Alleged "bitcoin creator" lawyers up


Well, based on some of his other tweets Ethan Kirschner appears to read BoingBoing, so Hi Ethan!

That’s just what the real creator of bitcoin would say, to throw us off the scent. After 'im!

Seriously, I hope he gets peace - he’s obviously not the guy.


Topnotch investigative reporting by Newsweek there.

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Oh. Ooops. Poor guy. Maybe that fellow who laid claim to making bitcoin in his LinkedIn profile really did develop it, after all…

Lawyer’s up to “clear his name” or in other words, sue for defamation. Not that it isn’t justified - this kind of slipshod reporting should get a SLAPP every now and again.

It appears Kirschner was batting from Nakamoto from the beginning, too!

What does this mean?


Haven’t you ever batted from Nakamoto? When I batted from Nakamoto, I had to lawyer up, and then the bitcoins fell down the hole in my socket and cryptod the fulk out of the https ellipsoid. Subsequently, a namecoin drizzay’ed my schnizzay. Dig? I had like fifteen thousand crypto-photographers climbin’ in my windows and trying to rootkit my hidden partitions, but I EMPed their smartphones and those smartasses shrank back into the night like wounded ninjas. Two days later, the Feds picked up the trail and sent 3 MiBs to my cubicle. I unjacked the shit from the back of my head and sat up in my wet coccoon and jumped down into the hovership and smoked myself a fat ass J and flew into the digital rectum of society. They say I’ll never get my coins back, but I know better. I dropped them into the cybersewer and manhole-in-the-middled their outerwear, so they appear like regular coins, but inside them are the real Nakamotos. When you bat from Nakamoto, you risk everything. I did. And I won and I’m here to tell the tale. Peace, yo.


I bet Satoshi Nakamoto is the pseudonym of J.D. Salinger.

Aha, kimono toasts.
■■■■■ Satan hooka.


Nah, everyone knows the real inventor of bitcoin is Thomas Pynchon!

But I thought only Redditors prematurely outed people based on wild speculation.

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Reading this comment is not entirely unlike having a stroke.


Did not read the Newsweek post, but… why exactly does it matter who invented Bitcoin? Aside from historical curiosity, that is.


Because as the creator he had a head-start mining them making him a billionare at the value they’ve attained today.

A crazy billionaire who spends his days in poverty, fighting the echoes of cancer by making model trains… Of course we want this story. It’s too interesting and intriguing not to be news. Everybody loves a good mystery. And everybody loves an asshole. Put the two together and you have journalistic dynamite.

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