Amazon Fire bombs

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Worst headline ever. Am I the only one who thought this was about Brazilian tribes fighting back with Molotov cocktails?

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Best headline ever. Molotov cellphone.

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It was just incredible to me from the start the insane amount of hubris that made them think this thing would work.

“We’re going to make something that’s basically just 24-non-stop advertising for our store, allowing you to easily spend as much money as you can on our store at all times.”

“Wait, why would people buy that?”

“Because they love us! The only thing people hate is that they can’t buy from us even faster!”

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Could it have anything to do with their advertising suggesting that the Fire mainly only appeals to precocious nine-year olds?

And then on top of that, making it inline with flagship phones instead of a cheap thing, when price is always one of their big takeaways with other devices. I dunno wtf amazon.

It didn’t help that much of the BoM was the (largely gimmicky) tracking cameras, rather than either cool specs or lower price, so unless you adored a niche feature with basically no support outside of a couple of Amazon demos, it was a midlevel phone that cost as much as a flagship for no particularly compelling reason.

We were wondering ‘Who asked for this?’ Now we know. Nobody.

(And I’ve been a Prime customer forever - but this just had me scratching my head as to why they’d think I would want it).

The moral of this year in big tech product releases from Seattle:

People don’t want a gadget that costs 25% more because it has a sorta-cool feature most of them are uninterested in.

I agree, after the shock of thinking amazon is selling bombs (along with 55gallon drums of lube) I had a hearty chuckle.

Nah, I just thought they inadvertently cut off the word “Hachette” at the end.

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