Alabama man wanted for allegedly giving his pet squirrel meth

A quick update. The police finally captured the suspect

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Have we reached Peak Alabama yet?

Not even close to it i’m afraid,

But is this going to hurt his chances in the Alabama primaries?

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Alabama Man could be Panhandle Florida Man

Because in Alabama, squirrels are not pets. They are for eating!

I have eaten squirrel. It’s the poor man’s rabbit.

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So a lot of thick tendons and poultry like texture?

Nuts not drugs!
Seriously, this kind of thing never ends well.

Stringy gamey meat that falls apart in stew and is inedible otherwise

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Which is why I welcome the owls who inhabit my trees.

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Owls are all well and good as long as you keep them out of your workplace

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I was gonna say. If Floridians can read this news or comprehend it on TV, they’re gonna have to up the ante.

Have to say, Alabama is doing a sterling job of racing ahead in the silly stakes.

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Separately, am I reading too much into an equivalence between drugging squirrels and abortion? Are they the only activities that draw attention from the state?

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