Quirky throws back a bracing quaff of Stiff Stiffy’s Stiffy-Stiffening Stiffy Stiffener, and lurches onto the corner stage at Duck’s Pond. Here he’d seen Pinch Wilson, the space lobster comic, absolutely murder a crowd of hecklers with salty one-liners. Here he’d seen folk bonkist Drum Johnson try out new tunes well before anybody conceived that bonking would be considered a form of popular music. Here he’d heard Pastor-Tron 500 preach to the flock about the evils of drink, seconds before Duck pulled his plug and re-orged him into a WaiterBot. Now it was Quirky’s turn.
Quirky: “Captains! Merchants! Under-pruh-nurz! Boy hasss Quirky Kumquat got a deal for you! “
Quirky flicks his tail to hit the Electro-Presenterizer ™. “I won’t look back,” he promises himself. “I’m sure the crew took those dirty turtle pictures off the slide.”
Quirky: “ YOUR StarBits plus MY ship plus one of the grittiest captains in all of Gritdom equals OPPORTUNIPROFIT! With things the way they are, and I’m telling you folks, they’re exactly like that, you can’t afford NOT to offer me some of those useless StarBits, when they could be MAKING you money, instead of hanging out in your pockets with tribble lint and parking tickets. Be the first on your block to say, ‘Here, Quirky, have some StarBits! ‘”
Quirky catches Nilah’s eye as she walks in. Son-of-a…
Quirky: "Ssssssrsly, a stake of 100 StarBits would get us underwear… um, under way… Thanksss for your times. Ssssss! Thhhhhh!”
