A secret society is lurking in Canada, and they are stealing garden gnomes

Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2024/07/11/a-secret-society-is-lurking-in-canada-and-they-are-stealing-garden-gnomes.html

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Contributed by Gail Sherman

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"I don’t know who you are. I don’t know what you want. If you are looking for ransom I can tell you I don’t have money, but what I do have are a very particular set of skills. Skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. Oh, and a bunch of Air Tags on the gnomes too.

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Lord Gnome (of Private Eye fame) wishes it to be known that the fact that GnomeMart does offer small sculptures of himself from time to time is entirely coincidental.

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Thus destroying the wabi-sabi accumulated over decades and ruining their resale value.

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The secret societies even provided two extra gnomes, I heard.

david the gnome love GIF

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Well, give them a bit of privacy and cleanup, and even they can find some time for reproduction.

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Was I the only one ex[ecting postacerds trom travelling gnomes?

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This is a surprisingly wholesome story for this part of BC. I love it!

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Amelie Poulain has gone too far!

smirk smile GIF by MIRAMAX

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I was expecting to read about a new chapter of the Gnome Liberation Front but I think this version is even more delightful.

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Canadians are know for politeness. Are they leaving thank you nofes

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I remember a gnome-napping story from years ago in Ontario; the gnomes had been stolen from various gardens, and stored together, and they were ultimately found; hundreds of gnomes. The tv anchor reporting on it, an anchor known for her dignity and gravitas, couldn’t finish the news article because she was face down on the desk, gasping for breath.

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The mysterious woman led him to her car, where he found all his gnomes cleaned up and meticulously painted.

I’ve been telling my wife for year’s I can’t paint the garage because The Antiques Roadshow says painting old stuff destroys the value.

Now we have strangers ruining stuff.

Is there a garage painting society?

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My wife has yet to discover the little statue of a t-rex eating lawn gnomes I added to one of our corner gardens this year. Wonder if it would be repainted with fake blood?

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