Badass Space Dragon - Round 4 - Kill Don Mondo

HOLY FLURKING sSCHNITT! Am I a lucky litle lizard or what?! I think sSome repairssssss might be in order.

Quisquiliae sStruem


sStarting Cash: $25200

Hull Repairs * 92: $10120, +92 HP (almost as good as new. The fuzzy dice even have a new bit of string)
Deflecto Coating * 2: $6400, +4 SH (ooooh sShinyyyyy)
Double Mint Gun: $2000, +2 FP (PEW PEW!)
Bits and Pieces * 2: $1600, +2 EN (OOH! A new antimatter to cotton candy converter!)
Homing Missiles * 3: $3600, +3 FP (ZOOM!)
Cat Food * 10: $300 (OMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOM)

Mission 1: $0, +4 FP, +4 SH, +4 EN, +4 ST (I get dibs on mondo’s hat!)

Total Spend: $24020

sShip sStats:
HP: 100/100
FP: 25
SH: 28
EN: 20
ST: 24
LK: 19
Cash: $1180
Hat: None
Grit: 9

1 Like

The Patty made it back to base for refits. A little dinged up, but we saw that bounty hunter off. We don’t need that kind of scum.

Starting Cash: $25000

Hull Repairs: 35 X 110 = (3850)
1 cask of Moonshine = (8000)
Bits & Pieces x 5 = (4000)
Double Mint Gun x 2 = (4000)
Hull Density Adjustment x 5 = (2600)
Flak Burst x 2 = (2400)
Pre-emptive Bouquet purchase for fallen colleagues x 2 = (80)
2 tins of catfood for snacking on during the butchery = (60)

$10 left over. I’ll make a bet at the turf accountants on Mondo to survive. Hope I get good odds.

No need for a coffin, I can’t imagine any I’d prefer over the cockpit of the Patty. If I’m going out, it’s sitting the captain’s chair.

Remaining : 0

Mission 2: Disrupt the Coalition

We lizards need to stand together. As a legitimate businesslizard, I for one am sick of big government stifling free enterprise and entrepreneurship. We need to throw off the yoke of the oppressor. Too long have we been controlled from far-off Terra. What do they know of our problems, what do they care? I’ve got my ass shot up by pirates all through this Sector, what did the I.C.U.P ever do about that? They’re too busy gouging space-speeders for fat fines to spend time catching proper criminals.

I stand with Mondo. I suspect that we are going to our death, but that’s no reason to quit. We Lizards didn’t get where we are today by quitting. It’s like I was saying to Kss’nger the other day: Defeat doesn’t finish a lizard, quit does. A lizard is not finished when he’s defeated. He’s finished when he quits. We’ll patch up the screens as best we can, fire up the ultra-wave and take on the cream of the I.C.U.P.

If this is to be our Watergate, we’ll go out in a blaze of glory. History will be listening, and I’ll be recording.

6 Likes

click to animate and embiggen

Ship Name - Ironclad Cochrane

Store - 52x Hull Repairs 				$5200	@Pete's
Mission 1 - Kill Don Mondo 				$0	@I.C.U.P.
_____________________________________________________________
Total							$5200	

So we really got the amnesty…
Only to be sent on a suicide mission with 89% hull integrity.
Should have known.

We’ll prove them wrong, we’ll survive this.

2 Likes

It was sooo close. I thought you were toast. Well done!

Thousands of years ago the proudest boast was “civis Romanus sum.” Today, in the world of freedom, the proudest boast is “Ich bin ein Charybdian.”

Mondo Prevails!

1 Like

Let’s work together

As I have said from the first day, “self-interested cooperation is the basis for all success.”

Today is all about working together. Not profit , but for survival. If we focus on survival – for all of us – we will not only survive, we’ll have Charybdis for our selves, free of both Don Mondo’s chiseling and Coalition meddling. A New Era of Freedom begins today, if we work together. The profits should be spectacular.

