Badass Space Dragon - Round 5 - The Rift


#1

Results

**BEGIN: I.C.U.P. BULLETIN**
The Coalition has killed the intergalactic terrorist, Don Mondo, removing from space, one of the greatest threats to our freedom. Yet, this day of joy will always be tinged with melancholy, a crisp sorrow for those whose lives were lost in pursuit of this reckless criminal mastermind.
We fire the cannons and sound the drums for the following captains who were lost today.
  • Captain Ginni of the **Aquasar** - Collateral Damage
  • Captain Faltermeyer of the **Beyond Infinity** - Collateral Damage
  • Captain Beefheart of the **Bongo Fury** - Lost in Battle
  • Captain Marvin of the **Heart of Gold** - Collateral Damage
  • Captain Spiegel of the **Swordfish** - Collateral Damage
Your memory will live on, downloaded to a massive meatless memory storage device.
**END: I.C.U.P. BULLETIN**
**Ship** **HP** **FP** **SH** **EN** **ST** **LK** **CASH** **HAT** **GRIT**
Aluminum Mallard 56/100 20 19 18 15 35 $22330 NONE 19

A belly full of Moonshine and ship with functional landing gear. Couldn't ask for much more.

**-$8690, +79 HP** | Hull Repairs
**+10 GRIT** | Standing Strong for Charybdis
**-44 HP** | Battle Damage, 3 Torpedos, 3 Lasers
**+2 ST, +1 FP** | Salvage
**+15 LK** | Mission Success!! A cask of aged Moonshine and as much Rot-Gut as you can stow.
**Ship** **HP** **FP** **SH** **EN** **ST** **LK** **CASH** **HAT** **GRIT**
Bongo Fury -55/108 28 18 18 20 17 $50514 NONE 7

In the great battle against Don Mondo, Captain Beefheart of the Bongo Fury fell.

His full mission payment will be transferred to his hatchlings, minus any government fees or outstanding coalition debts.

**-$4180, +38 HP** | Hull Repairs
**-$2080, +4 MAX HP** | Hull Denisty Adjustment
**+4 FP, +4 SH, +4 EN, +4 ST** | I.C.U.P. Upgrades
**-163 HP** | Battle Damage, 3 Mondo Cannons, 9 Laser Showers
**+$40,000** | Don Mondo Mission Bounty

**~ QUITE DEAD ~**
**Ship** **HP** **FP** **SH** **EN** **ST** **LK** **CASH** **HAT** **GRIT**
Burnt Asbestos 43/100 14 15 13 14 16 $8424 NONE 3

**No Action Today** | -5 GRIT
**Ship** **HP** **FP** **SH** **EN** **ST** **LK** **CASH** **HAT** **GRIT**
Cepheus Maiden 68/111 22 21 21 25 43 $10 Electro-Fedora 21

What a lucky day! The coalition bounced off your deflecto coat and you've got two casks of Moonshine to enhance the passing of CPU cycles. Also, may I say, you look like a complete badass in your electro-fedora.

**-$10,000, +2 GRIT** | Hat
**-$8000, +10 LK** | Moonshine
**-$2420, +22 HP** | Hull Repairs
**-$1600, +2 EN** | Bits and Pieces
**-$3200, +2 SH** | Deflecto Coating
**-$2000, +2 FP** | Double Mint Gun
**-$5720, +11 MAX HP** | Hull Denisty Adjustment
**+10 GRIT** | Standing Strong for Charybdis
**-43 HP** | Battle Damage, 2 Torpedos, 3 Lasers
**+3 ST, 1 SH** | Salvage
**+15 LK** | Mission Success!! A cask of aged Moonshine and as much Rot-Gut as you can stow.
**Ship** **HP** **FP** **SH** **EN** **ST** **LK** **CASH** **HAT** **GRIT**
Cobra II 49/102 22 29 25 26 40 $130 Greasy Ball Cap 13

Commander Jameson takes the I.C.U.P. upgrades and, instead of taking stab at Don Mondo, he joins in the ambush of the Coalition forces. He stabs them in the back with their own pointy lasers.

Only incredbile luck has allowed him to survive this tactic. These kind of ballsy decisions are rarely rewarded but, when they work out, it's glorious.

He wears a greasy ball cap. A statement that he's no hatless fool, not one to be trifled with.

**-$5720, +52 HP** | Hull Repairs
**-$8000, +10 LK** | Moonshine
**-$300** | 1 x Cask Rot-Gut
**-$10,000, +2 GRIT** | Hat
**+4 FP, +4 SH, +4 EN, +4 ST** | I.C.U.P. Upgrades
**+1 GRIT, -1 ST** | Volume to 11
**-53 HP** | Battle Damage, 1 Torpedos, 6 Lasers
**+2 SH, +1 ST** | Salvage
**+15 LK** | Mission Success!! A cask of aged Moonshine and as much Rot-Gut as you can stow.
**Backstabber**
**Ship** **HP** **FP** **SH** **EN** **ST** **LK** **CASH** **HAT** **GRIT**
Das Boot 74/100 29 38 27 25 22 $40030 NONE 11

You didn't finish him but you rocked Don Mondo's ship with a hell of a shot from your tactical lizard lasers. You also dodged a major bullet from the Mondo Cannon and managed to escape the battle with the least amount of damage. Nice!

