Ella: Why must you always be late?
Don Mondo: Heh heh… Little robot, if I showed up on time, no one would think I was so mysterioussss.
Ella: You missed the entire meeting.
Don Mondo: There weren’t any snacks. Anyhow, this is the real meeting. Just the three of ussss.
Pete: Ugh… I hate meetings.
Don Mondo: Well, little robot, what’s the newssss?
Ella: Our scouts were quite effective. They observed Bad Penny mulching several planets for resources. We put broke up some mining facilities but local ships are losing ground to the cubes and Unizone hasn't been any help.
Pete: We’re calling the blasted thing Bad Penny? Why not Evil Coin or Space Buck?
Ella: It's shaped like a penny, Space Buck wouldn't make any sense.
Pete: Was that a pun? You sly robot!
Ella: We are up against something more intelligent and more dangerous than we can imagine. This AI has turned our pool of collective greed into processing power and it has decided that it flat out wants to destroy us.
Pete: But why?
Don Mondo: I’ll tell you why. Because we’re bastards. This thing isn’t angry, it’s scared. It’s a smart machine, it’s run billions of scenarios, peeked into every possible future. It knows we’re going to kick it’s assssss.
Results
+---------- Ship ----------+-- HP ---+- FP -+- SH -+- EN -+- ST -+- LK -+- GRIT -+
| Carcinogenic Denture | 122/122 | 41 | 31 | 34 | 28 | 24 | 7 |
+--------------------------+---------+------+------+------+------+------+--------+
Hat: None
StarBits: b2üýþÿ?.}~¼
Additional Notes:
-b120, +10 Max HP, Full HP, 2 SH | Complete Overhaul
Full HP, Hull Repairs unnecessary.
-b120, 16 FP | Gatling Cannon
-b20, 2 ST | Scan Scrambler
-b20 | Mission 2 - Follow the Money
b2000 | Mission Success!
@funruly
+---------- Ship ----------+-- HP ---+- FP -+- SH -+- EN -+- ST -+- LK -+- GRIT -+
| Ignoble Calumnie | 105/109 | 26 | 19 | 31 | 23 | 29 | 1 |
+--------------------------+---------+------+------+------+------+------+--------+
Hat: None
StarBits: b°±²³.0000
Additional Notes:
-b3, 6HP | Hull Repairs
-b20, 2ST | Scan Scrambler
-b60, 6EN | 3x Machine That Goes Bing
-b10 | Mission 4 - Change of Scenery
-b11 | Charitable Donation to the Beard Memorial Tombstone Fund
-4 HP | Asteroid!!
-1 GRIT | Hiding in a Bottle
b20 | Mission Success!
+---------- Ship ----------+-- HP ---+- FP -+- SH -+- EN -+- ST -+- LK -+- GRIT -+
| Certain Moral Flex | 98/98 | 17 | 14 | 22 | 55 | 43 | 4 |
+--------------------------+---------+------+------+------+------+------+--------+
Hat: Pith Helmet
StarBits: b2·¸¹.·¸¹000
Additional Notes:
-b10 | Mission 4 - Change of Scenery
-b500, +2 GRIT, +5 FP | Pith Helmet
-b26, +52 HP | Hull Repairs
-4 FP | Sent to @gwwar
4 ST | Received from @gwwar
-b13.2 | Charitable Donation to the Beard Memorial Tombstone Fund
Asteroids Dodged
-1 GRIT | Hiding in a Bottle
b20 | Mission Success!
+---------- Ship ----------+-- HP ---+- FP -+- SH -+- EN -+- ST -+- LK -+- GRIT -+
| The YOLO Mk2 | 109/109 | 37 | 39 | 36 | 40 | 32 | 4 |
+--------------------------+---------+------+------+------+------+------+--------+
Hat: None
StarBits: b¥0£Ø.00
Additional Notes:
-b20 | Mission 2 - Follow the Money
-b120, +10 Max HP, Full HP, 2 SH | Complete Overhaul
-b100, 10 ST | 5x Scan Scrambler
-b160, 16 SH | Hull Plating
b2000 | Mission Success!
