Same here. Anyone breaking into my place is going to be disappointed.
Burglar #1:[points to Japanese teapot] Is this valuable? It kinda looks valuable. Burglar #2:[grumbling while lifting up and looking at stainless cookware] Man, I don’t know. Burglar #1:[looking at twenty year-old Yamaha receiver] What about this? Burglar #2:[glances over] Uh…no. Burglar #1: Hmm. [looks around] Man. Where the fuck is all the furniture? Is this guy a monk? Burglar #2:[hands on edge of sink, lowers head, sighs] Tim? Burglar #1: Yeah?. Burglar #2: I think we’ve burgled an ascetic. Burglar #1: Dafuq is that? Burglar #2:[looks at Tim with pained expression] Dude, you need to get your ass a library card and read a goddamn book for a change. I mean, seriously.
I have a realistic sex doll with the word “MOTHER” carved across its chest, and when I set that out on a lawn chair with a glass of lemonade and lipstick smeared across its face, intruders mostly leave me alone.
That sucks, the only time my family was burglarized was when some asshat cut the power to the alarm in the car and stole the sound system. Wasn’t even a nice one, out was the stock one
I employ the additional tactic of having my house always look as though it was just recently tossed.
“We’re in! Let’s find some loot!”
“Damn. Looks like someone beat us to it.”
“Well, let’s head next door.”
“Agreed.”
“TRUMP 2016!”
“What? Why did you say that?”
“I don’t know… just trying to flesh out the play a bit by being topical.”
“Seemed a little forced.”
[exuent]
Because I like it. I like to have beauty in my life. All but a half a dozen of my pieces of jewellery cost $20 or less. The rest are only worth $100 or so, expect for a ring I inherited from my grandma. No idea who much that one is worth.
My sister was set to inherit Grandma’s ring that had a fabeled diamond. (maybe a carat? Large for the time and hit high marks on the other 3 Cs). So when mom was getting ready for her to take it they went and got it appraised.
And found that somewhere down the line the real gem had been swapped for fake. Most of the remaining family blamed the ne’er-do-well uncle probably swapped it to pay off gambling debts.
I didn’t blame them for the robberies they were victims of. I blamed them for making guns more available to criminals that they’re not (necessarily) victims of.
Keep straining. Diverting the discussion into irrelevant tangents every time you are challenged definitely makes your position look better.
You can have really nice earrings, necklaces and bracelets made from silver and strass beads or quartz, ye old precious stone sourced via questionable mining in less developed countries doesn’t make my head (but I love love love my heirloom Portuguese dinnerware. SO. Pretty.)
I personally like silver and amethysts. My house is full of gadgets and all my money is plastic so I would be more peeved by the mess trying to find non-existent stuff and if they stole my external drive with my backups. I’m pretty sure the PS3 would go but my Atari would stay.
Most of the valuables i own are nice art books and collected volumes of comic books, highly doubt anyone would bother with those. I also have a good number collectible statues and figures, i don’t know if someone broke in if they’d want to bother selling them but they’re definitely worth something all together.
Glad i’ve never had to deal with a break in, knock on wood. I’d be crushed to lose some of my stuff ]:
