Already regretting assigning the new MacBook Pro review to Borges


Originally published at:


Is this an actual review, or a critique of a review that never existed?


My guess is a minor leak from Rob’s brain…


It’s the product of a conspiracy that aims to keep publishing and making references to it until it becomes real.


It’s real, it’s just from the 19A0’s.


Borges is an entirely appropriate reviewer for Apple products. :wink:


I’m going to miss the four independent port thingies (plugs? receptacles? I never know what to call them) on the side of my Mac laptop, and although I love a good Borges joke I kinda wish Xeni would drop in to an actual review of the new one now that they’re going away. To me she’s basically the Jardin of four-thing Macs.

#NeedsMoreLikes (formerly known as "All the Likes")


How do you say “Apple Store” in Tlon? “behind the bright shining it boots?”




Rather than risk disappointment, a good editor always assigns the crap stories to someone who’s been dead for a few decades.


Before making a decision about a tech purchase I usually wait for the review from Joyce.


I thought McSweeney’s might have covered that already. But no, all they’ve got is Gertrude Stein.


“This dongle is god.”

Not the first, nor the last time that’s been said.


Seems he also touched upon the wonderful dongles that can be found in the sketchier regions of Amazon and Alibaba:

Every dongle is unique, irreplaceable, but (since the Apple Store is total) there are always several hundred
thousand imperfect facsimiles: works which differ only in a fuse or a pin.

For four centuries now men have exhausted the sellers … There are official searchers, inquisitors. I have seen them in the performance of their function: they always arrive extremely tired from paging through results; they speak of a malformed connector which exploded and almost killed them; they talk with customer service of volts and amperage ratings; sometimes they click on the nearest dongle and leaf through the specs, looking for sense. Obviously, no one expects to discover anything.




So that’s what was in the safe…


It’s just as well, Joyce’s review would likely have incomprehensible digressions into impotent sadness over Parnell and whether it’s possible to be a truly Irish Programmer in Ireland while having to program in non-Irish languages.


This has inspired me to mash-up Borges and I with Mac and Me. But, like Borges, I’m only suggesting its existence.


You win :clap: