Originally published at: No, an eel enema won't safely relieve constipation | Boing Boing
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Am I a bad person for thinking it would be hilarious to somehow get Fox News to promote eel enemas as the next hydroxychloroquine/ivermectin?
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Just for headline clarity, we’re not talking about the eel’s constipation, right?
(but wait, there’s more! Here’s "My hovercraft is full of eels" in various languages)
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This is a case where “it couldn’t hurt to try” is clearly incorrect.
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Not at all. In fact,
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Who needs a medical reason for an eel enema?
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Rand Paul demands further scientific study!
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I’ve been using Metamuceel for years.
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They should stick to the tried and true method used by constipated mathematicians everywhere.
They work it out with a pencil.
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An Eelnema if you will…
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It reely works!
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“I gave myself an eel enema to relieve constipation.”
“I gave myself an eel enema to relieve constipation.”
“I sat on a carp and it slid up my ass.”
One of these things is not like the others . . .
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No, nope, hell no.
Reminds me of that scene in Prometheus, shudder.
I mean when I get constipated I know I want relief, but what exactly is that eel supposed to do in there?
Is this a quantum eel? Can it beam the poop out of the body?
How about we try a nice warm saline enema? Or lots of bulk fiber. Triple shot espresso?
Or 64oz of Gatorade and an entire bottle of Miralax. (The DIY version of GoLYTELY.)
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What about an electric one?
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He clearly hasn’t seen the movie Annihilation.
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Ah, classic translation error. That’s not what “electric slide” is referring to.
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Learning a new language is a trove of surprises!
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Do we know if the gentleman’s nipples tingled with delight?
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