An Eel in the Keel

Originally published at: http://boingboing.net/2017/05/11/an-eel-in-the-keel.html

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Ewwwwwwweeeeeel

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You know an eel is close enough to a tentacle monster for me…I mean seriously people.

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So he “was curing his constipation”. Is that like the guy who “fell on a shampoo bottle in the shower” or the guy that was “fixing his hemorrhoids”. Straight dudes stick the weirdest things up their butts and then have the damnedest explanations.

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I puked on that one.

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  1. Chinese man is constipated.
  2. Chinese man remembers an old folk remedy.
  3. Remedy involves inserting a live eel up your bum.
  4. Chinese shits himself at the very thought of a live eel in his rectum.

Well, that’s how it should have played out.

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The eel got a bum rap.

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It does sound fishy.

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Perhaps he should have used an electric eel.Sort of a zap-the-crap method.

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I generally find Epsom salts to be a thoroughly effective and much less gross-and-dangerous remedy.

Bum rap, yeah, but it was a big ass eel.

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I feel like the WHO would save a lot of time with a one-time, global ad campaign: “Every remedy you ever heard from your grandmother is a dangerous lie. If it sounds weird, that’s probably because it’s stupid. Go to a doctor, you morons.”

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Howard Keel?
Kiss Me, Kate?

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[quote]The slippery monster ate through part of the guy’s intestines and went for a swim.[/quote]I would have expected the lower human gastrointestinal tract to be sufficiently hostile to eel survival as to prevent such damage. Not much oxygen down there for a gill-breather, surely?

I have thought far too much about this. Maybe part of the procedure involves added water to prolong the action and effectiveness of the eel.

edit:What really wowed me about this one is they said it came out at the duodenum, so that eel had to have really worked for it.

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Why isn’t Richmond in his room? He’s supposed to be in his room!