A hiker in Oahu smells something "horrific" and finds out a stream is spiked with 1.2% alcohol

Yeah, Charlie, we’re going to Candy Mountain! Come with us Charlie!

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a beer pub

Huh?

I suddenly feel like going for a swim.

A pub with no beer is where you stop when you’re thirsty after riding in the desert on a horse with no name, I guess.

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As long as we’re plunging in:

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