xeni at June 19th, 2014 14:00 — #1
capnmarrrrk at June 19th, 2014 14:05 — #2
I wonder if Lucasfilm could have sued for Darth Maul copyright infringement?
fuzzyfungus at June 19th, 2014 14:06 — #3
Is the CIA entirely composed of vat-borns who never had childhoods?
If I got a Darth Osama action figure, the only thing that would piss me off is the fact that supply-chain zionists had clearly stolen the lightsaber before I got to open the package...
laynesk at June 19th, 2014 14:56 — #4
If only all these asinine, jerkoff cloak & dagger plots came complete with a price tag. How many millions spent on this guaranteed ineffective, idiotic attempt at psy-op bullshit?
capnmarrrrk at June 19th, 2014 15:15 — #5
Is it possible to even GET one MIB?
jenonymous at June 19th, 2014 15:25 — #6
You beat me to it, but that was the very first thing I thought as well.
Watching gubmint agencies trying to be culturally topical without fucking it up is like watching your Mom try to be cool when you're in junior high school--intensely painful.
nickyg at June 19th, 2014 16:18 — #7
Osama -- now with more Zartan!
jsroberts at June 19th, 2014 17:10 — #8
This is why people believe in conspiracy theories.
mister44 at June 19th, 2014 20:52 — #9
The most metal action figure ever.
daneel at June 19th, 2014 20:58 — #10
newliminted at June 19th, 2014 23:27 — #11
What toys from your childhood could have been CIA plants?
brainspore at June 19th, 2014 23:31 — #12
Conversely, I wonder if Bin Laden could have sued the
FBI CIA for implying he was affiliated with The Phantom Menace?"
eksrae at June 19th, 2014 23:38 — #13
Everyone knows that things like work best when released in concert with either an animated series or action movie.
And don't forget the Ji-Had grip.
mister44 at June 19th, 2014 23:46 — #14
I know OBL was an evil bastard, but no one deserves that.
fuzzyfungus at June 20th, 2014 05:39 — #15
Would an image of the twin towers falling, with Jar-jar superimposed front and center, and his, um, iconic, line
Mesa cause one, two-y little bitty axadentes, huh? Yud say boom de gasser, den crashin der bosses heyblibber, den banished.
as a caption qualify as 'too soon'?
On consideration, 'one, two-y little bitty axadentes' caused by 'crashin der bosses heyblibber' seems downright prescient, by gungan standards...
angus at June 20th, 2014 07:23 — #16
Things are getting worse for the poor Terrorists this has just been Published in the local paper!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Al Qa'eedda to go on Strike
Muslim suicide bombers in Britain are set to begin a three-day strike next Monday in a dispute over the number of virgins they are entitled to in the afterlife. Emergency talks with Al Qaeda have so far failed to produce an agreement.The unrest began last Tuesday when Al Qaeda announced that the number of virgins a suicide bomber would receive after his death will be cut by 25% this April from 72 to only 60. The rationale for the cut was the increase in recent years of the number of suicide bombings and a subsequent shortage of virgins in the afterlife.
The suicide bombers' union, the British Organization of Occupational Martyrs (or B.O.O.M.) responded with a statement that this was unacceptable to its members and immediately balloted for strike action. General Secretary Abdullah Amir told the press, "Our members are literally working themselves to death in the cause of Jihad. We don't ask for much in return but to be treated like this is like a kick in the teeth".
Speaking from his shed in Tipton in the West Midlands in which he currently resides, an Al Qaeda chief executive explained,
"We sympathize with our workers' concerns but Al Qaeda is simply not in a position to meet their demands. They are simply not accepting the realities of modern-day Jihad in a competitive marketplace. Thanks to Western depravity, there is now a chronic shortage of virgins in the afterlife. It's a straight choice between reducing expenditure and laying people off. I don't like cutting wages but I'd hate to have to tell 3000 of my staff that they won't be able to blow themselves up."
Spokespersons for the union in Newcastle, Middlesbrough, Essex, Glasgow and Australia stated that they would be unaffected as there are no virgins in these areas anyway.
Apparently the drop in the number of suicide bombings has been largely put down to the emergence of the Scottish singing star, Susan Boyle. Now that Muslims know what a virgin looks like, they are not so keen on going to paradise.
xeni at June 24th, 2014 14:00 — #17
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