A Teenager Hit Six Cyclists While Trying To Roll Coal And Was Not Arrested

A 16-year-old pickup driver hit multiple cyclists on Saturday morning near Waller, Texas, a city just west of Houston. The teenager struck six cyclists in all, and two of them were airlifted to local hospitals to treat shoulder, neck and back injuries; one cyclist suffered head trauma, according to KTRK. Police questioned the teenager afterwards, but didn’t arrest or otherwise detain him.

The teenager was driving a Ford F-Series Super Duty pickup, and had been harassing the cyclists earlier by “rolling coal,”or blowing a noxious cloud of black exhaust from your truck tailpipe.

Assholes who roll coal should be removed from the road. Reckless assholes who roll coal and nearly kill people with their assholery should be removed to a remote island, by themselves.

h/t jalopnik


. A Gofundme page has been set up for the six cyclists.

Um, start by selling that shitty truck from under his arse.


Fuck that kid. Fuck the justice system.


“I’m going to express my nationalist pride in America by squandering its resources and poisoning its air!” was always a weird flex.


You think the driver was a Football player? Clean cut, church-going?

That seems to help in these cases, when it happens in Texas.


You’re implying that there will be much left over after making the truck roadworthy so it isn’t just bought by a clone of the first idiot for the same purpose.

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You know what I’m gonna do?
I’m gonna get myself a 1967 Cadillac Eldorado convertible
Hot pink with whale skin hubcaps
And all leather cow interior
And big brown baby seal eyes for head lights (Yeah)
And I’m gonna drive in that baby at 115 miles per hour
Gettin’ one mile per gallon
Sucking down Quarter Pounder cheeseburgers from McDonald’s
In the old fashioned non-biodegradable styrofoam containers
And when I’m done sucking down those greaseball burgers
I’m gonna wipe my mouth with the American flag
And then I’m gonna toss the styrofoam containers right out the side
And there ain’t a goddamn thing anybody can do about it
You know why? Because we’ve got the bomb, that’s why


So, a teenager can literally mow people down with a massive truck in TX, but grown women have literally no control over some of the most important decisions in their lives?



Yeah, boys will be boys. Who here, after they first got their driving license, didn’t run over multiple cyclists, even going back to make a second run at them after missing the first time? Am-I-Right?

This is a case of 1st degree premeditated attempted mass murder. This kid is a person to whom human life means nothing.

Of course, the police in Texas are not going to arrest someone for the non-crime of running over a bunch of pansy cyclists. (who are training for an Iron Man competition)


Texas has a Stand Your Ground law, right? Clearly he was in fear for his life from those scary cyclists, and was just defending himself. /s

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I’ve been hit twice (by cars). Am I doing it wrong?


Well, I myself have only been hit once. So… maybe?

In my case, however, the driver was not trying to run over a bunch of cyclists. He just was in a hurry and not obeying the rules of the road (made a left-hand turn into a line of bicyclists going the other way)

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He’s an assholee-o-lee-o, lee-o-lee-o, lee-o-lee-o


There would seem to be a fairly important difference in intent between “SMIDSY” and “coming around for another go in case you missed some the first time through”.

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longer article in the chronicle.

Nothing’s changed, but there’s somewhat more detail.


Only one small step from legalising ploughing through anti racist protestors to legalising ploughing through cyclists (who are clearly unamerican due to their refusal to contribute to climate change with their chosen mode of transport).

You can do it Texas. The cruelty is the point.


And there ya go:


They appointed a “special prosecutor”.


From that Houston Chron article, this:

Diepraam tells KHOU11, he’s now learned there could be more victims.

“Essentially what we’ve heard is there were two other groups of bicyclists that he aggressively passed, pulled in front of and engaged in the exact same conduct."

Huh. Almost like a pattern of some kind.



However, on Monday, the DA’s office finally announced the driver would be charged with six counts of aggravated assault with a deadly weapon. In a statement, the DA’s office said the teen had voluntarily surrendered himself and will be held in custody ahead of a court appearance.