The Analysis:

To have an almost even chance of success, Mission 1 “Kill Don Mondo” needs 8-10 ships (8x15 = 120 FP, or 10x100 = 1000 HP). Likewise, Disrupting the coalition requires a minimum of 10-12 ships, ( 8 x15 = 120 FP, or 12x100 = 1200 hp) .

As a trader, I don’t like “almost even chance of success”. But notice: 24 ships had active missions yesterday, and two more have been active recently. If we organize, we can, collectively, execute both missions successfully. If we all pile onto the same mission, we all skate through the day easily. The few stragglers that don’t go with the pack get obliterated. However, that means either Don Mondo now has an unfettered hand to squeeze independent operators like us, or the Coalition, with it’s laws, taxes, and lawyers are running Charybdis. Does that sound good for profits?

Proposal

Today we discuss which of three plans to pursue. Once a consensus emerges, then we each choose our missions. If you absolutely can’t wait until Saturday and must commit earlier, I suggest you sign up for the same mission that is already gathering names – for your own survival.

Plan 1 - Don’t Tread On Us

15 ships against the coalition, 11 ships against Don Mondo. Because of the bonus, the ships with lower fighting stats should prefer the Don Mondo fight. Most of us, perhaps all of us, come through, and we become the loose coalition that calls the shots in Charybdis. True independence dawns - for Badass Space Traders with Grit.

Plan 2 - Down with the Lawyers

We all go against coalition. With two dozen ships, this should be straightforward, with few losses. We live to fight another day – for Don Mondo

Plan 3 - Sucking up to The Man

We all go against the Don Mondo. Everyone’s ship gets stronger, so no one really gains much. And the Coalition – and it’s regulations — extends it strangling tentacles to every corner of Charybdis. May look tolerable, but the first round of taxes always does.

Plan 4 - Disorganized Dumbfucks

No real co-ordination. A dozen-and-half ships have a straightforward mission, where no one really gains much but damage. A sickening number of good ships, with good crews, die pointlessly. The survivors make a great movie about those poor bastards and call it Gallipoli

I will be monitoring all my comms channels, encrypted and open, for the next day and half, and will commit on saturday afternoon.

To quote the ancient voice, “We must, indeed, all pew-pew together or, most assuredly, we shall all get pew-pewed separately.” (or something like that – my 'droid translator is unclear about the Old Anglic word “Hang.” )

4 Likes

Three have already committed:

Mission 1 - Kill Don Mondo

Q. sStreum
Ironclad Cochrance

Mission 2 - Disrupt the Coaltion

P. Patty

So plans 1 and 4 are still goers? :wink:

I’m happy to sacrifice myself for the greater good and the dream of free Charybdia.

Don’t tread on us!

Also - you may want to watch your transmissions - I think there’s at least one Marshall monitoring these frequencies.

1 Like

If nobody else joins me, I have my battle plan:

Kss’Nger has been working on something called “Death Blossom”.

1 Like

“Only those who die see the end of war.”
“Our path is set”

1 Like

Hmm. I’m going to have to think about this.

During the meanwhile I’m going to get my hull fixed up to 100%

Whilst Pete’s welding bots fix up the ship, I think I’m going to open that jug of Rot Gut.

Swigs from Jug. Winces & shudders

(-$5720 Leaving me $18,430)

Also - you may want to watch your transmissions - I think there’s at
least one Marshall monitoring these frequencies.

Just how committed to the ICUP do you think the Ironclad Cochrane captain is? The ICUP sent him a suicide mission, I sent him a case of [Sena 2001][1].

Don’t forget that Space Lizards bond more to their clan than to their ship. The clans spread their broods across many ships because they approach informational efficiency and risk control with cold blooded calculation. These discussions are reaching Don Mondo’s earholes, too.

Listening is for the passive, for those who don’t write their own fate. Today, we decide. The biggest forces in Charybdis wait, listening, helpless, while we decide what tomorrow will bring.