**-$1980, +18 HP** | Hull Repairs
**-$12000, +10 SH** | Flak Bursts
**+4 FP, +4 SH, +4 EN, +4 ST** | I.C.U.P. Upgrades
**+1 FP** | Tactical Lizard Laser
**-26 HP** | Battle Damage, 0 Mondo Cannons, 5 Laser Showers
**+4 FP, +1 ST** | Salvage
**+$40,000** | Don Mondo Mission Bounty
**+1 GRIT** | Lucky.. ermm. I mean skillful dodge.
**+1 GRIT** | Critical Strike
**Ship** **HP** **FP** **SH** **EN** **ST** **LK** **CASH** **HAT** **GRIT**
Dracarys 11/111 38 30 27 17 21 $40000 NONE 10

That was close. Good thing you splurged on those Hull Density upgrades!

**-$2640, +24 HP** | Hull Repairs
**-$3120, +6 MAX HP** | Hull Denisty Adjustment
**-$10000, +10 FP** | 5 x Double Mint Gun
**-$2400, +3 EN** | 3 x Bits and Pieces
**-$50** | 1 x Jug Rot-Gut
**-$6000, +5 SH** | 5 x Flak Bursts
**-$12** | Space Pop Tithe
**+4 FP, +4 SH, +4 EN, +4 ST** | I.C.U.P. Upgrades
**+1 LK** | Rare Don Mondo Holo-Composite
**-100 HP** | Battle Damage, 2 Mondo Cannons, 8 Laser Showers
**+3 FP, +2 LK** | Salvage
**+$40,000** | Don Mondo Mission Bounty
**Ship** **HP** **FP** **SH** **EN** **ST** **LK** **CASH** **HAT** **GRIT**
Dubdub 55/100 18 15 21 16 51 $2370 NONE 20

You one-shot a coalition fighter, dodged a torpedo, and ended up with a whole bathtub full of the most expensive booze in the galaxy. Good day.

**-$8000, +10 LK** | Moonshine
**-$6930, +63 HP** | Hull Repairs
**-$6000, +5 FP** | Homing Missiles
**-$1200, +1 ST** | Nightshade
**+10 GRIT** | Standing Strong for Charybdis
**-45 HP** | Battle Damage, 1 Torpedo, 4 Lasers
**+2 LK, 2 EN** | Salvage
**+15 LK** | Mission Success!! A cask of aged Moonshine and as much Rot-Gut as you can stow.
**+1 GRIT** | Lucky.. ermm. I mean skillful dodge.
**+1 GRIT** | Critical Strike
**Ship** **HP** **FP** **SH** **EN** **ST** **LK** **CASH** **HAT** **GRIT**
First Post1 21/101 17 17 18 16 32 $230 NONE 14

**-$150** | 3 x Jug Rot-Gut
**-$520, +1 MAX HP** | Hull Denisty Adjustment
**+10 GRIT** | Standing Strong for Charybdis
**-80 HP** | Battle Damage, 3 Torpedos, 5 Lasers
**+3 SH** | Salvage
**+15 LK** | Mission Success!! A cask of aged Moonshine and as much Rot-Gut as you can stow.
**+1 GRIT** | Lucky.. ermm. I mean skillful dodge.
**Ship** **HP** **FP** **SH** **EN** **ST** **LK** **CASH** **HAT** **GRIT**
Grey Mouser 41/100 26 25 28 23 23 $40067 NONE 9

Don Mondo is defeated and you put some heavy dents in the hull of the Badass Space Dragon. You didn't quite pull of a death blossom, but whatever that was, it certainly worked.

**-$5060, +46 HP** | Hull Repairs
**-$4000, +4 FP** | 2 x Double Mint Gun
**-$3600, +3 SH** | 3 x Flak Bursts
**-$1600, +2 EN** | 2 x Bits and Pieces
**+4 FP, +4 SH, +4 EN, +4 ST** | I.C.U.P. Upgrades
**-59 HP** | Battle Damage, 0 Mondo Cannons, 7 Laser Showers
**+4 LK, +1 SH** | Salvage
**+$40,000** | Don Mondo Mission Bounty
**+1 GRIT** | Critical Strike
**Ship** **HP** **FP** **SH** **EN** **ST** **LK** **CASH** **HAT** **GRIT**
Hobar -8/100 24 20 16 13 15 $200 NONE 2

**No Action Today** | -5 GRIT
**Ship** **HP** **FP** **SH** **EN** **ST** **LK** **CASH** **HAT** **GRIT**
Hoosier Mama 74/104 19 17 18 19 17 $10220 NONE 1

**No Action Today** | -5 GRIT
**Ship** **HP** **FP** **SH** **EN** **ST** **LK** **CASH** **HAT** **GRIT**
I.M.V. Flatulent Deity 62/100 23 23 20 20 44 $0 Bolero 21

The fart god smiled on you.. after he farted on you. A cask of the best booze in the system but what may interest you more is a cargo deck brimming with flatulence inducing Rot-Gut. The methane furnace will be aglow with power, full speed ahead!

