Nutty vintage ads for drug paraphernalia

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Drug paraphernalia aside, I totally had that dollhouse bathroom set.
It was pretty standard back in the 70s.


The classic HEAD waterpipe. You will get it right once. ONCE.

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OK fine, I’ll be that guy who doesn’t understand why doing coke would cause you to have wet fingers in the early eighties.


puff away on doll house size furniture!



Sticking your fingers up there to clean the way?

Ohhh, you’re saying that “wet fingers” is a euphemism for “snot-covered fingers”?

I guess that makes sense. I wouldn’t know, since I pick my nose like a maniac at all times, so if I ever wanted to snort coke the runways would be clear.

I think it’s a little disk to suck the moisture out of the coke. Like a dehumidifier. But for the drugs. Or people are gettin real sweaty.

No, it just means wet fingers as in running your fingers under a cold tap then sticking them up your nose to soothe the red, inflamed passageway irritated by snorting. This product sprays the water up there instead, thus the “civilized alternative” thing.


OMG Thank you for posting this, I have been looking for the ad for “The Head” forever… they used to advertise in Penthouse and other dirty magazines in the 1980’s.

I did too! And I’d never seen a toilet in real life with the tank and chain setup, so I was really confused by it.

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Your alkaloid salt of choice dissolved in 1-2ml of water in an old metered dose sudafed spray bottle is remarkably discreet and effective. A little practice is needed to pop the tops off & replace them without damage, but after that you’re golden (n.b. remember to clearly label the bottle in some way, and DO NOT store the Bad Sudafed near the Good Sudafed. Otherwise youse gonna be Awake By Mistake).


We used to get a catalog named “Mellow Mail” at our house in the 80s…combination lingerie catalog (more “stripper-wear” than “Victoria’s Secret”) and drug paraphernalia catalog. There were pages and pages of precision gram scales…with photos of jellybeans being weighed on them…

Doing coke does not cause you to have wet fingers. The ad is for a device that provides better insufflation delivery than that of wet fingers, i.e. moisture diminishes the potency of snorted cocaine (or any powdered substance), and fingers are often wet compared to many other things.

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I’d argue (as per my advice above) that moisture helps rather than hinders crossing over the mucous membranes, as anyone who’s snorted a palmfull of water after a heavy night can attest. Lots of dried crap up there is suddenly wet crap, and you’re high again (I’m a much better person now, and you shouldn’t do drugs, kids, BTW).

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Yes, but moisture makes the powder less aerodynamic—its mechanical potency is diminished.

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Remember when CA sales tax was only 6%?

I think it’s more to clean the telltale residue off your moustache and nostrils. Cocaine, being a topical anæsthetic, may cause irritation with long-term use, but not right after you’ve snorted it. (And I doubt this was being marketed to crank users.)

Coke would dry out your nose and crust up in there. A little water would dissolve the crusty bits on the surface and give you a second high.

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