-David Falkayn, Muddlin’ Through

[1]: Viña Seña - Wikipedia

2 Likes

Zhe Shadow Pacifist

  • 1x Double Mint Gun - $2,000
  • 2x Flak Bursts - $4,000
  • 2x Bit and Pieces - $1,600
  • 4x Nightshade - $4,800

Mission #1 - Kill Don Mondo

Man, I’m telling you, I got a bad feeling about this drop.

 Stardate 4
 Jewel of the Desert
 Captain's Log
    
I am receiving some unsavory looks from the human customers in the space parking lot. Perhaps they do not approve of my new paint scheme, a disguise as a Badass Flying Space Lizard, an expression of loyalty to the Space Lizards. Actually, I merely owe Captain Sssskipper a favor for the lovely Organ Replicator he sent over (which I have not had time to install yet).

I am unable to inscribe a complete captain's log at this time. It takes too long to write so that it looks like computer text with this space eagle quill pen, and I do not wish to give any space hooligans the opportunity to slash my tires sitting here in the space parking garage. I just had a lot of work done.

I am awaiting calculation results from the ship's computer before deciding on a mission. I may as well file my shopping expense report, however. 

------------------------------------------------------
Init. Balance					$14200
------------------------------------------------------
Receipt - Scrapyard Pete's
Hull Repairs 	56 @ $110 		$6160	
Double Mint Gun	2 @ $2000		$4000
Bits and Pieces	1 @ $800		$800	

Total					$10960

Receipt - Ella's Backwater Botique
Flak Bursts	3 @ $1000		$3000
Flowers		1 @ $40			$40
Cat Food	1 @ $30			$30

Total					$3070

Shopping Total				$14030
------------------------------------------------------
Balance						$170
------------------------------------------------------

“Don’t fire until you see the whites of their parietal eyes!” ~ Lenar Belox, Android Space-Submariner

Followed by “And then fire a lot. Like, until they’re dead. I guess what I’m trying to say is, shoot them fatally multiple times in the face.”

$1,980 - 18 Hull Repairs
$12,000 - 10 Flak Bursts
$0 - Mission 1: Kill Don Mondo

13,980 - Total


2 Likes

Jewel of the Desert
Intelligence/Maintenance Subroutine Mulder, Personal Log

I met with David Falkayn, Space Trader in a space parking garage (don't ask how a computer subroutine can accomplish this... needless to say, though, it involves trenchcoats) to discuss the future of the sector.

He suggested forming a vast conspiracy to overthrow all ruling interests in the sector. We artificial life forms aboard the Jewel of the Desert are friends of the Space Lizards, and under normal circumstances would get behind Don Mondo's crusade against the I.C.U.P. - which is what I'm going to suggest to the captain (he wants a report on his desk by tomorrow or it's my ass - I should have told him to bite my ass, but I always think of comebacks too late).

However, I also support the ousting of Don Mondo and creation of a true free space trade zone - with no small amount of governing influence coming from me, of course. I will be monitoring all space communications, and hope to hear plenty of Space Lizard support for ousting both the I.C.U.P. and Don Mondo (Plan 1). I will suggest joining Mission 2 in my report to the captain tomorrow.

Hello? Captain Nixon… Ahoy! Hello? Is thissss thing on, Gilligan? It’sss damned itchy, if it doesn’t work I’ll… ahem. Ahoy, Captain Nixon! Greetingsss and sssssalutationss. This is Captain Ssssskipper, I.M.V. Flatulent Deity hailing via ssssecure channel. Yesss, abssolutely sssecure. On my lassst visit to Ella’s Backwater Boutique I sorted through the Gewgaw pile and selected a gently-used Arcturan Cone of Sssilence. It fitsss poorly, and the inssstruction manual was misssing a couple of pagesss, but Lt. Gilligan asssures me it ssstill ecryptsss, decryptsss, and ssssecurely transsmitss ssssenssitive information without fear of eavesssdroppers.

