Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2019/01/25/the-guy-who-always-has-a-knife.html
…
3 Likes
A gentleman should always have a knife, a pen, a handkerchief, and matches or a lighter. . .right?
21 Likes
Almost as bad is the guy who always has a multitool strapped to their belt. It’s more useful but they seem to look twice as hard for a reason to use it.
10 Likes
Well sure, they make it look silly, but pocketknives are useful for all kinds of stuff. Just the other day I used mine to help an old lady cross the street, and the day before that it helped me rescue a cat from a tree. My pocketknife is wicked useful, and you all are gonna be laffin’ outta the other side of yer necks when the zombies show up.
14 Likes
That depends. If the gentleman lives in Florida, then he probably shouldn’t have any of those things. Even the handkerchief could go terribly, terribly wrong.
19 Likes
The number of people Steven Seagal has killed with a handkerchief is well in the double digits.
8 Likes
the matches and lighter part of a gentleman seems a little outdated - a gentleman is always ready to support you getting cancer!
2 Likes
Steven Segal is so lethal he doesn’t even need the handkerchief. The mere sight of him is enough to induce atrial fibrillation.
2 Likes
I know that some handy people use them but they are usually a signal to me that the person has no idea what tools are used for. The pliers on a nut type people.
2 Likes
There’s nothing too hygienic about the handkerchief, either.
The modern version is “an extra battery pack and the right sort of cable”, I find. But then again, I play Ingress and many is the fellow agent whose phone is drained too early. And a pocket package of paper handkerchiefs has replaced the cloth one, in terms of making a person seem a lifesaver. Pen/pencil less so, thanks to everyone having a smartphone, but still something that comes in handy all too often.
Oh, and for extra credit: you know which part of the pen knife sees the most usage?
The corkscrew. But maybe it’s just me where there are often bottles of wine but no one thought of an opener.
6 Likes
Must admit that since my first IT Helpdesk job, i’ve always carried around the special version of the swiss army knife that has screwdrivers, allen keys and a pair of pliers alongside the standard stuff you get on their basic versions.
Extremely useful to have around 
6 Likes
I always carry a knife and use it multiple times daily. Come at me.
10 Likes
…there are gentlemen in Florida?
2 Likes
No, I won’t, because you have a knife.
13 Likes
The multiple driver bits make that thing super useful. I would probably get one if I didn’t already have a Swiss Champ for camping.
1 Like
If anyone needs a knife to help them think of a comment, let me know.
10 Likes
It’s useful to have a lighter even if you’dont mind to smoke, for instance you’re in Turin, Italy and you’re eating a Bagna caoda and you need to light the candle.
2 Likes
I keep wishing there was some safe way to carry a scalpel with me everywhere.
1 Like
I’m never without a small penknife, but unless asked, I usually let people struggle along with whatever improvised substitute they are using rather than butt in. Why deny them the joy of problem-solving?
Times when I did intervene and offer a knife include:
-
when I saw someone trying to cut a nylon cord with a butane lighter, and
-
when I saw someone trying to cut a piece of packing tape by poking a line of holes across it with a ballpoint pen. (This offer was declined.)
So — right tool for the job, but your point is well taken.
13 Likes
