An Eel in the Keel


Originally published at:





You know an eel is close enough to a tentacle monster for me…I mean seriously people.


So he “was curing his constipation”. Is that like the guy who “fell on a shampoo bottle in the shower” or the guy that was “fixing his hemorrhoids”. Straight dudes stick the weirdest things up their butts and then have the damnedest explanations.


I puked on that one.

  1. Chinese man is constipated.
  2. Chinese man remembers an old folk remedy.
  3. Remedy involves inserting a live eel up your bum.
  4. Chinese shits himself at the very thought of a live eel in his rectum.

Well, that’s how it should have played out.


The eel got a bum rap.



It does sound fishy.


Perhaps he should have used an electric eel.Sort of a zap-the-crap method.


I generally find Epsom salts to be a thoroughly effective and much less gross-and-dangerous remedy.


Bum rap, yeah, but it was a big ass eel.



I feel like the WHO would save a lot of time with a one-time, global ad campaign: “Every remedy you ever heard from your grandmother is a dangerous lie. If it sounds weird, that’s probably because it’s stupid. Go to a doctor, you morons.”


Howard Keel?
Kiss Me, Kate?


[quote]The slippery monster ate through part of the guy’s intestines and went for a swim.[/quote]I would have expected the lower human gastrointestinal tract to be sufficiently hostile to eel survival as to prevent such damage. Not much oxygen down there for a gill-breather, surely?



I have thought far too much about this. Maybe part of the procedure involves added water to prolong the action and effectiveness of the eel.

edit:What really wowed me about this one is they said it came out at the duodenum, so that eel had to have really worked for it.


Why isn’t Richmond in his room? He’s supposed to be in his room!