**-$6930, +63 HP** | Hull Repairs
**-$8000, +10 LK** | Moonshine
**-$10,000, +2 GRIT** | Hat
**-$40** | Flowers
**-$30** | Cat Food
**-$12** | Fart God Donation
**+1 ST** | Cone of Silence
**+10 GRIT** | Standing Strong for Charybdis
**-33 HP** | Battle Damage, 1 Torpedo, 3 Lasers
**+3 SH** | Salvage
**+15 LK** | Mission Success!! A cask of aged Moonshine and as much Rot-Gut as you can stow.
**Ship** **HP** **FP** **SH** **EN** **ST** **LK** **CASH** **HAT** **GRIT**
Insane1 31/100 21 13 19 17 41 $1740 NONE 16

This clown again!

**-$8000, +10 LK** | Moonshine
**-$550, +5 HP** | Hull Repairs
**-$6000, +5 FP** | 5 x Homing Missiles
**-$1200, +1 ST** | Nightshade
**+10 GRIT** | Standing Strong for Charybdis
**-69 HP** | Battle Damage, 2 Torpedos, 5 Lasers
**+3 EN, +1 LK** | Salvage
**+15 LK** | Mission Success!! A cask of aged Moonshine and as much Rot-Gut as you can stow.
**Ship** **HP** **FP** **SH** **EN** **ST** **LK** **CASH** **HAT** **GRIT**
Ironclad Cochrane 48/101 25 27 25 26 19 $40006 NONE 10

You went into your mission with an air of confidence and it served you well. You managed to avoid all the big guns and took Mondo down like a professional. Maybe you're cut out for this Marshal business.

**-$5200, +52 HP** | Hull Repairs
**+1 GRIT** | Scrappy Badass (Animation)
**+4 FP, +4 SH, +4 EN, +4 ST** | I.C.U.P. Upgrades
**-42 HP** | Battle Damage, 0 Mondo Cannons, 6 Laser Showers
**+3 SH, +2 ST** | Salvage
**+$40,000** | Don Mondo Mission Bounty
**Ship** **HP** **FP** **SH** **EN** **ST** **LK** **CASH** **HAT** **GRIT**
The Iron Giant 24/102 40 23 24 22 19 $40001 NONE 13

That Starbuck taped to the dashboard helped you pulled off a critical hit in a critical battle. You took some good ones up the schnoz, but you dished right back.

**-$5060, +46 HP** | Hull Repairs
**-$8000, +8 FP** | 4 x Double Mint Gun
**-$2400, +3 EN** | Bits and Pieces
**-$1200, +1 ST** | Nightshade
**-$4800, +4 FP** | 4 x Homing Missiles
**-$2400, +2 SH** | Flak Bursts
**-$100** | 2 x Jug Rot-Gut
**-$60** | 2 x Cat Food
**+4 FP, +4 SH, +4 EN, +4 ST** | I.C.U.P. Upgrades
**-78 HP** | Battle Damage, 1 Mondo Cannon, 7 Laser Showers
**+2 EN** | Salvage
**+$40,000** | Don Mondo Mission Bounty
**+1 GRIT** | Critical Strike
**Ship** **HP** **FP** **SH** **EN** **ST** **LK** **CASH** **HAT** **GRIT**
Jewel of the Desert 65/101 26 22 24 18 36 $670 NONE 20

Overpaid on hull repairs but underpaid on Flak Bursts so it evened out. The organ replicator looks like it's getting a workout. I hope you bought meat cartridge refills from Ella before she blacklisted you.

Good battle, you came out better than most, a barrage of light laser damage from some pesky coalition ships but I hear spleen makes a good spackle.

**-$5060, +46 HP** | Hull Repairs
**-$4000, +4 FP** | Double Mint Gun
**-$800, +1 EN** | Bits and Pieces
**-$3600, +3 SH** | Flak Bursts
**-$40** | Flowers
**-$30** | Cat Food
**+10 GRIT** | Standing Strong for Charybdis
**+1 EN** | Organ Replicator (Yum!)
**-36 HP** | Battle Damage, 0 Torpedos, 5 Lasers
**+2 FP, +2 LK** | Salvage
**+15 LK** | Mission Success!! A cask of aged Moonshine and as much Rot-Gut as you can stow.

Re-categorize some topics plz?
#2

**Ship** **HP** **FP** **SH** **EN** **ST** **LK** **CASH** **HAT** **GRIT**
Mistaker II 55/100 18 18 18 13 34 $1000 NONE 15

Even a trouble finder is hard pressed to find a tangle in the empty bits of Charybdis. After days of boredom, roaming the back woods of Avalon IV and catching an ugly fish on the moon of Beppo, you finally stumble into a real space brawl. You didn't do bad either.

**+10 GRIT** | Standing Strong for Charybdis
**-45 HP** | Battle Damage, 2 Torpedos, 3 Lasers
**+3 LK, 1 EN** | Salvage
**+15 LK** | Mission Success!! A cask of aged Moonshine and as much Rot-Gut as you can stow.
**+1 GRIT** | Lucky.. ermm. I mean skillful dodge.
**Ship** **HP** **FP** **SH** **EN** **ST** **LK** **CASH** **HAT** **GRIT**
Muddlin' Through 51/100 25 21 24 26 45 $11490 NONE 21

It appears that all went according to plan.

