Advice from these dope-smoking lawyers is useful for non-stoners, too

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Different country. Different jurisdiction. There was a time, I was once traveling from province to province, with a big arse bag of cannabis cookies tucked into my toiletries bag in my carry on luggage. The security folks dug into the toiletries bag and pulled out a bunch of items before asking:

“We’re detecting an aroma here. Do you have anything in here you want to tell us about?”

“Not anymore.”

And they laughed and one fella leaned in and asked: “Was it good?”

“Oh, yeah.”, I grinned, as they politely repacked my toiletries bag and put the cookies back in.

I told the truth.

Everybody was happy.


Why do I feel that showing up in court with one of those guys by your side would have the judge go “Guilty! Next!” as soon as you stepped into the room?

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“Im not discussing my day” sounds like a great, one size fits most kind of response. What variation of that will work, I wonder, with that question, “Do you know how fast you were going?”


I don’t have a personal story to share,but yours reminded me something from The End of the Road, a CBC documentary about the town of Lund, BC. Lund was a haven for draft-dodgers and other counter-culture types. In the documentary, one of the residents talks about having their pot fields raided by the RMCP. The RCMP is loading garbage bags full of confiscated weed on to a helicopter and then one agent turns to the other and says “c’mon - we gotta leave them something”. So they threw one of the garbage bags off the helicopter on to the ground and then took off.

TFW when your job involves enforcing laws you don’t care about.


That’s some advice! What have those guys been smokin’!!


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My Lawyer advises me to never to speak with the Police without him being present.

/ yes that is what my lawyer actually said to say at any time.


I get the reasoning, but it seems like this is a fine needle to thread, especially if you don’t have great social skills. Saying “I’m not discussing my day”, or anything else that isn’t total submission, might make your lawyer’s subsequent job easier, but it probably also guarantees that you will need a lawyer, when you might otherwise have been let go.

I suppose, if you have to live somewhere where half the cops are fascists, the trick is to be really good at understanding which kind you’re dealing with.


A lot of this also depends on location and how tan you happen to be.

“I’m not discussing my day.” Sounds a lot like “I should be forcibly pulled out of my car, beaten, and then shot when I “reached for the officer’s gun”” if you’ve got enough melanin.



May I see your driver’s license and registration?
Whatch’ya doin’?
Chewing chocolate
Where’d you get it?
Doggie dropped it


Can’t improve on the classics.

“I would prefer not to”. - Bartleby


IIRC, the correct answer to that bit of bait to get you to utter a voluntary confession is “A safe and reasonable speed.”


Are you OK with people driving while intoxicated? Because that is what these lawyers specialize in. When a cop pulls you over and asks about the smell, she is trying to get you to stop smoking weed while operating 2 tons of steel.

Unfortunately in California, law enforcement has little legal authority to stop pot heads from driving. The legislature screwed up, and there isn’t a whole lot that can be done to enforce the law or prosecute offenders.

Smoking cannabis and driving is illegal. But there is almost no way anyone can stop you. Hopefully you’ll stop yourself before you hurt someone.

Colorado is already working on this issue…


Is that from Viz?


Earlier this year I came down with a severe case of peripheral neuropathy in both of my feet. The pain is constant and beyond description. We tried everything, and the only thing that works for managing my pain is medical marijuana.

So I got a Maryland medical cannabis card. It cost me a couple of hundred bucks and took a few months for everything to process, but after my first trip to the dispensary I lit up and not only did I get a break from the pain, but I was able to get back to work.

All good, right?

Well. . . Almost. My second day smoking weed the weed I bought legally with my license, on my own property and in my backyard there was an incident.

It was about 10:00 PM. I was sitting on my back steps puffing on some MKUltra when a flashlight clicked on directly in my eyes. A man had been standing just at the corner of my house waiting for me to come out and light up.

I kept on smoking and waited to see what was up.

A sherriffs deputy stepped out of the shadows. A flashlight held up with his left-hand level with my eyes and his right hand was gripping his holstered pistol. The deputy had a massive muffin top hanging over his belt. He had thinning red hair and weirdly tiny eyes.

I glanced over at my neighbor’s house. They were watching me from the window.

As Deputy MuffinTop approached, I kept my eyes on his gun and carefully picked up my plastic container from Curio Wellness.

in Maryland, when you buy cannabis your license information is printed on a sticker that is pinched before being applied to your purchase. The card in my wallet matched the information on the sticker, so I had nothing to worry about except the fact that I had an armed moron lurking in my yard.

I held up the bottle with the pinch-tag out. “I have a license. It’s legal.” I said calmly.

“Oh! Ummm. . . You need to go back inside, sir. We have a suspect on the loose. He is running through the woods behind your property.”

“Is that why you were hiding behind my house?”

He turned off the flashlight and stood there. Hand still on his gun. “Are you going inside?”

“After I take my medicine.”

He made a face and waddled away.

Needless to say, things are a tad tense with the neighbors since then. Every time I go outside to smoke - and I have to do this or live in constant unending and constantly changing pain - they put on this production full of loud comments and slamming doors.

if they had done the human thing and talked to me like neighbors used to, I would have found a way to smoke without bothering them. Since these fuckers almost got me shot by Deputy MuffinTop, I just ignore them. Once in a while the smoke catches the wind and a puff will surround them like the dikironium cloud creature from Star Trek and it is a beautiful thing to behold.


Sorry to hear about the medical issue. Re the smoke, maybe vape it. Less smell, fewer particles in your lungs. Working wonders for me.

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Really Dude, work on your delivery…