#1 By: Cory Doctorow, January 17th, 2014 19:01
#2 By: Acer Platanoides , January 17th, 2014 19:15
oh, so refined sugar IS the real gateway drug. who knew?
#3 By: Stefan Jones, January 17th, 2014 19:16
Note that this refers to the American version of Smarties.
British Smarties, which closely resemble M&Ms, are perfectly safe to snort.
#4 By: Devin Carless, January 17th, 2014 19:18
Well, if there wasn't a Smartie-snorting epidemic, there is now.
#5 By: AnonKopimi, January 17th, 2014 19:20
Watch me freak out the school counselor. She'll believe ANYTHING I say if it's about drugs or sex. Remember when I told her about Jenkem? Or the sex bracelets?
#6 By: galaxies, January 17th, 2014 19:20
South County RI: The florida of new england
#7 By: Stefan Jones, January 17th, 2014 19:20
Of course, all of these warnings are just going to make reckless youth want to snort Smarties even more.
They'll work the warnings into their teen-lingo. Parents, teachers, and pastors should note use of terms like "Maggot Me, my Homie!" which could mean "Provide me with a hit of Smartie dust, friend!"
"Razor tube" could refer to a rolled up dollar bill, not a tool used for wholesome pastimes such as building model airplanes.
#8 By: Stefan Jones, January 17th, 2014 19:25
I find this whole fad highly suspicious.
As far as I know, Smarties are only sold around Halloween, to give cheap-skate homeowners something to give out.
They're second to last candy that Trick-or-Treaters consume. (Jolly Ranchers are the very last.)
So: You just gotta know that the manufacturer of Smarties planted this rumor.
#9 By: Melted_Crayons, January 17th, 2014 19:28
#10 By: Alan Reed, January 17th, 2014 19:29
Back in the day, it was Pop Rocks. A clean, if Rice Krispies-like experience in your sinus cavity. No imagined maggot danger. Portsmouth, get over it... kids do stupid $#!+ and YouTube has ample evidence of that.
#11 By: rider, January 17th, 2014 19:29
Next you know they'll be using vodka soaked tampons.
#12 By: Michael Smith, January 17th, 2014 19:34
Thats not a smartie, this is a smartie:
#13 By: Cary, January 17th, 2014 19:35
Smarties in the US are made with dextrose. A pretender that is literally half the sugar that sucrose is... If they were still made out of sugar, I might be snorting them.
I'm wondering if nose maggots would help keep my sinus cavities clear or if they would simply add to the mucosal mess?
Edit: Nevermind -- nope, nope, nope
#14 By: Wes Rand, January 17th, 2014 19:46
Portsmouth isn't in South County. And you think South County is Florida because beaches?
#15 By: zuludaddy, January 17th, 2014 19:47
Swamp Yankees FTW - I was married to one...
(and despite local colloquialisms, there's no "South County" proper... Would Newport County be included in there, anyway?)
#16 By: Wes Rand, January 17th, 2014 19:53
Aquidneck Island is its own little world.
#17 By: Missy_Pants, January 17th, 2014 19:54
Nope, those are ROCKETS.
#18 By: Wes Rand, January 17th, 2014 19:58
Those look like the Smarties I remember Smarties
Edit: "Smarties" are called "Rockets" in Canada?
#19 By: Mike Andrews, January 17th, 2014 20:07
Non-existent risk. Hysteria.
The super should be encouraged to retire.
Now if he warned about those Mickey & Stars tattoo blotter acids that were being found willy-nilly everywhere, then....
#20 By: Boundegar, January 17th, 2014 20:12
Not at all - they're available in my office candy jar even as we speak... er... type. But I personally prefer NECCO.
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