'Miley Twerking On Things We Should Talk About," a tumblog of greatness

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I have to say, I just don’t understand the ‘controversy’ about Mileys Performance. I watched it, looked pretty much in-theme with her up and coming album and music direction, and she looked like she was having a great time. Now people are calling her a ‘slut’, ‘whore’, saying she crossed lines or whatever. How is a performance by an entertainer all of the sudden become ‘outrageous’ and a ‘slut’? America really baffles me.

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It is controversial because it was designed to be controversial. I wouldn’t be surprised if her publicists didn’t hand out bullet points to the major news organizations beforehand describing how they should be outraged at the performance.

The industry has a very specific path for these young female actors/singers. You spend several years on the Disney circuit doing kid friendly stuff, then when you hit that 18-21 range the crystal in your wrist start to blink and you’re required to make some sort of “outrageous” performance or maybe get knocked up by your boyfriend or “forget” to wear panties to some event that’s full of paparazzi to show that you’re an “adult” now so Disney can move the fanbase over to the next 15 year old starlet. Then you can fade off into obscurity and maybe make some bad movies or write a country album or something.

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Is Twerking short for attention whoring?

Do none of you get the point of the post?

It isn’t about Ms. Cyrus. It’s about what we as a society seem to think is important. Most of us could care less about what she does with her buttocks. Sadly, it appears that many of us would rather discuss her buttocks than, say, PRISM or Egypt.

WHo gives an arse what some celeb does? Their whole job is to bedazzle us, and they are doing their best to do so. The fact that we fall for it, get caught up in stupid morality arguments over their activities, only shows how vulnerable we are to effective political psychology.

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There was a video of her on salvia a couple years ago. It could be planned, but it could also be the same problem child actors have (and she’s also a child actor). Very few child actors manage to transition to adulthood without being fucked up in some way.

And of course news channels are going to cover Miley Cyrus instead of Syria. Put up Miley Cyrus dancing on a loop while talking about whether she’s gone too far and people will watch. Put up dead bodies in Syria on a loop while talking about whether we should nuke them from orbit and people will go:

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False dichotomy much? My brain is capable of holding both twerping and chemical weapons inside.

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Sorry but I didn’t care for miley cyrus before and I don’t give any more of a crap abut her now.

"Jimmy had a punk band

They were notorious for fitting the name of a female body part in
every song

Their demo tape,“Rape-a-saurus,” featured tracks like “Kill The Dutch”
and “Suck On My Tumor, bitch”

They signed to a major

And the kids loved their stuff when they went on tour with New Found
Glory

They were carving a new niche, opening doors for raunch rock, and the
Meatmen reformed again

But Jimmy started hanging out with Jello Biafra

And Dee Dee Ramone’s will bequeathed him all of his drugs

Then he teamed up with Enya and traded his guitar for a lute and a
Casio

And put out his new age concept album “Tears of Bin Laden: A Jihad Of
Love”

He said, “I want to be taken seriously as an artist”

“There’s more to me than you’ve ever seen, I’m not limited by your
perception”

“I want to be taken seriously as an artist”

“I still wear that big spiked strap-on on stage, but as a metaphor for
U.S. oppression”

**Fifi was a pop star

She rocked the headset mic and shook her supposedly natural
wink-wink-nudge-nudge “virgin” mombags

The Billboard top 40 was packed with 38 of her tracks and a couple new
Tupac songs

With hits like “Let’s Not Ruin It By Doin’ It” and “I’m Not Ready To
Hold Hands Yet”

She had her name on lunchboxes, posters and t-shirts and perfumes and
golf balls and pruning shears

Then she decided the world wanted to see the real Fifi

Who was apparently a skin-flashing whore who’d gladly do anyone

She dated Marilyn Manson, dumped him for Madonna, dumped her for the
corpse of Curt Cobain

She’d show up on the red carpet, wearing nothing but a thong and two
well-placed wads of chewing gum

She said, “I want to be taken seriously as an artist”

“And you can only achieve true artist status by banging everyone in
your respective scene”**

“I want to be taken seriously as an artist”

“I can’t be a good girl forever, I mean, my gawd I’m almost 15!”

If I linger 'round too long, will this desire catch up with me?

Will there be “An Evening of Worm Quartet with the London Symphony?”

Will “Worm Quartet Unplugged” be a reality someday?

Will it just be me smacking buttons on my keyboard and bitching that
the damned

thing just won’t play?

Fifi formed a punk band

Made up of studio musicians with models to play them in her videos

Somehow her fanbase was left behind

Jimmy is a pop star

Shirtless on Seventeen, posing and pouting and singing with his new
boy band

Somehow his fanbase was left behind

They said, “We want to be taken seriously as artists”

“If you don’t like our new stuff, then you’re not real fans, we never
needed you anyway”

"We want to be taken seriously as artists

“But in a few years, we’ll crawl back to our roots, to make sure we
don’t fade away”

“And we’ll see you again someday”

“We’ll see you again someday”

“When our fortunes are pissed away”

“In a small club in East L.A.”

“Opening for Worm Quartet!”"

I wasn’t shocked that a former Disney child star went for the sex thing during the VMAs – This has been done before, remember.

What I found shocking was just how BAD it was. The music, the dancing, the choreography – total shit. If you’re going to try to come out as sexy, be sexy. This was just lame. I’m embarrassed for her. Brittany Spears was 100 times as good when she pulled this off much more successfully ages ago. And honestly, that’s saying something.

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she needs to get that tongue checked out.

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Brittany Spears was 100 times as good when she pulled this off much more successfully ages ago. And honestly, that’s saying something.

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My brain is capable of holding both twerping and chemical weapons inside.

Just don’t twerp chemical weapons or you’ll get a bad rash on your backside.

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Im sure this breaks a record for fastest time from news event to ‘wry satirical meme’.

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“You Forgot Poland”

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