Originally published at: 'An Introvert's Guide to a Party' suggests hiding in the bathroom | Boing Boing
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At any party, there are only so many corners. Get one and stick to it.
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I miss the old days when you could hang out by the wall unit, checking out the record collection and reading the album covers. I understand vinyl is coming back, though. 
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Don’t forget to take the family pet in with you. They don’t count as human company, and are often more engaging than your fellow human beings.
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Introverted but somehow always end up at a party?
hmh, some of us unaccountably always developed car trouble at the last moment (and strangely enough often at the local burger joint in the opposite direction)
(just seeing this as measured against a cacophonous social affords one an ‘ahhhhh’)
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That’s the one thing I miss about smoking. Perfect excuse to go outside and stand away from almost everyone.
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My trick was never to go. Now nobody asks.
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I feel seen. Thanks, I hate it.
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My advice: avoid parties that are either larger than N or too small where groups can’t segregate themselves into subgroups smaller than N. Where N is the maximum number of folks you can handle in a conversation at one time. And if N is greater than 1 today just don’t go.
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Be sure to check the angles and plot your escape route.
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98% of the cigarettes I’ve smoked in my life were the result of “I need to be at this party because the lady I like is going to be there!” followed by “dear god I hate this, what was I thinking, how can I avoid this while still believing I look cool and mysterious?!”
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… math, how does it work 
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The bathroom? That’s a terrible idea, almost everyone wants to use the bathroom!
Kitchens have food, drinks, sometimes animals and often a door to the outside! Loud people rarely go there 
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… and deliberately playing the strangest and least popular tracks on the record player
bonus if it makes the room too loud to talk
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And attract attention? That’s an extrovert move.
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Exactly. You’ll always find me in the kitchen at parties.
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That’s not introversion, that’s social anxiety.
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A company manager once told us of a mech at our field lab who would get around doing any work by walking from area to area carrying a shovel, something that gave the general impression that he was being productive and could not be stopped. Man on a mission! Let’s take a page from that: At a large enough party, an introvert with empty glass in hand could simply walk around without having to actually interact. Would the extroverts notice you and attempt to interact with you? Just smile, motion to your empty glass – obviously, needing to be filled – and keep walking. Just smile and walk. 
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