+---------- Ship ----------+-- HP ---+- FP -+- SH -+- EN -+- ST -+- LK -+- GRIT -+
| Smiling Dingo | 50/96 | 53 | 38 | 34 | 11 | 19 | 5 |
+--------------------------+---------+------+------+------+------+------+--------+
Hat: None
StarBits: b¥¦§¨5.0000
Additional Notes:
4 FP | Received from @danneel
-4 ST | Sent to @danneel
-b20, +40 HP | Hull Repairs
-b80, 8 SH | 2x Hull Plating
-b20, 2 EN | Machine That Goes Bing
-b60, 8 FP | Gatling Cannon
-b20 | Mission 1 - Cloud Busters
-46 HP | 2x Turbo Cannon
+1 GRIT | Cloud Buster
b2000 | Mission Success!
+---------- Ship ----------+-- HP ---+- FP -+- SH -+- EN -+- ST -+- LK -+- GRIT -+
| Audacious Blip | 39/102 | 23 | 24 | 49 | 16 | 21 | 2 |
+--------------------------+---------+------+------+------+------+------+--------+
Hat: None
StarBits: b§0±.8333
Additional Notes:
-b2, +4 HP | Hull Repairs
-b120, 12 EN | Machine That Goes Bing
-b50 | Mission 3 - Spare Change - 5 Drones
-63 HP | 5x Drones
b1000 | Mission Success!
+---------- Ship ----------+-- HP ---+- FP -+- SH -+- EN -+- ST -+- LK -+- GRIT -+
| Pleiades 360 | 101/101 | 30 | 28 | 27 | 31 | 18 | 8 |
+--------------------------+---------+------+------+------+------+------+--------+
Hat: None
StarBits: bº»¼.0000
Additional Notes:
-b2, +4 HP | Hull Repairs
-b60, 6 ST | 3x Scan Scrambler
-b20, 2 EN | Machine That Goes Bing
-b20 | Mission 2 - Follow the Money
+1 GRIT | Dot-Matrixizer b2000 | Mission Success!
+---------- Ship ----------+-- HP ---+- FP -+- SH -+- EN -+- ST -+- LK -+- GRIT -+
| Somewhat Broken Heart | 100/101 | 32 | 33 | 42 | 28 | 29 | 6 |
+--------------------------+---------+------+------+------+------+------+--------+
Hat: None
StarBits: bÈÉ.¶00
Additional Notes:
-b44 | Sent to Community Bank
-b8, +16 HP | Hull Repairs
-b80, 8 SH | 2x Hull Plating
-b100, 10 ST | 5x Scan Scrambler
-b80, 8 EN | Machine That Goes Bing
-b20 | Mission 2 - Follow the Money
b2000 | Mission Success!
@wisconsinplatt
+---------- Ship ----------+-- HP ---+- FP -+- SH -+- EN -+- ST -+- LK -+- GRIT -+
| ZepEx Express 1337 | 87/110 | 42 | 38 | 26 | 22 | 26 | 2 |
+--------------------------+---------+------+------+------+------+------+--------+
Hat: None
StarBits: b¥30®.¼000
Additional Notes:
-b8, +15 HP | Hull Repairs (Full HP)
-b80, 8 SH | 2x Hull Plating
-b40, 4 EN | 2x Machine That Goes Bing
-b120, 16 FP | 2x Gatling Cannon
-b20 | Mission 1 - Cloud Busters
+1 GRIT | Cloud Buster
-23 HP | 1x Turbo Cannon
b2000 | Mission Success!
+---------- Ship ----------+-- HP ---+- FP -+- SH -+- EN -+- ST -+- LK -+- GRIT -+
| Awesomating Overthruster | 124/123 | 25 | 25 | 41 | 18 | 31 | 6 |
+--------------------------+---------+------+------+------+------+------+--------+
Hat: None
StarBits: b®01¢.00®0
Additional Notes:
-b26 | Sent to Community Fund
-b3, +6 HP | Hull Repairs
-b40, 4 EN | 2x Machine That Goes Bing
-b20 | Mission 2 - Follow the Money
b2000 | Mission Success!