A matrix of the best Captains in pop culture

boing
21

He’s off the chart.

1 Like
22

Hey wait a damn minute. Captain Kangaroo was a trained Marine. He certainly shouldn’t be in the corner like that.

Nobody puts Kangaroo in the corner.

16 Likes
23

Cap’n Birdseye not cool enough? Wait. No. Why am I even asking?

But where’s Zapp Brannigan?

7 Likes
24

Where would Captain Beany be on that scale?

3 Likes
25

Beefheart needs a whole different axis.

3 Likes
26

Captain Jack Harkness is invisible as it’s actually spread all over this graph.

7 Likes
27

Captain Kangaroo did enlist in the marines, but he never saw combat so it’s hard to gauge his individual mettle.

Private Kangaroo sounds like a cartoon about an Australian spy.

1 Like
28

He’s a rear admiral!

29

I know, I know…

2 Likes
30

He didn’t see combat - but he’s still a trained Marine. Which makes him a bigger bad-ass than the average Joe. Certainly he could kick Captain EO’s as. Hell I could kick Captain EO’s ass.

1 Like
31

I suppose it depends on which Captain Haddock you’re talking about. Sir Francis was pretty badass:

Haddock.jpg1024×768 169 KB

7 Likes
32

Mal would just throw Kirk into the nearest engine.

1 Like
33

…what about Captain Nemo? Captain Fantastic (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zT-7meAF-_g)? Captain Flint (Treasure Island)? …and from “Catch-22”; Capt. Yossarian, Cap Aardvark (Aarfy), Capt. Black, Capt. Flume.

Also, I noticed that there’s no differentiation between Navy, Army,Air Force, or Marine Captains.

4 Likes
34

4 Likes
35

Also worthy of nominating:

12 Likes
36

I think the Caine Mutiny explains somewhere that they are promoted to major on shipboard, since there can only be one captain on one ship.

1 Like
37

Alright, the first of you who sez America has a love affair with violence is eating a football-bomb.

capgridironloaded.jpg600×518 72.6 KB

7 Likes
38

That captain was a badass one. But then 27-years old Victor Mostovoy was even better than that.


Also, some details here: http://englishrussia.com/2009/01/11/st-petersburg-water-landing/
Combining the details, they had a front gear problems so it did not lock in open position, and would collapse on landing. The crew went so far as using an axe to chop a hole in the floor and used a shaft from the coat closet in an attempt to push the gear into position, but failed. In an attempt to burn fuel before landing they discovered the hard way that the fuel gauges aren’t calibrated properly and lied that they have a bit more fuel (OOPS). So on the Neva river they had to land, so they did.

3 Likes
39

Captain Kangaroo was a trained Marine.

Aren’t you confusing him with Mr Fred “25 Confirmed Kills” Rogers?

1 Like
40

Arr. Ye second link be broken.

1 Like