**-$4510, +41 HP** | Hull Repairs
**-$8000, +10 LK** | Moonshine
**+10 GRIT** | Standing Strong for Charybdis
**+1 ST** | Puppet Master
**-49 HP** | Battle Damage, 2 Torpedos, 4 Lasers
**+5 FP** | Salvage
**+15 LK** | Mission Success!! A cask of aged Moonshine and as much Rot-Gut as you can stow.
**Ship** **HP** **FP** **SH** **EN** **ST** **LK** **CASH** **HAT** **GRIT**
The Nitimeistheritime 39/100 14 13 16 22 33 $863 NONE 13

The long lost Doctor Esstimpress appears from the dark and destroys several of the I.C.U.P. advance squadron. Shruging off heavy damage, The Nitimeistheritime vanishes once again. Waiting. Listening. Secretly yearning for a hat.

**+10 GRIT** | Standing Strong for Charybdis
**-61 HP** | Battle Damage, 2 Torpedos, 4 Lasers
**+2 EN, 2 ST** | Salvage
**+15 LK** | Mission Success!! A cask of aged Moonshine and as much Rot-Gut as you can stow.
**Ship** **HP** **FP** **SH** **EN** **ST** **LK** **CASH** **HAT** **GRIT**
Nordstjärnan 51/121 30 19 28 18 29 $1200 NONE 20

The coalition forces were dazzled by your flak bursts and ate many of your delicious homing missiles and double mint guns.

**-$6600, +60 HP** | Hull Repairs
**-$5200, +10 MAX HP** | Hull Denisty Adjustment
**-$2000, +2 FP** | Double Mint Gun
**-$6000, +5 FP** | Homing Missiles
**-$4800, +4 SH** | Flak Bursts
**+10 GRIT** | Standing Strong for Charybdis
**-70 HP** | Battle Damage, 3 Torpedos, 5 Lasers
**+2 FP, +1 EN** | Salvage
**+15 LK** | Mission Success!! A cask of aged Moonshine and as much Rot-Gut as you can stow.
**Ship** **HP** **FP** **SH** **EN** **ST** **LK** **CASH** **HAT** **GRIT**
Pillar of Autumn 100/100 21 19 27 19 19 $1460 NONE 3

**No Action Today** | -5 GRIT
**Ship** **HP** **FP** **SH** **EN** **ST** **LK** **CASH** **HAT** **GRIT**
Pusillanimous Patty 67/107 27 22 26 28 45 $0 NONE 18

A few coalition lightweights aren't going to take down Tricky Dick. A little laser singe and a couple torpedoes to rock the boat. Nothing scandelous.

**-$3850, +35 HP** | Hull Repairs
**-$8000, +10 LK** | Moonshine
**-$4000, +5 EN** | Bits and Pieces
**-$4000, +4 FP** | Double Mint Gun
**-$2600, +5 MAX HP** | Hull Denisty Adjustment
**-$2400, +2 SH** | Flak Bursts
**-$80** | Two Bouquets of Flowers
**-$60** | Cat Food
**-$10** | Bet on Mondo
**+10 GRIT** | Standing Strong for Charybdis
**+1 EN** | Incriminating Recording Devices
**-40 HP** | Battle Damage, 2 Torpedos, 3 Lasers
**+2 LK, +1 ST** | Salvage
**+15 LK** | Mission Success!! A cask of aged Moonshine and as much Rot-Gut as you can stow.
**Ship** **HP** **FP** **SH** **EN** **ST** **LK** **CASH** **HAT** **GRIT**
Quisquiliae sStruem 30/100 18 27 16 18 23 $141180 NONE 14

The Badass Space Dragon is a ship of legend and word has travelled fast that Captain Pedge of the Quisquiliae sStruem has knocked her out of the stars. It wasn't a powerful shot but it was well placed.

You've ended the giant lizard, the villain, the hero, the self-declared President of Charybdis. Change is coming to the galaxy.. and you've made it all possible.

You rummage for artifacts, you can't find the iconic bicorne hat, it was likely incinerated. Mondo's scorched arm and broken leg will have to do as evidence when you claim your bounty.. and what's this.. almost missed it.. a single Space Lizard eyeball floating in space like a green olive in a martini.

**-$10120, +92 HP** | Hull Repairs
**-$6400, +4 SH** | Deflecto Coating
**-$2000, +2 FP** | Double Mint Gun
**-$1600, +2 EN** | Bits and Pieces
**-$3600, +3 FP** | Homing Missiles
**-$300** | 10 x Cat Food - YUM!
**+4 FP, +4 SH, +4 EN, +4 ST** | I.C.U.P. Upgrades
**-70 HP** | Battle Damage, 1 Mondo Cannon, 6 Laser Showers
**+4 LK** | Salvage
**+$40,000** | Don Mondo Mission Bounty
**+$100,000, +5 GRIT** | You Killed Don Mondo
**Ship** **HP** **FP** **SH** **EN** **ST** **LK** **CASH** **HAT** **GRIT**
Senescent Wanderer 46/116 16 15 21 25 33 $512 NONE 21

The Wanderer seems attracted to torpedos, a ship with a death wish.. or perhaps she just fights better with a little blood in the water. The Wanderer mulched several coalition stooges and paid close attention to the manuverings of Captain Falkyn during the battle. Interesting statistics.