And that’sss good, because I think you may be the only member of our fleet I can trussst these daysss. I’d like to be able to sssay I knew your father well during his merchant marine career, but sssince we both know our speciesss is hermaphroditic, allergic to liquid water, and notorioussssly indifferent to filial relationshipsss (not to mention the fact that you are, by my bessst esstimate, ssome fifteen ssstandard yearsss older than I am), I will cut to the chassse and ssimply refer to you as Fellow Reptiloid.

I’m in! It’sss true that we lizardsss mussst hang together. Don Mondo may be a wormy, scaleless, begilled amphibian posing as a proud Space Lizard (he even forgetsss our ssspecies’ antipathy to water, the old fraud!), but hiss heart beatsss with the sssame three chamberss as my own… the arhythmic triple beat of Commerce, Liberty, and… and… uh… Low Horssseflesh Tariffs (I think it was).

Ssscrew the I.C.U.P.! Don Mondo’s waysss, while a touch hydrophilic, are the bessst wayss forward for Charybdissss!

Oh, and pleassse don’t mention any of thisss to the Don. He’s awfully insssecure about those gillsss, they’re kind of a family sssecret, and I’d hate for it to get out and sssomehow get back to him. Lucky thisss channel is sssecure, right?

My bessst to Pat and the girlsss.

2 Likes

Sssseldon! Ahoy, Captain Paul Sssseldon of the Ironclad Cochrane! Thisss is Captain Ssssskipper of the I.M.V. Flatulent Deity, hailing you via ssssecure channel. I repeat, this is Captain Ssssskipper, I.M.V. Flatulent Deity hailing via ssssecure channel. Yesss, abssolutely sssecure. On my lassst visit to Ella’s Backwater Boutique I sorted through the Gewgaw pile and selected a gently-used Arcturan Cone of Sssilence. It fitsss poorly, and the inssstruction manual was misssing a couple of pagesss, but Lt. Gilligan asssures me it ssstill ecryptsss, decryptsss, and ssssecurely transsmitss ssssenssitive information without fear of eavesssdroppers.

And with good reassson! Never mind that calumny about Sssspace Lizardsss cleaving only to their clan affiliationss! A good businesssslizard recognizesss good businesss where it ssssees it, and as far as my businessss interestssss are concerned, Don Mondo has got to go! I hope you keep thisss privileged information between us, but I have it on good authority that the Don is a closet amphibian, gills and all, and while he sssitss sso comfortably on that lily pad he would have usss call The Badassss Sssspace Dragon, ordering usss about the galaxy and expecting usss to jump at every flick of his susssspiciously webbed fingersss and sssstyling himssself President of the Charybdian Galaxy, we’re the onesss doing all his dirty work for him! I wouldn’t call myssself the most loyal and reliable I.C.U.P. taxpayer, but their governance and infrastructure givess usss a commercial stability that is not to be sssneezed at, insssofar as it providesss fat commercial convoysss ripe for the picking by independent operatorsss ssuch as ourssselvess.

Ssso, keep it under your helmet, but the Deity has your back in the fight againsssst Don Mondo! I don’t want the I.C.U.P. to know at thisss stage (it might prove inconvenient to me, as I ssstill have a few holdingsss that might blow up in my face were Don Mondo or the I.C.U.P Tax Authority to prematurely catch wind of them), but when the time is right, I plan to go public with all gunssss blazing!

My kindessst regards to your grandfather Hari.

1 Like

The strike against Don Mondo is building, but we need more strong ships to Disrupt the Coalition. The Space Lizards have the right idea, but there simply not enough of them for them to pull this off by themselves. We need more teamwork – which is supposed to be a Human strength . Tactically, we are also going to need some Androids, whether or not they like to work on a team.

The situation as of 5 PM pst, Firday.

Mission 1 - Kill Don Mondo ( looking for 10)

committed:
Q. sStreum
Ironclad Cochrance
Das Boot

Mission 2 - Disrupt the Coalition ( looking for 12)

committed:
P. Patty

Considering:
Jewel of the Desert
I.M.V. Flatulent Deity
Muddlin’ Through