A (brilliant parody) letter from your child's school

Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2020/08/14/a-brilliant-parody-letter-fr.html


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I can only pray my child lands in the Depeche Mode cohort this fall. I want the best for them.


I think mine is already in the DM cohort… as are these kids!


The Hybrid option: eliminating the benefits of isolation and mitigating the benefits of in-person instruction. Both of our schools pretended to propose a hybrid option, but the hybrid structure was incomprehensible. Seems like this option only exists to make the other options look good by comparison.


Thanks; fixed!


Oh, choose any band name in an Internet comments section besides Depeche Mode.


On-topic, I give it a month and a couple of school-specific outbreaks before everyone in any sanely-run school district is back on remote-only learning. I wish teachers didn’t have to go through this angst in the meantime.


Our local district started planning for hybrid, but by late July it was clear covid wasn’t getting knocked down like herr Twitler told us it would and they’ve finally caved and gone fully remote. Which we know isn’t ideal, and doesn’t work for all students, but in all honesty they shot themselves in the foot by waiting for the President… I mean governor… no, wait, county officials… shit, school district employees to make a decision. Now they’re scrambling to try and do better than last Spring when it was an emergency instead of spending the last three months putting robust systems in place to deal with it.


McSweeney’s has been churning out some great satire about schools and Covid.


This is funny. As if our district would send a letter. Or an email. Or call. Or make any attempt to apprise the parents and students of the situation via any of the forms of communication I am required to remind them of every autumn.

I waited until a week after the end of school to write a letter to the Superintendent and Principal of our school chastising them for not a) actually supplyzing the teachers and staff with any clarity or training for distance learning b) deploying the mental health professionals they have on staff to aid in the mental impact of COVID isolation and conduct health and welfare checks of students and c) communicating anything in any format to parents about their plans. The goddamn website wasn’t even updated (still isn’t!).

The issue with schools is the bureaucracy that seeks only to indemnify themselves and create policies to address minor issues in the most draconian way possible while stymying their staff from doing anything resembling their core competencies. We’re almost certainly homeschooling from now on.


Same here. In Wisconsin the schools are not set up to pivot, especially in the summer. The majority of their staff cannot work (summer off is baked into salary and contracts), and funding changes require a referendum. It also feels like everyone was betting that it had to get better by Fall. Our district pushed back school start to give teachers more time to prep. Praying it works.

  1. Moving to Maine and launching your own homeschool

please don’t do this, thousands of floridians and new yorkers have already beat you to it and it’s really not helping anything.

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