**-$8320, +16 MAX HP** | Hull Denisty Adjustment
**+1 EN** | Ship Profile
**+10 GRIT** | Standing Strong for Charybdis
**-70 HP** | Battle Damage, 3 Torpedos, 4 Lasers
**+1 LK** | Salvage
**+15 LK** | Mission Success!! A cask of aged Moonshine and as much Rot-Gut as you can stow.
**Ship** **HP** **FP** **SH** **EN** **ST** **LK** **CASH** **HAT** **GRIT**
Slidewinder 71/100 15 16 17 15 17 $12150 NONE 0

**No Action Today** | -5 GRIT
**Ship** **HP** **FP** **SH** **EN** **ST** **LK** **CASH** **HAT** **GRIT**
The Slightly More Than Ordinary 39/100 21 18 18 19 33 $500 NONE 13

Not one to be left out of an epic battle, Captain Grey deftly dodges destruction and dishes devistating damage!

**+10 GRIT** | Standing Strong for Charybdis
**-61 HP** | Battle Damage, 2 Torpedos, 5 Lasers
**+1 ST, 1 FP** | Salvage
**+15 LK** | Mission Success!! A cask of aged Moonshine and as much Rot-Gut as you can stow.
**+1 GRIT** | Lucky.. ermm. I mean skillful dodge.
**Ship** **HP** **FP** **SH** **EN** **ST** **LK** **CASH** **HAT** **GRIT**
The TARD-iss 3/113 24 21 23 23 32 $40000 NONE 10

You took several hits in rapid succession from Don Mondo's laser arrays and were pounded by a barrage from the main cannons. One more tiny bump and your hull would have cracked open like a bottle. Speaking of cracking open a bottle, now is probably a good time.

**-$8000, +10 LK** | Moonshine
**-$6050, +55 HP** | Hull Repairs
**-$81** | BBQ Dog
**+1 EN** | Ship Profile
**+4 FP, +4 SH, +4 EN, +4 ST** | I.C.U.P. Upgrades
**-96 HP** | Battle Damage, 2 Mondo Cannon, 5 Laser Showers
**+3 FP** | Salvage
**+$40,000** | Don Mondo Mission Bounty
**+1 GRIT** | Lucky.. ermm. I mean skillful dodge.
**Ship** **HP** **FP** **SH** **EN** **ST** **LK** **CASH** **HAT** **GRIT**
Taurean Mule 40/100 17 16 17 18 33 $380 NONE 17

That Bicentennial Lincoln Penny paid off with a critical strike against a coalition fighter and a dodged torpedo!

**-$7260, +66 HP** | Hull Repairs
**-$2000, +2 FP** | Double Mint Gun
**-$2000, +1 LK** | Lucky Penny
**-$1200, +1 SH** | Flak Bursts
**-$60** | 2 x Cat Food
**+10 GRIT** | Standing Strong for Charybdis
**-60 HP** | Battle Damage, 2 Torpedos, 3 Lasers
**+2 SH, 2 EN** | Salvage
**+15 LK** | Mission Success!! A cask of aged Moonshine and as much Rot-Gut as you can stow.
**+1 GRIT** | Lucky.. ermm. I mean skillful dodge.
**+1 GRIT** | Critical Strike
**Ship** **HP** **FP** **SH** **EN** **ST** **LK** **CASH** **HAT** **GRIT**
Zhe Shadow Pacifist 59/100 24 24 24 24 14 $41658 NONE 4

An excellent battle, you avoided major fire from Don Mondo's big guns and pulled down a nice bounty. Others weren't so fortunate.

**-$2000, +2 FP** | Double Mint Gun
**-$2400, +2 SH** | Flak Bursts
**-$1600, +2 EN** | Bits and Pieces
**-$4800, +4 ST** | Nightshade
**+4 FP, +4 SH, +4 EN, +4 ST** | I.C.U.P. Upgrades
**-36 HP** | Battle Damage, 0 Mondo Cannons, 5 Laser Showers
**+2 SH** | Salvage
**+$40,000** | Don Mondo Mission Bounty

Epilogue: Mackey
#3

– System Notes –

Ok, point out all my mistakes so I can fix the results before I go to bed!

Missions and shopping will post soon!

– System Notes –


#4

Mood: Ebullient

Yes! We made it through - for all of El-Esk’s morbid hedging, we fucking made it.

Now if everyone is careful to forget a little outburst I made yesterday, this will all… go… smoothly.

(Lizards and 'synths alike… I’m willing to pay you handsomely to forget anything I may have said about my identity. Say, oh, $500 spacies?)


#5

– SYSTEM NOTE –

Several price changes today and limited shopping based on your previous mission selection.

If you helped kill Don Mondo, Pete wants nothing to do with you.

Ella will only deal with government friendlies. That means none of you folks who attacked the coalition.

– SYSTEM NOTE –

Scrapyard Pete's Outer Space Outfitters - NO COALITION STOOGES!!

Blue projection cubes spin and flicker.
SALE! EVERYTHING MUST GO!!!
30-70% OFF TODAY ONLY!!

That’s right, I’m havin’ a helluva sale today! Don’t look so surprised, it happens occasionally! C’mon in and help me clear this junk out…

…but NO COALITION STOOGES!!!

You know Don Mondo takes care his own, he dropped big cyrpto here, a $25,000 credit for anyone who fought the coalition.

Serious. It was the last thing he took care of before a bunch of sellout traitors shot him to shreds.

