God is Disappointed in You

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Funny, he hasnā€™t said anythingā€¦

But then, he never does.

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As someone who has read large chunks of the Bible (hey, it was better than paying attention to the sermon), I really want to check this out.

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I am certain someone will be offended. But then some religious types seem to go out of their way to find things they find offensive.

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When it comes to matters of race, politics or religion there will always certain people looking for a reason to be offended when no such reason exists.

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I was hoping to see what he did with Leviticus and Deuteronomy, but alas, the preview doesnā€™t extend that far. The book is only 192 pages; Iā€™m sure theyā€™re suitably brief, irreverent blurbs.

Iā€™m mostly curious to know how the Book of Revelations is written.

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The whole ā€œXerxesā€ thing is something I find interesting:

Xerxes is the Greek name of the Persian king Khshayarshah, and the one normally used to refer to him in English (and other Western languages) outside the Bible. In the Bible, heā€™s traditionally referred to as Ahasuerus, a Latinisation of the Hebrew Ahashverosh.

To confuse things further, modern scholars now think that the Biblical Ahasuerus is actually Artaxerxes IIā€¦

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Sounds cool. Iā€™ve never had the patience to penetrate the language of the bibles Iā€™ve seen. Lots of good stories, useful metaphors, but really could do without putting the frighteners on ever 2 paragraphs.

This looks pretty interesting. The Kindle version is reasonably priced, as well, which is a nice surprise. Iā€™ve always been curious to read the bible, but far too lazy to try to penetrate the language, as others have mentioned. I might give this a go.

It wouldnā€™t be surprising though. Well, the message would, but not the content, you know?

I always wondered why the Bible wasnā€™t updated more often to be meaningful to modern readers. Itā€™s already a translation of a translation of a translation of three languages, so would one more update really hurt?

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Because it would just sound crazy without all the biblical ā€˜Theesā€™ and ā€˜thousā€™, not to mention the ā€˜begatsā€™.

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ā€œGod is Disappointed in Youā€

Well, to the supposed creator of all things, my advice would be to stay focused, learn from your mistakes and make a better product. You think the guy who put together the first toaster just shamed it when it didnā€™t work?

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Iā€™m an atheist, but I thought one of the main reasons to read the bible was not to just read a story, but rather to understand Godā€™s message? For example, in the Old Testament, if you take the story of Abraham and Isaac at face value, God seems like a total dick! He tests a true believerā€™s faith to the breaking point and when he realizes that yes, his true faith is the real deal, God says ā€œhaha just a test, nevermind!ā€

But the meaning behind the story is one of faith and attempting to understand Godā€™s mind. Questions of doubt and faith and love and family come into play. From looking at the text on Amazon, it looks like this has been mostly glossed over in an attempt to be witty. For example, the section on Genesis says ā€œGodā€™s one rule was that they couldnā€™t eat from this magical tree heā€™d planted in the center of the garden. I donā€™t know why he put it there. It just tied the whole garden together.ā€

So, not only is it dismissive of the meaning behind the tree of knowledge of good and evil, but it throws in a Big Lebowski reference.

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There are several translations written in modern language. It definitely makes it easier to understand.

I havenā€™t read the entire Bible, eitherā€“but Iā€™m pretty familiar with crucial parts of it, and I suspect that complete lack of familiarity with its content and especially the language of the King James version leads to a kind of (Western) cultural deficit, a deafness to non-trivial ideas, traditions, and (for a word person) language. If one is content to live within the cultural-historical horizons of, say, the last couple decades, then thatā€™s no big deal. But thatā€™s a pretty small circle. Like it or not (and as an apostate Catholic with a solid theological education, I donā€™t particularly like its metaphysics, epistemology, politics, and general worldview), the ideas and language of the Bible are woven into our culture.

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donā€™t forget ā€œgenderā€ on that list, too.

From looking at the text on Amazon, it looks like this has been mostly glossed over in an attempt to be witty

Well, considering how the ā€œrealā€ Bible tells of mass genocide and suffering brought upon by Godā€™s vengeful and prideful wrath, I think the title ā€œGod is Disappointed in Youā€ should already tell us that itā€™s going to be a witty gloss over of the worst parts of the Bible.

God didnā€™t want to burn alive or drown most of humanity and all its innocent animalsā€¦ He just wanted to express his ā€œdisappointmentā€ in them.

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