A new ad for 'Star Wars Galactic Starcruiser' suggests we need to do a lot of homework to enjoy this expensive vacation

Originally published at: A new ad for 'Star Wars Galactic Starcruiser' suggests we need to do a lot of homework to enjoy this expensive vacation | Boing Boing


Wow, that “interview” is a super cringefest of excuse-making and transparent retconning to try and explain how this completely out-of-canon cruise ship thing was totally there all along and you just didn’t know how super canon this is. Like if you don’t love it, you aren’t enough of a fan, that’s all.


If my 45 some odd years of Star Wars fandom hasn’t prepared me to enjoy a Star Wars experience, I am pretty sure that experience is not for me.

I guess it is kinda cool to have some extra lore for the ship specifically - but yeah, if that is required to enjoy it, that feels like a bridge too far.

I am the wrong generation to want this to take place in the First Order era… I suppose if you are a family with younger kids, it may be up their alley.

But - if it is established this ship has been around for a long time, they COULD have cruises that take place in different eras like the High Republic and Empire eras. IMO, that would be the way to go in the future.


Right – they just picked the WORST time period in what seems to be the majority of fans fandom. Pre-Clone Wars seems like a time of galactic prosperity and not such awfulness – why not a fantastic trip to Naboo – which is visually beautiful and awesome, vs “Lets go Space Monument Valley during with the Ashton Kutcher cast of 2 ½ Men.”


That is my feeling too. But, does Disney have the metrics for KIDS that this is the right choice? I mean, if there is one thing Disney is good at, it is getting a bajillion people into and spending money at their parks.

Or, metrics be damned, they want to push/promote their newest IP as much as they can.

Or alternatively, they will know enough 30-40s somethings will just hold their nose and go because it is “Star Wars”.

Some of the stuff in the trailer did look cool. Who doesn’t like lightsabers? Is that a giant screen where you can man a turbo laser and blast incoming fighters?

But yeah, I won’t be going due to funds and I made it this far into the pandemic not catching Covid, I want to keep it up. But if they had an Empire based cruise? I would at least really want to go.

Oh, or even what if Hondo and his pirates from The Clone Wars raided the ship? He is looking for a rare gem(s) that is supposed to be in the cargo hold, or held by a dignitary on board. If you are able to be a good or a bad guy, you could either be tasked with hiding or finding the gems. After all, don’t all good stories involve pirates?


Too bad Cad Bane is dead.


Ah, but if the cruise took place during The Clone Wars era, he wouldn’t be.

Oh, and he could be the third party. Hondo works better as the lovable scoundrel who does illegal things, while Cad Bane could be the big bad.

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Cad Bane is presumed to be dead because we saw him apparently killed on screen, but the same could be said for Boba Fett and Fennic Shand and Darth Maul and Emperor Palpatine and Cobb Vanth and Max Rebo and…


Well, there was even a beeping light on his chest and TODO 360 is around someplace…


I don’t.

Do we even know where his species’ vital organs are? For all we know Cad Bane’s heart is in his lower abdomen and Boba stabbed him through the alien equivalent of an appendix.


The number of potential customers that are rabid Star Wars fans and have enough money to do this isn’t that big. So re-tooling the story every few years is a way to try to drum up repeat business. Of course all that cross-marketing is something that the mouse is pretty good at. Even so, the relentlessness of is is tiresome.


“Quick, no one is buying this idea, what do we do!?”

“I know! Fans love detailed and rich histories. We’ll invent one!”


No, you dipshits. Fans love authenticity and affordability. Neither of which is in evidence here. Fans aren’t going to want to spend months prepping for a trip by reading poorly written tie-in novelizations of your (checks notes)… hotel? Come on, you guys can do better than this by a long shot.

  1. Redo the hotel to better match a Star Wars ship aesthetic. You may have to give up the stuff that looks like a casino.

  2. Drop the damn price so it’s affordable. The super rich want caviar and gold toilets, not a half-baked Star Wars experience, and right now they appear to be the only ones who can afford this crap.

  3. Stop wasting money on these dumb ads and shitty media tie-ins, they don’t improve your chances.

I am your dream market. A middle class old white male with family who loves Star Wars. And I’m telling you… this is lame and we won’t pay those prices unless you can literally put us on a Star Destroyer in orbit around Tattoine.


It may not be an option that only the “super-rich” can afford but the lightsabers sold for $220 each (plus tax) are definitely not cheap and they seem to be doing good business. There’s certainly a group of moderately wealthy Star Wars fans out there who seem to be willing to pay a lot for some experiences. Whether this hotel will be one of them remains to be seen.


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Hmm - I think a Star Wars themed “cruise” may not be for you then.

Yeah, he could be half cyborg by now.

“The heart, Boba. Don’t forget the heart. Aim for the heart, or you’ll never stop me.”

Repeat or new business. Like I said, different generations have entirely different nostalgia for the different eras.

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Yeah, well, religions tend to be like that.


I just find it funny that it’s a hotel based on the baddies. Like a whole experience and hotel and all that but whatever, we’re gonna model it after the badguys.

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It’s not. It’s supposed to be an independent space cruise line that happens to have rebel agents on board and apparently gets boarded by First Order stormtroopers.





I don’t




And Jason just mentioned that Han and Leia novel with the ship today too!

[Disney's super cheesy attempt to make the Galactic Starcruiser interesting | Boing Boing]