Amputee monkeys learn mind control methods to manipulate robotic arm

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First question on my mind: where did they get the amputee monkeys? Second question, if the answer to the first question is what I think it is: how the hell did they get the research proposal through the ethics committee? And the third question: why couldn’t they have done mind control development with human amputees instead? Generally, experimental animal research involving monkeys is only approved if human lives are at stake, the risk is imminent, and if there are no alternatives for research (I’m talking vaccine research and deadly virus outbreaks.). If these monkeys, however, lost an arm in some unforeseen mishap, as I might have missed in the lecture, then: nvm. I can not, however, imagine an asylum or recruitment agency for amputee monkeys.


How could this possibly go wrong?

Watches Monkeyshines, Planet of the Apes,… Uhhhh, I for one, welcome our new monkey overlords.

Alternately, longer range poop flinging, in which chase just teach them to use Twitter.


The linked article states all monkeys lost limbs in accidents 4 to 10 years before the testing. There’s really no way to test this sort of brain plasticity and mind control without using live subjects at this time.


It won’t even be an evil monkey that will destroy the human race, just one that is pissed off and has robotic arms.

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It’s interesting to sense the amount of exertion it must take to manuver the apparatus, though. It gives one an appreciation of what many babies go through until they’ve mastered motor skills.

I am glad to know that the bevvy of monkey machinists working the fields since we’ve scared away the Mexican workforce will have a bright future when they inevitably lose their limbs in said machinery.

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