Animals in Heaven: televangelist explains dead dogs and cats (then asks for your money)


#1

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#2

I’ll probably never understand the psychology involved with someone seeing this crap on TV and then having the thought “I really, really need to send these people my money.”


#3

I think I could join this cult if I get my hands on their LSD.


#4

Can’t help but think of the subjects of Errol Morris’ 1978 documentary; “The Gates of Heaven”.


#5

“Cold Noses at the Pearly Gates” had me howling with laughter.

Wish they hadn’t edited out Jack’s trademark instant bible quote insertions.


#6

I don’t believe any proto-serial killer practiced on “ghurrbills.”
(yes, I’m mocking her sauced/tripping diction at 1:14)


#7

If there are dogs in heaven, does that mean Christ died to save dogs? Just asking here…


#8

Was that an edit, or did she shortly after that bit say that people in jail weren’t religious?


#9

Not quite, she actually said the rabbits and ghurrbills did a survey of people in jail, who are, of course, people who did not accept the lord as their savior. I suspect though that the incidence of heinous sins may have been underreported to the rabbits and ghurrbills. I mean, who could look them in the giant eye and admit to hurting alllllthoseanimals.

This made my day, thanks @Xeni!

Also, if you want to see an edit-free stream-of-consciousness-mashup-trainwreck, check out Pastor Melissa Scott.
This one is pretty restrained/heavy on the Xanax whereas this one is at the top of the manic peak.


#10

Well, ‘God Jesus’ backwards spells ‘Susej Dog’.


#11

Rexella Mae’s accent perplexes me. According to wiki, she was born in Missouri, but that sounds a lot more upper Mid-westy to my ear.

Bless her heart, the facelift really matches the voice.


#12

If dogs and cats then likely tigers and wolves. It would be mayhem.


#13

Mock her pronunciation all you want, but at least she knows the goy of Gesus.


#14

But…Jesus wasn’t a goy. He was a Gew :laughing:


#15

Missouri is a bit bipolar. Some people here sound like they’re from the midwest or upper midwest, and others sound like they’re from dixie. That’s probably not an accident considering Missouri’s role in the Civil War.


#16

Can a pig go to heaven?


#17

This seems obligatory.


#18

I suppose that depends on whether Jesus is still keeping Kosher.


#19


#20

Did Jean-Luc Godard edit this thing?