Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2024/01/02/introverts-say-no-and-stay-home.html
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I’ve at times been super forward when asked if i want to hang out with coworkers after a work day and answered with “I’d love to go… but actually i don’t want to” or “To be honest my social energy is spent so maybe next time”. It gets a laugh from them but they know up front that as an introvert it does take a lot from me to hang out outside work. Being honest about it saves one from a lot of dancing around invites and the anxiety that comes with it.
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“I’d love to, but it doesn’t suit my calendar.”
Everybody who knows me knows I have autistic characteristics. Invitations these days tend to add “but if that doesn’t suit you, that’s fine.”
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I often beat myself up for not going, so it’s good to hear that I’m probably not judged as harshly for it as I think I am.
When i do go, I still don’t really take part. Kinda like this:
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That is, if I go at all.
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I’ve been told by multiple people that my introversion and lack of desire to drink alcohol is one reason for my slower climb through the executive ranks. I think I’ll keep the pace as is than exhaust myself trying to please others. I also suck at golf.
Family-wise, my wife is diametrically opposite me and is as outgoing as they come, so I generally let her handle all the social stuff. It works out well - she can easily maintain 3 conversations at once and can strike up an instant camaraderie with a random person in the checkout line.
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(Did I find this here?)
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One of the benefits of getting older is that I find it easier to decline invitations. I do make an effort now and then (like New Year’s Eve and Day), but it’s with people I actually want to spend time with and who accept my introvert tendencies.
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The Irish Goodbye is one of the greatest contributions to world culture.
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I’ve often said “I don’t need golf - I’m already boring.”
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And I would add that I don’t see a good enogh reason in the game for spending hours stalking around in a sterile, pesticide- and herbicide-laden wasteland.
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TIL. I’d not heard that expression. I like it.
If you try to rebuff Irish hospitality you are making a fatal social error that will haunt your footsteps for the rest of your days. You can beat, whip, or imprison an Irish person, but you cannot refuse their Jacobs Fig Rolls.
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If it’s a really big party, I’ll just say my goodbye to the host(s). If everyone fits in one room, I’ll give a wave and a general “bye” to the crowd.
If I don’t want to go in the first place, I’ll just say I don’t have the energy right now. It’s the truth and nobody I know takes offense to it. Why would they? They know I do enjoy parties and am usually good company at them.
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I’m with whoever first said “golf is a good walk spoiled” - it’s a much misattributed quote, assigned to both Oscar Wilde and Mark Twain.
While looking for the genuine originator I came across this obviously AI generated blog post - if this is the future, then I don’t wanna play:
https://www.theannikaacademy.com/who-said-golf-is-a-good-walk-spoiled-oscar-wilde/
Total drivel.
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I thought it was Shaw. But yes, any witty line from back then gets attributed to Wilde or Twain depending on where you are.
Honestly though Irish people are the fucking worst for long goodbyes to absolutely everyone dragging it out forever.
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Hobbits are Irish, going by the end of LOTR.
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It was me.
Prove me wrong.
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