Do you have a 'long stabby thing' next to the bed just in case someone breaks in?

#21

That would help. I could also mount a frickin’ laser on it.

:wink:

#22

And an RPG. That would be the bomb.

#23

Georgie is a straight face MASTER! That she never cracked a smile put that into the next level.

#24

Did you stick around to hear about what one guy does to intruders with his golf clubs? The men had to walk off stage in laughter.

#25

My feeling is she was thinking, “Boys. They never grow up.”

#26

Wouldn’t you need sharks for that first?

#27

That’s what THEY want you to believe.

#28

No.

And if only a few of you are being only half serious it sounds like you must be living in a pretty desperate place.

#29

I keep a viking battle axe next to my bed. If a giant screaming naked viking wielding a battle axe doesn’t scare off the intruders, nothing will.

#30

I sleep on a bed of nails, just in case.

#31

No, because The statistical likelihood of becoming the victim of a home invasion is less than the chance that I would inadvertently endanger myself or my family.

#32

being ex military, we are against guns in our home that are not of the “nerf” variety. So, yes…yes I do actually. This and our 90lb lab are the best home defense needed.

#33

OH, so he’s going to lick them to death? :wink:

#34

She actually.

and only if they bring a cookie. She actually gets very defensive if you threaten any of us.

If you have cookies, or kettle corn; she’s your best friend.

#35

Obligatory:

Next week: Heidegger.

EDIT: Full orchestra version live

#36

I have a hand grenade and a stick of gellignite under my pillow.

#37

I sleep on a waterbed full of nitroglycerin.

#38

In case your wheels got nicked?

#39

In case the people who attacked me in the street and shouted death threats through my door tried to break in and attack me there.

#40

We have a lot of friends with variants of stabby/hitty things within easy reach in their houses; a lot of them have martial arts training or are SCA members. In our house, we have a baseball bat, a bat that has been modified with nails for shark deterrence, what I call “the beating stick”, and a midshipman’s dirk, as well as some things on display that could be used as weapons (try looking up ‘WWI Trench Mace’). If someone decided to try pranking us or our friends, it would probably result in physical and/or property damage.