£2m London apartment features luxury glass shitting cube

Originally published at: £2m London apartment features luxury glass shitting cube | Boing Boing


Nothing says “more money than sense” than buying a new construction condo that has a built-in requirement for an immediate and expensive bathroom renovation.

I suspect that the developers did this to gauge how stupid wealthy buyers in the market might be.


cinderella ugh GIF


Remarkably the Zoopla map doesn’t show the Wandsworth recycling dump just yards away. I can’t imagine it is anything other than lack of space.


To be fair London luxury real estate isn’t actually meant to be lived in, just owned.


My first reaction was to think of Karljosef Schattner’s awesome bathroom pods added into the baroque interiors of his project at Schloss Hirschburg.

by Dave Morris, on Flickr

…Which perhaps look a bit odd in my fairly pants photograph, but they really were fantastically crafted and very cool.

And then I thought of the LCD glass which enables you to switch between transparent and diffuse at the flick of a switch…

…And then finally I thought, ‘nah, this is just a glass bathroom where there needn’t be, and it looks weird. Let them have their fun, Dave’.


I suppose they could have worse transparent options in the room.


I’ve been to two hotels in Europe where the bathroom had a glass wall. One in Amsterdam, can’t remember for the other. Both were for work trips so I was alone, but it still made no sense to me then either.


There should be a term for that particular echelon of wealth where the toilets get weird.

Well, we could take the already established portmanteau of “affluenza”, and with a little spin it becomes “effluenza”.


No worries. I’m sure you can get a one-way mirror installed.


Peter Nicas, 48, and his girlfriend encountered a surprise at the Sanderson Hotel, a London boutique hotel designed by Philippe Starck and frequented by the see-and-be-seen set: the bathroom, encased in transparent glass, left nothing to the imagination.

“I just said, ‘Look, when you go to the bathroom, let me know, and I’ll look the other way,’ ” said Mr. Nicas, the editor-in-chief of an online travel guide.

Lisa Feder-Feitel, 53, who works for a nonprofit organization, puts it a different way. She and her husband have been married for 22 years, but when they checked into their room at the Mandarin Oriental, Miami in 2005, they discovered a glass-walled bathroom that left the toilet in full view.

“I stayed there with my husband for about 10 minutes,” before switching to a new hotel, she said. “This is the design equivalent of ‘too much information.’ ”

Switchable glass would seem to be the ultimate solution to TMI.


Or, you know, walls.


The desire to not just go with a perfectly utilitarian bathroom off to one corner is definitely an (untaxed) bracket-bound disorder; but the impressive failure of execution looks like it owes to the more general tendency to try to ram status architecture that’s a notch or two above what your budget allows into cheaper projects:

You can absolutely do the “airy minimum of full walls and sweeping view from open indoor/outdoor shower” thing, if you are building some fairly expansive villa in a place with a warm climate and sufficient available land that you can engineer the sight lines to feel really unobstructed without actually flashing the next door neighbors or the rest of the house. If you try to do that in what’s actually a not terribly large single floor box, though, you get the on-suicide-watch fishbowl style.


Speaking of expensive renovations; do you think that they actually splurged for ‘craftsmanship’ or does the central ablution pod exist to nourish the black mold in the ceiling and/or perodically leak to swell and warp the wood floor immediately surrounding it?


Which would be perceived as worse? Remains to be seen.

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I bet it doesn’t even have a bidet…


So that you can look at yourself taking a dump while your partner is looking at you taking a dump?


If anything I’m disappointed that it doesn’t have acrylic drain lines, too, so you can watch excreta shooting around and off toward the Thames.

willy wonka and the chocolate factory pipe GIF


Just make sure that they’re installed facing the right direction.

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I need the vomit emoji…