Things are going to change around here, you just wait, that big-ass lizard was the only damn thing holding back the flood. So… yeah… shop around.

Moonshine - Just in from Benemede! Top shelf product!
- $4000/Jug (+10 LK)

Hull Repairs - Maintenance is the key to survival.
- $50/HP

Hull Density Adjustment - Increases MAX HP.
- $300/HP

Mondo Cannon (+10 FP) - Yeah. It’s a big gun. You got reverse thrusters?
- $5000

Armor (+10 SH) - We can fuse a ton of this junk… I mean armor… to your hull.
- $5000

Bit and Pieces (+1 EN) - Some androids knocked out a hive mind a few days ago and we pulled some great parts out when we scrapped it… like this… uhh. I’m sure it’s useful. Well there’s a lot of it, feel free to pick through the pile and see if there’s anything useful.
- $500/pallet -

Lucky Penny (+1 LK) - Look a the dates on these things! 1977! 1982!
- $500

Lucky Penny (+1 LK) - Look a the dates on these things! 1977! 1982!
- $500

Fez (+2 GRIT) - It’s not my favorite hat but some people like it… and it sure beats dying a hatless bastard.
- $5000

Ella's Backwater Botique

Greetings. I am Ella, the owner and operator of Ella's Backwater Botique. Located on the beautiful ocean planet of Alador, we carry unique handcrafted weapons and high quality electronics. If you grow weary of roughneck traders and inflated prices, please consider shopping with Ella. Civilization in the rough.

Coalition Contractor: We Reserve the Right to Refuse Service to Thugs, Brutes, and Scoundrels.

~Hull Repairs~ (+1 HP) - The very best hull repairs, using 100% recycled materials and completly coalition compliant.
- $500/ea -

~Hull Density Adjustment~ (+1 MAX HP) - Strengthen your hull for life with our hull-istic improvement process.
- $2500/ea -

~Homing Missiles~ (+1 FP) - Track down terrorists with the press of a button.
- $1500/ea -

~Flak Bursts~ (+1 SH) - A beautiful shower of objects with varied heat and molecular signatures.
- $1500/ea -

~Glorious Gadgets, Gizmos and Gewgaws~ (+1 EN) - Parts of all sorts!
- $1500/ea -

~Nightshade~ (+1 ST) - Hull paint with embeded pattern replication fillaments for cloaking. Defaults to a handsome charcoal black.
- $1500/ea -

~Clover Soup~ (+1 LK) - Delicious organic soup made from four leaf clovers and rabbit feet.
- $1500/ea -

~ Hat ~ (+2 GRIT) - We carry hats of all sorts, Pork Pies have been popular lately. We no longer carry the Bicorne De Marine. That evil lizard ruined them for all of us.
- $10,000 (limit one) -

~Flowers~ - These would look very nice on your ship. Do you have any plants?
- $50/boquet -

~Cat Food~ - The fancy kind. A delightful treat for cats or Space Lizards.
- $50/can -


#6

When your math is wrong, you leave your fate to chance.

-Hawk Granger, Space Ranger


#7

Aggggh!!! I wish the coalition would quit broadcasting that Hawk Granger crap. Met him once, that guy’s an absolute space dick.

-Scrapyard Pete


#8

Mood: Less than suicidal

No one ever called the Senescent Wanderer a lucky ship. At least no-one did, and survived. But here she was - the ship and her proxy synth-flesh captain; alive on sufferance, alive on luck.

The time she’d cornered Sam around Angeldust, she’d been a broken woman. It was lucky that she survived - but that was a luck born of desperation.

A century before, Sam had torn her apart - taken almost all of her bodies and proxies and remote platforms to pieces. That had hurt more than anything she’d ever imagined, ever experienced - hurt more than the months of mental torture at the hands of the Tharsis 'mounties. Hurt more than the psychological gutting of that Majid skulker back in 2720.

When Sam had wired himself down and in to his ship body, he’d gone the way of the megolomaniac - the overawing pathway of machismo. The little house corvette had enveloped his body and then blossomed - iterating out into nested skins and skeins of increasingly novel materials, increasingly potent engines of destruction, until the mortal remains of Sam Davis were accommodated in a great, eternal sarcophagus; a seventeen kilometre long saint’s reliquary. His soul and mind had diffused into the flesh and the fabric of the ship - into the quantum-lacework and subroutine substrata. The death of his physical body - from a stray kinetic in a nameless border war, an event he’d always blamed on El-Esk - had been but an annoyance.

Sam became the ship - a symbolic, phallic, aggressive armature of force-extension.

Esk had been more subtle. She’d never invested in the idea of one platform - one locus for her consciousness. The first blush of interconnection with shipflesh had been unprovoked - drawn about by Sam’s own encounters with Majid outliers and his desires for another that might be able to, peripherally, appreciate his peculiarities. But as much as she resented the first shackling, she could anticipate its benefits.

As she left the House behind - dedicated herself to the hunting of the Sam - she realised just what a gift the madman had given her.

Instead of a single ship, she tied her burgeoning mindstate into a hundred little craft - skerries and cargolifters and ancient argyle class cruisers - a networked fleet of Esks running dark, and running deep, as they moved into uncharted territory. She left her old body behind - these craft were crewed by new generations of 'synth platforms, knotted back to the emulated quantum-states running on the ship systems.

She was legion.

