Already regretting hiring Cormac McCarthy to revise the script for Star Wars Ep. IX

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Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2019/04/11/already-regretting-hiring-corm.html

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Of all the weird shit you do, the Cormac Mcarthy series is my favorite.

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Seems like an awful lot of wasted punctuation and spaces for Cormac McCarthy

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Will Javier Bardem be playing Darth Chigurh again?

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Welllll…
OG Star Wars was meant to be Western in space in parts, but…

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If you could keep up that style/theme for a few more pages, could we get an actual story, Rob? Maybe staring a middle-aged Obi-Wan? I’d imagine Viggo Mortensen or Gary Oldman… OTOH, Ewan McGregor would probably still be great, too …

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Nicely done!

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But are there any jizz-wailers?

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Oh hell I’d watch that. I’d watch that hard and then cry later while shaking in a corner.

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I officially hate the entire Star Wars canon now, thanks to forcing myself to sit through episodes I - III, then being slightly less bored with episode VII

I heard “Rogue One” was good, but I’ll never know.

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From Mitch Clem’s sadly missing webcomic Nothing Nice to Say, one of my favorite Cormac McCarthy writes X things: Weekend at Bernie’s by Cormac McCarthy:

For eight and forty hours they bore knowledge of the corpse between them like some grim puppet stitched and stringed from the fabric of the damned amongst the revelers who shrieked about the house by the sand like gaudy crows hopping to and fro, as the dark figure watched over them, the avatar of the slippery power of a shadowy cabal’s tendrils. In fraud they found a false gem of honesty with which they had first been brought to spread but then this gem revealed itself as coal and the pair wailed and gnashed at the dead meat which they had found and in doing so they perpetuated new frauds, ones not built of numbers and deceptions upon the printed page, but ones of bodily reality, a hangman’s ruse. Though conceived in a pounding panic delirious and unlikely, as the fantastic bloody charade persisted on the island under the sallow moon and with the sound of deep water eroding hard land grain by rock by grain in a battle of attrition older than hate itself Larry and Richard began to enjoy this, their weekend at Bernie’s.

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I officially hate the entire Star Wars canon now, thanks to forcing myself to sit through episodes I - III, "

then dark side has taken you Darth Generic

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↑ ↑ ↑ THIS. ↑ ↑ ↑

It’s not uncommon to find four or five solid pages in his novels devoid of paragraphs, just one solid and imposing army of angry letters committing atrocities in a desert somewhere.

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See also Cormac McCarthy (via Ruben Bolling) on Toy Story 3.

“I wonder what in the name of Andy we’re supposed to do.”
“There aint no Andy. And if there is, he’s a son of a bitch.”

https://gocomics.typepad.com/tomthedancingbugblog/2010/06/cormac-mccarthys-toy-story-3.html

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May the Force be with y’all.

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Samurai cowboys who fly space Mosquitos

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Seems apropos. Of course, I always think this quotation is apropos:

“I’m not interested in writing short stories. Anything that doesn’t take years of your life and drive you to suicide hardly seems worth doing.” – Cormac McCarthy

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something something melonfanciers.

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