this case, the flowers and the trees.

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I took to calling it the Bukkake Season, since that’s what the trees are doing to my car. >.<

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As usual in biology, it depends on the species. Some trees do indeed produce both (this is common for conifers). Plant sexuality is complex and varied. See all the terms in the “terminology” section of https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Plant_reproductive_morphology

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Pollen is not the only thing. One of the our trees drops three inch strings of some sort with sticky yellow things that foul up the windscreen wipers. I should get one of those covers car fanciers use.

Then there are the birds.

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So you do know how to sex a chicken?

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Romancing humans is difficult enough.

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