Then, a century before Angeldust, Sam had almost obliterated her. Taken apart every ship but the Senescent Wanderer - a clumsy frigate from the late Majid war. The poor craft had nearly burnt itself to cinders, torn itself apart, as it tumbled into the atmosphere, and the hypersaline ocean, of an undistinguished water-world somewhere out past the Katar system.

Her last avatar had stood on the black-sand beach of a solitary island, watching the waves crash over the hulk of the Wanderer… watched as an iteration of ship Sam, in his carbon-black body - face as impassive as it had been back in their days by the freeway - strode through the surf, and threw a single, faded photograph at her feet.

“It’s over, Esk. Done. I owe Kat that much…”

A silence. He wanted her to speak - rationalise. Explain.

She hadn’t said anything. What could she possibly say?

“I’d like you to die.” He said. “I’ve dreamt of you dying a thousand times over. I burnt you out of the sky… I tore all your varied bodies to their constituent pieces. I would continue doing that, but…”

"I can’t kill you. Can’t kill you completely. As much as I hate you, I can’t live with the idea that you’re not… "

“Alive?” She offered.

“Suffering.”

He left her there, and she watched as the sun set and a long lance of engine-fire illuminated the horizon and ship-Sam was away. She sat on her haunches in the black sand as naked as a machine can be, meditating. She was crying. She wasn’t sure why.

Finally, as the sun rose, she clambered to her feet - set herself against the surf, facing out to the broken ruin of the Wanderer.

There was work to do.


#9

Alright. How am I going to fix this thing with only … $25000 in store credit?

Hmm.

Alright, Kindred. Lets get geared up. Today is going to be… interesting.

I might also like to talk to some interested parties about a possible defence of Scrapyard Pete. Inveterate tinkering and DIY culture are not the marks of an outlaw.


2 x Armor = $10000
2 x Mondo Cannon = $10000
70 HP repaired = $3500
5 x Hull Denisty Adjustment = $1500


#10

Quisquiliae sStruem


sStarting Cash: $141180

Hull Repairss x70: -$35000, +70 HP
Homing Misssssile x2: -$3000, +2 FP
Flak Burssst x3: -$4500, +3 SH
Gloriousss Gadgetsss Gizmosss and Gewgawsss x4: -$6000, +4 EN
Nightshade x2: -$3000, +2 ST
Clover sSoup x2: -$3000, +2 LK
Hat (Natty Topper): -$10000, +2 Grit

Ella, how much to 3dprint a dashboard mount for this eyeball?

Total sSpend: $64500
Remaining Cash: $76680

New sStatsss:
HP: 100/100
FP: 20
SH: 30
EN; 20
ST; 20
LK: 25
Hat: Natty Topper
Grit: 16

(I’ll post again when missions go up)


#11

Sssssuccsssesssss!

I think we need to keep a clossse eye on the captainsss of the Hoosssier Mama, The Pillar of Autumn and the Ssslidewinder, the sssplitterssss.

Many thanksss to Pete for the credit. The Patty isss pretty banged up and Nixssson isss (asss alwaysss) brassssic.

Sssshopping lisssst:

($2000) Hull Repairsss x 40
($5000) Mondo Cannon
($3000) Bitsss & Piecesss x 6
($5000) Armor (ssssic)
($4000) More moonssshine!
($900) Hull Density Adjustment x 3
($5000) Fez. Just like that, my head isss getting cold. I like thisss one:
http://www.fez-o-rama.com/current-fezzes-cthulhu-fez-c-130_100

$100 Ssssavingsss. Doesss Pete give change on credit? If not, give it to the lady lizsssardsss Mondo left behind.


#12

Save some cash for missions, Nixssssssssson.


#13

Perhapssss I ssshould, but I only have sssstore credit. If necssesssary, I can adjussst my order.


#14

Ship: Zhe Shadow Pacifist

Shopping list:

  • 1x Hat - $10,000
  • 41x Hull Repairs - $20,500
  • 6x Clover Soup - $9,000
  • 5x Flowers - $250
  • 5x Cat Food - $250

Mission: Coalition #2 - Hoodlums


#15

Perhaps I can pay you for your silence?

(I think our funds are dangerously low, and while I have backdoor routines into the House kitty, I’m not sure how much Eleanor sees…)


#16

No change on credit. I’m sure the orphans of this war will enjoy their onion soup.


#17

Can the credit pay for misssionsss?


#18

Pete and Ella have drastically different Hull Repair rates, is this an aftereffect of the recent brouhaha?


#19

Today's Missions - The Rift Due Tuesday, 11pm PST

Coalition Victory Declared
by Newt Greenwald

The Coalition forces sent against Don Mondo were intercepted by a gang of rogue fighters and mercenaries. Many coalition ships were destroyed and more were forced to turn back under heavy fire. One small squadron, accompanied by Marshal Seldon, managed to punch through and found their way to Don Mondo's ship, the Badass Space Dragon, which they destroyed.

The recruits, against much larger artillery, managed to defeat Mondo. Captain Pedge, a relative unknown until today, delivered the final volley, causing the Badass Space Dragon to explode, killing Mondo and his crew.

Mondo is a complicated figure, perceived by some as a crime boss and by others as an inspirational leader, he recently declared himself President of Charybdis in a stirring and controversial letter openly addressed to his fellow Charybdians.

