Originally published at: http://boingboing.net/2017/06/15/do-you-have-a-long-stabby-th.html
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Is that what the kids are calling it these days?
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Long stabby things can get the job done, but many of us actually prefer a short shooty thing.
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Damn it… all I have is a below average blunt instrument… 
Wait - what are we talking about again?
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Are intruders afraid of silicone?
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I came for the dick jokes, and was not disappointed.
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I don’t know if I’d call it stabby, but I do have a fireplace poker (which has never seen a fireplace) under the edge of my bed. It gives me a reach advantage over a knife or most other things, it can be swung as well as jabbed, with a hook for extra utility. It’s also easy to find a good one for short money, and nobody looks at you funny when you buy it. It’s certainly not the be-all and end-all of home defense, but it’s a pretty good value.
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…but the recoil tho…
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The reach advantage is why I have a baseball bat, with a much shorter backup in case nothing alerts me before an intruder gets close.
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I have a dog, who counts for a dozen or so small stabby things.
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Leave it to @beschizza to slip in a Wittgenstein joke… Although if I recall correctly, the poker was wielded by the positivist (if either of them can be described as such).
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slip in
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How about an Inuit sculpture?
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I used to sleep with an adjustable spanner under my pillow during the year before I left Carlisle. It’s not a situation I want to go back to.
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Reminds me of Lord Russell’s “stabber’s paradox”:
If the stabber is the person who stabs all those – and only those – who do not stab themselves, then does the stabber stab himself?
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Well, we have a long blasty thing that we keep under the bed. A shotgun.
I suppose one of these days we’ll have to actually use it at least once to gain some experience. Finally buying the shells for it would help. Until then I can say we have a long clubby thing.
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They were making dick jokes in their heads in the video after the woman said that her husband was her long stabby thing, it’s inevitable; it brought the guy who started the segment to tears.
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You know, if you get a bayonet, you can have thing that is both stabby and blasty. And there are shotguns with bayonet mounts on them.
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