xeni at February 20th, 2014 15:50 — #1
hughstimson at February 20th, 2014 16:05 — #2
Fraternities/sororities have my vote for weirdest extant phenomenon in America. I reserve the right to move my vote in the future, but seriously.
I look forward to reading this article.
hughstimson at February 20th, 2014 16:07 — #3
It takes a certain kind of personal-injury lawyer to look at the facts of this glittering night and wrest from them a plausible plaintiff and defendant, unless it were possible for Travis Hughes to be sued by his own anus.
I have begun, and it is going well.
spunkytws at February 20th, 2014 16:27 — #4
All else aside, someday I hope to write a phrase as beautiful as "under the influence of powerful inebriants, not least among them the clear ether of youth itself..."
crenquis at February 20th, 2014 16:34 — #5
I had a lot of 'splaining to do the time the wife caught me huffing that stuff...
michael_best at February 20th, 2014 16:45 — #6
I know the story was about falling off balconies, but I was morbidly curious what became of our bottle rocket protagonist (or perhaps proctologist), but was too lazy to read the entire thing.
mufflebutt at February 20th, 2014 16:56 — #7
The limited legal recourse of his anus are the last we hear of him, I'm afraid.
cellocgw at February 20th, 2014 17:51 — #8
All these years since college, and this article brings back memories of the.worst.fucking.part. About the only good thing frats did on my campus (Colby) was to keep most of the jocks away from the rest of us. They (the frats) were nearly uniformly destructive, abusive, sexist, and even (in those ancient days) racist. I give major props to the school for completely shutting them down a few years after I graduated.
sean_peter at February 20th, 2014 17:52 — #9
Pffft - amateurs. The Australian Version = Best Headline Ever.
Wish I could post picture on first post though
brainspore at February 20th, 2014 18:12 — #10
The thing that weirds me out about stories like this is that theoretically college students should be some of the brightest young people in America. If our institutions of higher learning are still populated by kids like this Rocketeer, what the hell are the high school dropouts up to?
jardine at February 20th, 2014 18:33 — #11
Appropriate music to go with the article. Fire in the Hole.
willium at February 20th, 2014 19:05 — #12
I was a bit confused when I first read the article. I thought he had inserted the entire rocket into his butt. This would not have ended well for the kid. On second consideration (and different language from other articles online), I imagine he stuck a bit of the stick end of the rocket into himself (much as one would stick a rocket into the ground). Under this scenario the kid's "receiving end" would get some nice burns, but nothing serious. Bummer.
jorpho at February 20th, 2014 19:16 — #13
I missed a word and the paragraph took on a strange new meaning.
he would shove a bottle rocket up his ass and blast into the sweet night air
...leaving the party and soaring away...
(But stronger drugs would probably be needed to inspire that train of thought.)
woodchuck45 at February 20th, 2014 19:32 — #14
Judging by the vast array of youtube videos out there, I now know that the proper method is to use your asscrack to hold the stick, not actually insert the stick into your anus.
brainspore at February 20th, 2014 19:33 — #15
Ha ha, you said "bum."
crenquis at February 20th, 2014 19:37 — #16
I assumed that he used bummer as a shortcut for "bum burner"
timothy_krause at February 20th, 2014 21:06 — #17
He later dropped out of college altogether, having failed a number of courses, including anatomy and Latin, but he always referred to that year (sometimes, it must be said, to the polite derision of his more learned colleagues) as his anus mirabilis.
webiii1976 at February 20th, 2014 22:18 — #18
You've given this shit entirely too much thought.
harleylowspeed at February 21st, 2014 00:18 — #19
You'd think they would just stick to lighting farts.
niktemadur at February 21st, 2014 01:25 — #20
What followed ignition was not the bright report of a successful blastoff, but the muffled thud of fire in the hole.
Brilliant, with distinct echoes of the Bulwer-Lytton Awards.
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