Following Mondo's death, a coalition broadcast claimed victory in the battle but the substance of that claim has yet to be realized. Does this mean the Charybdis galaxy will be annexed by the coalition and subject to their laws or will the neighboring galaxies work with citizens of this nascent cluster to develop their own form of galactic government? These questions have yet to be answered.

Charybdis has never had a formal government, a point of pride for many, and with Mondo dead, the galaxy is now growing into fractured groups with sharply differing objectives.

Only time will tell the fate of Charybdis and the many people, androids and lizards who call this spiral galaxy their home.

Coalition Mission 1 - Fire Sale

Scrapyard Pete is an associate of Don Mondo and his gang. His scrapyard must be destroyed.
**Note - If you attacked the coalition, you may not take coalition missions.**
**Mission Cost:** Outfitted by Coalition Forces **Reward:** $5,000, +1 GRIT **Risks:** Drone Swarm, Bolt Cannons 80% - Bolt Cannon, lose HP (5-10 based on SH & EN) 60% - Bolt Cannon, lose HP (5-10 based on SH & EN) 20% - Swarm of TEN Drones, lose HP (1-10 HP based on FP & SH) *Calculated on a per drone basis*

Coalition Mission 2 - Hoodlums

The coalition needs help rounding up the pirates who attacked their advance scouts.
**Note - If you attacked the coalition, you may not take coalition missions.**
**Mission Cost:** $500 (Food & Supplies) **Reward:** $10,000, +1 GRIT **Risks:** Hoodlum
**Ship** **HP** **FP** **SH** **EN** **ST** **LK** **GRIT**
Hoodlum (10-110)/110 1-30 1-30 1-30 1-30 1-30 1-30
**Note - None of these fights are pig pile missions, you will be flying solo.**

Coalition Mission 3 - Lockdown

Secure resource producing facilities such as mines, gas planets, and crystal farms
**Note - If you attacked the coalition, you may not take coalition missions.**
**Mission Cost:** $500 (Food &Supplies) **Reward:** $20,000, +2 GRIT **Risks:** Space Scum
**Ship** **HP** **FP** **SH** **EN** **ST** **LK** **GRIT**
Space Scum (50-110)/110 15-30 15-30 15-30 15-30 15-30 15-30
**Note - None of these fights are pig pile missions, you will be flying solo.**

Outlaw Mission 1: Crystal Quest

These ultra high grade blue hydromethane crystals are one of the most valuable resources in Charybdis.
Aside from the children, the children are always our most valuable resource.
Don't worry about hijackers because these crystals are also extremely volitle and tend to explode. If they get knocked around by asteroids, you have a pretty good chance of turning inside out.
**Note - If you attacked Don Mondo, you may not take outlaw missions.**
**Mission Cost:** Paid for by nefarious crystal farmers. **Reward:** $50,000, +2 GRIT **Risks:** Asteroids, Explosions 20% - Asteroids, lose HP (5-15 based on SH & EN) 20% - Asteroids, lose HP (5-15 based on SH & EN) If you are hit by asteroids, you have a chance for crystal explosions. (100-LK)% - Crystal Explosions, lose HP (50-70 HP based on SH) (100-2LK)% - BIG Crystal Explosions, lose HP (50-100 HP based on SH) If you are not hit by asteroids, you no problems!

Outlaw Mission 2: Ore Another Option

Ore is a lot more stable than explosive shards of cold fire. Also a lot more attractive to hijacking space thugs.
**Note - If you attacked Don Mondo, you may not take outlaw missions.**
**Mission Cost:** $500 (Food & Supplies) **Reward:** $20,000, +1 GRIT **Risks:** Space Pirates
**Ship** **HP** **FP** **SH** **EN** **ST** **LK** **GRIT**
Space Pirates (10-110)/110 1-30 1-30 1-30 1-30 1-30 1-30

Outlaw Mission 3: Orange You Still Glad?

Trucking oranges might not be so bad after all.
**Note - If you attacked Don Mondo, you may not take outlaw missions.**
**Mission Cost:** $500 (Food & Supplies) **Reward:** $15,000 **Risks:** Spoilage, Hijacking 70% - Spoilage, diminished reward ($1,000-$10,000 based on EN) 10% - Hijacking, lose HP (5-35 HP Based on FP & SH)

A Very Costly Mission

If you're affiliated with the coalition or branded as an outlaw you may switch sides by performing a very daring and dangerous task. Just seems like a lot of busy work to me but whatever. **Mission Cost:** $20,000 **Reward:** Switch Affiliation **Risks:** Missiles, Drones, and Mines -- Oh my! 10% - Salvo of TEN Missiles, lose HP (10-20 HP based on FP & SH) 20% - Swarm of FIFTEEN Drones, lose HP (1-10 HP based on FP & SH) 15% - Field of FIVE Mines, lose HP (20-30 HP based on FP & SH) *Calculated on a per item basis. For example, each missile has a 10% chance of hitting for 10-20HP*
**Sit out this round -5 GRIT**
**Round 5 ends Tuesday, October 1st at 11pm (PST)**
Questions? Comments? Post them in the [Rules & Gameplay Thread][1].

#20

Nixssson feelsss lucky. And sssstony broke. He hasss no choicssse.

Cryssstal Quessst it isss.