Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2019/06/19/little-league-parents-dont-l.html
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Update: Jesus actually showed up, but they beat the fuck outta him too. C’mon, “Children, come on to me.”? Yeah, fucking hippy deserved it.
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So let me get this straight…God let’s hurricanes, floods, fires, war, famine, pestilence all ravage the planet at various times. He sits by while children are murdered and innocents slaughtered at the end of guns, rape and sexual assault go on unchecked. He lifts not a finger when politicians and wealthy elites do nothing to help the poor, in-firmed, and the least of us most in need.
But ya know…a couple hot headed fuck wads start throwing hay makers at one another during a little league game…yup, he’s showin’ up and setting things straight!!!
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I guess that, at least they didn’t beat up the umpire… um… there is that.
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I know a lady who is cousins with one of these parents , and here’s what happened to spark this: After one of the teams scored a run, one of the parents made a joke about it being a good thing that numbers were just constructions of abstract thought. He knew this would get under the skin of another group of parents who are ardent believers in Plato’s position that numbers were “real” in an absolute sense and, predictably, they fire back with a bunch of hooting about how the first guy and his friends were being overly formalistic and that numbers didn’t just describe relationships between points or sets, but existed in a fundamental if not tangible way.
Of course, then the whole thing turned into a shitshow when one of them (the lady I know wasn’t sure who, but probably the guy in teal shorts who smacked that guy from behind) start yelling about how all these discussions just end up in ontological arguments that can only end in existential nihilism, and the shit was on.
Typical little league nonsense.
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Seemed pretty evenly divided, white people vs POC, too.
Police say they’re hoping for tips on the identity of the man in the video wearing teal shorts, because he’s suspected of sucker-punching multiple people during the fight.
Police: “Aaaaaand we’re just going to ignore the sneak attacks by the blonde asshole in the black halter top, because you know…”
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I am really surprised that I was not beat to this
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That took quite a turn.
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Peak America.
/chef’s kiss
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I’m sure there are several among you that have children that participate in school or club sports. Overly-emotionally invested parents are the ABSOLUTE WORST PART of childrens’ sports.
Umpires and referees, I’m sure, are not paid nearly enough for the constant second guessing and harassment they endure at every game. I note with interest that banners hang in gyms and sports fields outlining proper behavior. Most everyone ignores it.
The fact that adults ruin these activities for children, and model such poor behavior makes me despair.
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Umm, it wasn’t quite the level of the Greece vs Germany sketch.
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lead poisoning…
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“Visit parent in jail” should be on every well-adjusted kid’s bucket list.
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OK people, I know you want to teach your kids how they do it in the big leagues, but “basebrawls” (also know as a “rhubarb” for reasons lost to history and alcohol) are supposed to be reserved for the players, and usually when a batter gets plunked. The kids ain’t gonna learn unless you let them do it themselves.
(/s)
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I know several people that “pray” for the stupidest shit. Same folks will also “thank the lord” when really basic shit happens, like buying a house.
“Oh my heavens! Thanks be to the Almighty that my good friends the Smiths are now beholden to Bank of America for zillions. Hallelujah!”
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So much America in that video
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You sir or madam win one internet today. Well played.
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This is without doubt the best comment i’ve ever read! 
Where can i subscribe to your newsletter?
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This was not New Jersey! With all those baseball bats just begging to be used, come on now, I ask you!
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None of these snowflakes had guns? Are we sure this was in the U.S.?
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