Man convicted of urinating on hotel carpet while shouting racist abuse, while masturbating with a fire-extinguisher hose up his ass

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The only thing that comes to mind is, impressive.

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I believe thatā€™s a 619.

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Is Sheffield the Florida of England?

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Sounds like I was lucky last time I was out.

can you like this twice?

Iā€™m disappointed. With this headline I expected to read about a Florida man. In any case, this sounds potentially like psychosis (maybe he was on drugs). The criminal justice system is probably not the best place to deal with this manā€™s issues.

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Mr Small later urinated on the lobby carpet while shouting ā€œIā€™m from Sheffield!ā€

Well, thatā€™s two hints that he hails from Sheffield.

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The only way this could have been more interesting is if someone had actually activated the fire extinguisher.

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He caused Ā£450 damage, the court was told.

If that had happened in the 'States, the ā€˜damageā€™ would be in the thousandsā€¦yā€™know, 'cuz the cleaning staff are so well paid.

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An Aristocrat!

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They work in mysterious ways; ours is not to question why.

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Bath salts.
That is all.

Or as I call it, Tuesday.

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If I were religious, Iā€™d wonder if this was God trying to teach me humility.

Me: ā€œI can write passably amusing comments on teh internet.ā€ *preen*

God: ā€œLOLno. I can make something so funny your mortal mind can barely comprehend it! Look on my work, ye mighty, and despair!!ā€

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So this is what happens when the people on the internet escape into real life.

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And then it got weirdā€¦

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hope not.

Who among us hasnā€™t done the same?

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Never take drugs.